sweet honeydew Posted January 26, 2016 Share Posted January 26, 2016 I went on second date with this guy I met online. Met him and we drove my car across town to see a show. After we sat down, the host came to collect $4 show fee each, that is when he told me he realized he forgot his wallet in his car. I didn't think too much of it. I paid (he said he will give the money back to me when we get back), we ordered dinner, had a good time. the bill is about $45 (in addition to the show fee). Then he suggest we do something else. I suggested to just walk and he drove us to a nearby beach, we end up sitting in a bar. Parking and bar total to be another $35. All these time I wasn't suspecting anything. But since I got home, I was beginning to feel edgy. I don't know why. He did pay for our first date. I think it was maybe $25 total. He said he wants to see me in 2 days. I don't know if I should see him again. I don't really worry about the money spent but I worry if he is honest, playing games, or just plain broke, or it was just an honest oversight. I mean, if I were the man and forgot my wallet, I would go back to my car after dinner first before suggesting to more places right? Do any of you have such experience to share? Link to post Share on other sites
meanthingsisaid Posted January 26, 2016 Share Posted January 26, 2016 I mean, if I were the man and forgot my wallet, I would go back to my car after dinner first before suggesting to more places right? Yes. Absolutely. Are you saying you kept paying even after you both went to his car for a drive? 5 Link to post Share on other sites
Noproblem Posted January 26, 2016 Share Posted January 26, 2016 I don't know .. I think most men are super sensitive when it come to girls paying for them .. especially at the beginning.. while I don't mind really I mean I believe in equality, he should not pay for you all the times, and you should pay sometimes .. but still, if you felt it was odd and you sensed some wrongness, it's probably a right intuition. I mean he can be honest about it. I am low on money these days .. let's just walk .. or hey that's enough for the night.. you paid enough .. whatever that implies that he feels guilty about it. However, like I said we are in 2016 men should not be expected to pay for women.. Next time just split the money between the two of you.. if there is a next time.. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Shining One Posted January 26, 2016 Share Posted January 26, 2016 People forget their wallets sometimes. It occasionally happens to a coworker and someone else on the team buys them lunch that day. One instance is not enough to draw a conclusion. Why not see what happens on the next date? Link to post Share on other sites
Robratory Posted January 26, 2016 Share Posted January 26, 2016 Well, I don't know. I thought "I forgot my wallet" was an urban myth. My wallet's always in my pocket, not in my car. But maybe watch and see... Link to post Share on other sites
mrs rubble Posted January 26, 2016 Share Posted January 26, 2016 You could always test him and suggest he buys tickets online for your next date? A movie or show or something? Just a thought. Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted January 26, 2016 Share Posted January 26, 2016 He could have gotten his wallet out of his car when he drove you to the next venue. Then it would have been reasonable to pay for the second half of the date. I'd say don't bother with him again. If he's broke, it's better to have been honest before taking you out and suggesting a cheaper alternative. Or suggest going dutch at the outset. 7 Link to post Share on other sites
PegNosePete Posted January 26, 2016 Share Posted January 26, 2016 Maybe he is just sick of chicks who are out for a free dinner. He paid for the first, you paid for the second, he pays for the third. Seems sensible and fair to me? 5 Link to post Share on other sites
Toodaloo Posted January 26, 2016 Share Posted January 26, 2016 Maybe he is just sick of chicks who are out for a free dinner. He paid for the first, you paid for the second, he pays for the third. Seems sensible and fair to me? The only unfair bit is that you seem to be spending more than he is at the moment... watch what he does on next date. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
PegNosePete Posted January 26, 2016 Share Posted January 26, 2016 Also, he said he would give you the money back that you paid. See if he offers it (don't bring it up yourself), if he doesn't then you know he is all talk and no follow-through. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Tribble Posted January 26, 2016 Share Posted January 26, 2016 Maybe he is just sick of chicks who are out for a free dinner. He paid for the first, you paid for the second, he pays for the third. Seems sensible and fair to me? It is fair, if this is what was agreed. Saying oh sorry, I'll pay you back and then not isn't fair. I believe in equality. You buy a round, I buy a round. You pay this date, I pay the next. But it's a bit rough being forced to pay with the pretence of oh I forgot my wallet, I'll pay you back. It's a difficult one in the beginning. Maybe he has been taken advantage of and wants to avoid that. But why keep suggesting more and more expensive things, expecting her to pick up the tab, when he paid a lot less on the last date? If he wants tit for tat, he should be paying his tit. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted January 26, 2016 Share Posted January 26, 2016 Maybe he is just sick of chicks who are out for a free dinner. He paid for the first, you paid for the second, he pays for the third. Seems sensible and fair to me? Yes, this would be fair. But only if it didn't involve "forgotten" wallets - then it's just about tricks 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted January 26, 2016 Share Posted January 26, 2016 At the end of the night didn't you go back in his car together? Go on that 3rd date with him he might use this opportunity to pay you back or maybe he wants to treat you to something fancy to compensate for the $100 you spend on your 2nd date. When you get to that 3rd date do not touch your wallet. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
