Rejected Rosebud Posted January 26, 2016 Share Posted January 26, 2016 Maybe he is just sick of chicks who are out for a free dinner. He paid for the first, you paid for the second, he pays for the third. Seems sensible and fair to me? Not really, if he lied about forgetting his wallet AND keeps on suggesting more things that cost money as the date wears on. I would say the same thing if it were a girl doing it btw. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
StBreton Posted January 26, 2016 Share Posted January 26, 2016 I have several friends who are sales reps and they get a company car ... but they don't sell their personal cars...because they have the $$ to carry that car on a monthly basis. So I'm wondering...that this guy sold his personal car and is in his 50s ... that says a lot about his financial position. I'd never get rid of my personal car as I have the $$ to carry it. His behavior is suggestive of a guy who has $$ issues. If that's the case, no worries...but don't suggest a second fairly expensive add on to the date and go for a walk instead. The guy should have paid you back when you took him back to his car. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
katiegrl Posted January 26, 2016 Share Posted January 26, 2016 Maybe he is just sick of chicks who are out for a free dinner. He paid for the first, you paid for the second, he pays for the third. Seems sensible and fair to me? ----------------------------- Well then he discusses this with her prior to the date... NOT manipulate her into paying by leaving wallet in his car, and making promises to reimburse when he got back to his car.... but not doing so. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
SpiralOut Posted January 26, 2016 Share Posted January 26, 2016 He should have gone back to his car to get his wallet before going somewhere else. He also could have grabbed it when OP drove him back to his car and given her some cash to pay her back.... after all, he did tell her that he would do that. It also seems odd that he would say no to a free activity, then say yes to a paid one (the bar) after he had already realized he forgot his wallet. I wouldn't go out with the guy again. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
lop98 Posted January 26, 2016 Share Posted January 26, 2016 completely unacceptable for both men and women in a time of venmo. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author sweet honeydew Posted January 26, 2016 Author Share Posted January 26, 2016 My 3rd try to get an answer to this ^ Thank you oh, when we drove back to where we originally met (where his car is), he didn't offer me money back. He was giving me a hug, busy trying to get a kiss....Women you know the drill. When I didn't want to kiss, he asked me why. (Well, I just don't kiss someone until I have a relationship and know them better. That's just me, independent to what happened. ) Anyway my point is there was that kissing tension at the time. He was obviously very into me like he won't be able to sleep all night. And I don't blame him if he "forgot" to give me money. Hey, I am very forgiving always look at the bright side. Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted January 26, 2016 Share Posted January 26, 2016 He's a moocher. A man of his age with any class at all would have gotten back to his car and given you some money before the night was up. Lame excuse all around. No reason he couldn't just go to his car to begin with. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
strawberryshortstack Posted January 26, 2016 Share Posted January 26, 2016 The guy said he'd forgotten his wallet in his car when they were at the venue where she spent $53. He said he would give her his share when they got back to his car. But then they got into his car to drive to the next destination, where she paid another $35. I am all for women sharing the tab or alternating times, but this just seems off to me. OP, if you decide to go out with him again, I suggest you "forget" your wallet at home. Actually, they drove her car, not his. It still could have been an honest mistake. Maybe he changed before the date and left the wallet in the pocket of the pants he took off. *shrug* I like to give the benefit of the doubt, but if it keeps happening, then yes, there's something fishy. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Rejected Rosebud Posted January 27, 2016 Share Posted January 27, 2016 Actually, they drove her car, not his. in the oP she says "HE drove us to." Do you think he drove her car? Link to post Share on other sites
Shining One Posted January 27, 2016 Share Posted January 27, 2016 in the oP she says "HE drove us to." Do you think he drove her car?Yes. The OP has confirmed this.Met him and we drove my car across town to see a show.We drove my car because he said he just sold his, and only use his "service" vehicle right now so I said we can drive mine. That itself is not a big deal if there's nothing else. Link to post Share on other sites
Versacehottie Posted January 27, 2016 Share Posted January 27, 2016 I think the red flag is that he made up this lie in order to avoid paying. It's the lie not the "not paying". I was going to say give him the benefit of the doubt (and admit I need to read all the way through your thread) but if I understand correctly, he didn't attempt to get his wallet in between activity 1 and activity 2 or even at the end of the date. Again, a red flag in that "if he CAN get away with something he will do it". So his words don't mean much which is a bad sign. I think someone that INTENDED to pay and was worried about trying to impress you with being a gentleman and man of his word, would be so anxious and concerned about it the rest of the night that he would attempt to repay you (only because he offered not because he was obligated to) right away. OR if he tried and you wouldn't accept the money, right away he'd turn it into an opportunity to book you for the next date where he would treat you and say something to that effect. I don't know--I sense stinginess. This is not about WHO should pay but just about the way he was acting and his internal values. It's a bad vibe. If he's not even acting the slightest bit awkward or embarrassed than I think he meant to do that all along. I know forgetful people of both sexes who lose, misplace and forget their wallet and they are usually generous and kinda frantic when they discover it. And I've know a little handful of people of both sexes that conveniently forget their wallet. It doesn't take long before their friends and acquaintances compare notes and know that's just code for they don't want to pay, which is a pretty stingy trait. I certainly wouldn't sign up for it. Good luck 2 Link to post Share on other sites
katiegrl Posted January 27, 2016 Share Posted January 27, 2016 (edited) Yes. The OP has confirmed this. How does "we" drove my car (which is what she said in her OP) translate to *he* drove my car. *They* used her car (as opposed to his car) to drive to the restaurant. SHE drove her own car and he was the passenger. Edited January 27, 2016 by katiegrl Link to post Share on other sites
