deepinthewoods Posted January 26, 2016 Share Posted January 26, 2016 So, I posted a while back, but basically have been going through a separation for the past month or so. Sucks terribly, as I love her dearly, but she was just not loving to me and had no sex drive for three years. We had sex, but usually only after fighting about it, maybe once every two weeks. Now, we are parted for about six weeks, and there is a girl I really like. I liked her before, and though I didn't cheat or have an affair, my communications with her were one of my ex's reason for letting go of the relationship. She is still quite angry and distrustful about it. So, we talk some about reconciling, but it seems a remote possibility, yet she keeps asking me if I am in touch with the other woman. I am, but we have agreed that we are just friends at this point. I am not ready to be in a new relationship yet, and still want to be sensitive to my ex's feelings. And, she says that there would be no hope of reconciling if I were to hook up with this other girl. Sooo.... I don't understand my position. I am in complete limbo, there is no progress with my ex in talking about getting back together. I feel like I would love to start again with her, but that I can't deal with the lack of intimacy, and she is pretty far away at this time. And I would also love to start a new romance with this other woman, which seems quite possible. But I am still tied to my ex by the potential of getting back together. How long should I be expected to be celibate? It seems unfair to me to have her make no commitments to get back together, and yet demand that I not move on with my life. If we are broken up, shouldn't it be none of her business? And how long do you wait before you accept it's over and move on?? I am more or less ok with moving on, as the relationship was so devoid of passion, but also heartbroken because I truly believed that she was the one for me. And we have a year and half old daughter together... Thanks for any thoughts or experiences... Link to post Share on other sites
betterfly Posted January 26, 2016 Share Posted January 26, 2016 Hhmm, I don't understand you, men… How can you want to be with your ex, but fantasize about a new romance with this other girl, who was partly a reason for your breakup? If you need sex, can't you get it somewhere else? I guess at this point, it's your choice: if your desire to sleep with that girl is stronger than your will to stay away from her for the sake of a chance with your ex - maybe she was right to leave you? Link to post Share on other sites
Author deepinthewoods Posted January 26, 2016 Author Share Posted January 26, 2016 Well, I guess my point is, I'm not allowed to sleep with anyone else, including this girl, if I want a second chance. And that sex was a major issue that drove us apart, and now it is like I am being punished for making it an issue. The only reason I became interested in her was because of the lack of intimacy in my relationship. I am expected to be celibate and waiting to get back into a relationship that was killing me because of lack of passion and hope that things have changed in the meantime? And how long does that take?? Link to post Share on other sites
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