PegNosePete Posted January 26, 2016 Share Posted January 26, 2016 Yes, this would be fair. But only if it didn't involve "forgotten" wallets - then it's just about tricks Unless he was being honest. It does happen occasionally you know! I have a mate who frequently leaves his wallet, phone, keys and anything else he happens to be carrying, in his or my or whoever's car he has been in. Seriously, he would lose his head if it weren't screwed on. Link to post Share on other sites
introverted1 Posted January 26, 2016 Share Posted January 26, 2016 Unless he was being honest. It does happen occasionally you know! I have a mate who frequently leaves his wallet, phone, keys and anything else he happens to be carrying, in his or my or whoever's car he has been in. Seriously, he would lose his head if it weren't screwed on. The guy said he'd forgotten his wallet in his car when they were at the venue where she spent $53. He said he would give her his share when they got back to his car. But then they got into his car to drive to the next destination, where she paid another $35. I am all for women sharing the tab or alternating times, but this just seems off to me. OP, if you decide to go out with him again, I suggest you "forget" your wallet at home. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
joseb Posted January 26, 2016 Share Posted January 26, 2016 OP, can you clarify if you went back to his car after dinner (before drinks)? Or did he drive your car to the drinks? Link to post Share on other sites
xxoo Posted January 26, 2016 Share Posted January 26, 2016 Either he intentionally manipulated you, or he's genuinely unresourceful and shameless. Would not date :/ 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Wewon Posted January 26, 2016 Share Posted January 26, 2016 This shouldn't be an issue unless it happens more than once. People have different things that they are on top of, I've never understood how people run out of gas when there is a gauge right there in front of them. Yet it happens and I doubt that they are running a $50 hustle. Nobody deserves to be scrutinized over a single misstep that could have happened to anyone. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted January 26, 2016 Share Posted January 26, 2016 OP, will you be kind and tell us why he didn't get his wallet when you guys went back to his car and pay you back? Did you ask him? Link to post Share on other sites
Kamille Posted January 26, 2016 Share Posted January 26, 2016 Forgeting wallet might happen. But if I forgot my wallet on a date, I wouldn't have him take me out to a second outing (the bar in this scenario) where he would be expected to pay. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
introverted1 Posted January 26, 2016 Share Posted January 26, 2016 Forgeting wallet might happen. But if I forgot my wallet on a date, I wouldn't have him take me out to a second outing (the bar in this scenario) where he would be expected to pay. Exactly. Especially when OP suggested a subsequent activity that was free and he countered with one that cost the OP another $35 (not sure why OP went along with this, tbh). I suggested to just walk and he drove us to a nearby beach, we end up sitting in a bar. Parking and bar total to be another $35. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
LydiaLong Posted January 26, 2016 Share Posted January 26, 2016 Cut your losses and move on. He broke his word to pay you back. That would do it for me. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
GunslingerRoland Posted January 26, 2016 Share Posted January 26, 2016 I did that to my wife once when we'd only been dating a couple of months. I felt awful about it.... If he seems great otherwise, I'd risk another $100 date to find out if it really was an accident. Link to post Share on other sites
Toodaloo Posted January 26, 2016 Share Posted January 26, 2016 I've never understood how people run out of gas when there is a gauge right there in front of them. I can answer that... The warning light gets really annoying so you ignore it then remember what its there for afterwards... Its only second date so it could be anything. If the rest was good I would try date 3 and see how he behaves and if he does it again or is disrespectful etc again then its bye bye loser guy. One mistake should not be judged but if he consistently does this... Sod that. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Wewon Posted January 26, 2016 Share Posted January 26, 2016 I can answer that... The warning light gets really annoying so you ignore it then remember what its there for afterwards... LOL! Link to post Share on other sites
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