why can't i get over him + what are the chances he'll be back?

[healthyhopes]

I feel so embarrassed posting this here, especially since this whole ordeal ended in around November, and now is January, and ESPECIALLY considering how short this whole thing was.

 

We were friends with benefits for about a month, though we spoke every single night/day since about the middle of summer. I gained feelings for him-- because how can you not if you speak to someone every single night?? I know for a fact he thought of me often as well, though (obviously) not with a romantic slant, or at least not a viable one. Anyways, he didn't return them. I cut things off-- everything, even texting every night. So the one main figure in his life was gone. Which I felt bad about but I wanted to put myself first, and this situation was heartbreaking for me.

 

Since then, he tried his hardest to get my attention when in class together; speaking loudly, attempting to talk to me, trying to incite my jealousy, etc. I kept up no contact for a bit, then slowly re-initiated contact. He was flirty, etc.

By winter break, he had a new girlfriend. (this is about a month since things ended)

 

I don't know what I expected at all. I also don't know why I have/had a hard time getting over him. All these moments of him being flirty/trying to get my attention/constantly looking at me were him looking for ego boosts, right?

 

For a while I kept thinking that since I was the one he was so bonded to, who said I knew him better than anyone, he would come back to me. But last time I texted him, asking him about friendship (which I was advised not to do, but I felt like I should do to erase any doubts or 'what ifs' in my mind-- and I would like to think that it appeared that my head was still high through all of this) he kind of blew me off, giving me an excuse, making it clear he didn't want to hang out. He also told me:

 

-he would never date me

-he would never do friends with benefits with me again

-he didn't gain feelings/thought this would go nowhere from day 1

-told me to "move on" (though to anyone else it would appear that I have, considering I have hardly even thrown a glance in his direction since I cut things off? Though I had initiated some text conversations with him, so that could have been it too...)

-told that I should have just "brushed this off" like he did, because apparently if you don't let things get to you, they won't. He likes to say this a lot, and though he thinks he can do this, he can't. Ex: last gf cheated on him, he ended up drinking A LOT and looked for new relationships to rebound off of 24/7. But he calls this "brushing it off". He claims that since I ended this thing, he wasn't hurt at all and that it didn't effect him negatively or positively, and that he hasn't thought about it since it passed-- despite the fact that he was HEAVILY searching for my attention when we were in class together.

 

When I see him now, he either -attempts to get my attention somehow (I'm assuming this was an ego-boost thing) -looks sad (which PISSES ME OFF) -ignores me altogether.

 

This was more than enough proof that I needed, but for some reason I'm not quite over the hill. I think about him often and I hate it because I haven't even had a substantive conversation with him for so long.

At the back of my head, for a while, there was this niggling feeling that he would be back, which I suppose was my want for validation that I was missed or wanted or important at all.

 

But now I need to validation/confirmation that he won't come back. I need to kill the hope, because it is killing me.

 

I need to know that if he had wanted more, he would have given/asked for more, right? Of course, it's not like I was initiating hanging out at all either, but he would have at least done more?

 

If he liked me romantically, he would said yes, would have at least chased me,would have sought more interaction from me directly instead of looking for me to chase him, right?

Looking at me as if he's sad means nothing, especially if he walks by me slowly with his girlfriend in tow later, right?

If he liked me even as a friend, he would have at least talked to me and wouldn't have been so dismissive, right?

There's no chance of something so short-term, so non-serious to come back, right?

I might have been a rebound-of-sorts for his past relationship-- in this case, no chance again here, right?

Even if he did/does have some sort of attachment for me, the fact that he's a stubborn person and can be ego-driven at times would prevent him from admitting that to me, or even to himself, right? And I don't want someone like that, right? I left him after all, right?

[AT15]

I think you'll have some contact with him, but nothing meaningful. I think he's lying when he says he didn't feel anything. But, I think he is being honest when he says he didn't want anything substantial with you.

 

What he feels is indifferent. I think in the future he will regret this.