Shining One Posted January 27, 2016 Share Posted January 27, 2016 How does "we" drove my car (which is what she said in her OP) translate to *he* drove my car. *They* used her car (as opposed to his car) to drive to the restaurant. SHE drove her own car and he was the passenger. The we is confusing, I agree. Clearly, they were not both driving her car. We know they used her car to get to the restaurant. The OP says he drove to the beach.I suggested to just walk and he drove us to a nearby beach, we end up sitting in a bar. Link to post Share on other sites
StBreton Posted January 27, 2016 Share Posted January 27, 2016 (edited) Maybe he is just sick of chicks who are out for a free dinner. He paid for the first, you paid for the second, he pays for the third. Seems sensible and fair to me? Maybe he's just sick of paying for his own car so he finds a company that offers a company service vehicle so he can sell his car. He paid for the first car and wants someone else to pay for his transportation here on out. Got it. Takes a girl with really low self-esteem issues to hold this guy in high esteem. If, at 50, this guy is not used to carrying a wallet, I'd say he has an issue with being a little too carefree...and definitely not for me. Edited January 27, 2016 by StBreton Link to post Share on other sites
lino Posted January 27, 2016 Share Posted January 27, 2016 You paid for a whole evening out without even having a genuine offer to chip in from your date?!?!?? Welcome to a blokes world. Imagine you do that multiple times a month. Gets pretty pricey huh? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
PegNosePete Posted January 27, 2016 Share Posted January 27, 2016 Maybe he is just sick of chicks who are out for a free dinner. He paid for the first, you paid for the second, he pays for the third. Seems sensible and fair to me? ----------------------------- Well then he discusses this with her prior to the date... Oh ya. Cos "hey I'm sick of girls who are out for a free dinner, how about you pay for this one?" would go down really well right before a 2nd date, wouldn't it? He'd be well in there, right... Link to post Share on other sites
katiegrl Posted January 27, 2016 Share Posted January 27, 2016 Oh ya. Cos "hey I'm sick of girls who are out for a free dinner, how about you pay for this one?" would go down really well right before a 2nd date, wouldn't it? He'd be well in there, right... LOL...oh come on, you know what I meant. "Hey, a little short tonight, you wanna cover this one, and I'll get the next"? But hey PNP, if you would rather manipulate her into paying, feel free! Just don't expect to go out with her again...cuz it's a dyck move. Your choice! 2 Link to post Share on other sites
xxoo Posted January 27, 2016 Share Posted January 27, 2016 You paid for a whole evening out without even having a genuine offer to chip in from your date?!?!?? Welcome to a blokes world. Imagine you do that multiple times a month. Gets pretty pricey huh? I'd recommend that a man lose interest in a woman who "forgot her wallet" (but continues to raise the bill of the date, and doesn't offer any money when back at her wallet). But men don't seem to lose interest based on that. WHy not? 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Lois_Griffin Posted January 27, 2016 Share Posted January 27, 2016 We are both 50+ LOL. So Romeo had no car AND no wallet for the evening? I'll BET he just 'sold' his car. More like he doesn't have one or it was repossessed. He sounds like a real scammer Let me guess - Mr. "Old Fashioned" has YET to come by the OP's place (in his service truck since he 'sold' his car) with the money he claims he owes her. Link to post Share on other sites
SpiralOut Posted January 27, 2016 Share Posted January 27, 2016 Anyway my point is there was that kissing tension at the time. He was obviously very into me like he won't be able to sleep all night. And I don't blame him if he "forgot" to give me money. Hey, I am very forgiving always look at the bright side. If that's how you want to look at it, then I don't feel sorry for you. Something is sketchy about this guy but you don't want to see it. Link to post Share on other sites
katiegrl Posted January 27, 2016 Share Posted January 27, 2016 If that's how you want to look at it, then I don't feel sorry for you. Something is sketchy about this guy but you don't want to see it. I agree and to the OP, kissing you, etc does not necessarily mean he is into you. It means he wanted sex. Period. Two separate things! If he were "into" you, he would not have scammed you into paying the way he did. Link to post Share on other sites
jen1447 Posted January 27, 2016 Share Posted January 27, 2016 If that's how you want to look at it, then I don't feel sorry for you. Something is sketchy about this guy but you don't want to see it. Um ....she already decided she doesn't want to go out w/him anymore. I don't think I will go out with him again. Not just because he forgot his wallet. It is the experience of courtship make me uncomfortable so he is not the right man for me. That is what dating is about, to get a taste how it would be like to be a person. I don't feel I need to get even. The money spent is ok. I am generous with friends. This is what happens when the 'post debate analysis' takes over the original topic. Link to post Share on other sites
kendahke Posted January 27, 2016 Share Posted January 27, 2016 Why didn't he get his wallet? It was just in his car, not like he left it at home or anything. I'd have told him "I'll wait while you go get it" and looked at him until he got up to go fetch it. OP, you just took him at his word that it was in the car--and you don't know him well enough to judge his character to be that honest yet. If he started to stutter and stumble with excuses, I'd have whipped out my cell phone, called Uber and left him there. Did you agree to do this "you pay for this one, I'll pay for the next one"? Link to post Share on other sites
kendahke Posted January 27, 2016 Share Posted January 27, 2016 I'm curious, though---were you not carded when you ordered drinks? I'm in my 50's and I've been carded in bars. Link to post Share on other sites
katiegrl Posted January 27, 2016 Share Posted January 27, 2016 I'm curious, though---were you not carded when you ordered drinks? I'm in my 50's and I've been carded in bars. Interesting question. Also curious is the OP's statement that *he* drove them to the beach (in her car). Without his driver's license on him? Which I presume was in his wallet which he claimed was in his car, right? Things are not jiving. My guess is he had his wallet the whole time...it was in his pocket which is where most men carry it. He just didn't want to pay. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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