Girlfriend Cheating with her EX? Clues on Linkedin

[MrBossMan]

Just checked her Linkedin and she's linked to a couple exes.

Like I said, annoying, but in and of itself, it's not enough to be upset about. Chances are that they've been connected for a long time.

 

One of them is the same former love interest I mentioned that didn't really go anywhere, but I busted her flirting with him via text years ago.

 

The other is an ex LDR who I found out she broke up with AFTER our first date. The rest aren't really on my radar.

 

I'll probably just look at the love interest's profile just to see where he is and make sure I don't have a similar situation going on with him.

 

Yeah, this is a bad situation and if I'm doing this, it's already pretty hopeless.

I know.

[MrBossMan]

I looked at the ex's profile (the subject of this thread),

 

She's the only connection I can see. The rest are hidden. I noticed that his skills section only has 1 endorsement, which pretty much confirms that he's brand new. I don't have a ton of connections, but I have a lot of endorsements.

Edited January 27, 2016 by MrBossMan

[Floveet]

God.

I think that if you read back all that you wrote since the beginning even yourself would never want to stay with that girl.

 

After unfortunately there seems to be a lot from your side but as it was said previously it seems that it's more about you gave a lot to that girl, to make her evolve as it was a challenge at first and now ... well now she's ****ing you.

 

I mean not you obviously. But hey . It proves that you are a good guy and you still have time to find someone worth it.

[Space Ritual]

Boss Man,

 

Again, I'm sorry this is happening to you.

 

From your reply I think you already have an idea how this is going to go when you do talk to her, so Good Luck. I know situations like this can really wear on somebody's psyche so please think beforehand about how much you will accept.

[MrBossMan]

Boss Man,

 

Again, I'm sorry this is happening to you.

 

From your reply I think you already have an idea how this is going to go when you do talk to her, so Good Luck. I know situations like this can really wear on somebody's psyche so please think beforehand about how much you will accept.

 

Thanks. Yes, it can and it has worn me down. It feels like my mental bandwidth is being stolen via wifi by the neighbors. lol I just don't have the same energy and vitality as I used to before I started dating this girl.

 

God.

I think that if you read back all that you wrote since the beginning even yourself would never want to stay with that girl.

 

After unfortunately there seems to be a lot from your side but as it was said previously it seems that it's more about you gave a lot to that girl, to make her evolve as it was a challenge at first and now ... well now she's ****ing you.

 

I mean not you obviously. But hey . It proves that you are a good guy and you still have time to find someone worth it.

 

Thanks, Floveet.

[MrBossMan]

*UPDATE*

 

Sorry for the months-long delay, but I think I should let you guys know what has happened. So it took me until late March because of starting a new job, but I eventually started asking some questions in the hopes that she would give me something that made sense that I didn't think of.

 

I started with innocent-sounding questions and then got more and more in depth. Here's the summary:

 

• She WAS still in contact with the ex. It was true. In spite of the fact that HE told her that they should not be in contact, she kept reaching out to him.
  
• She denied going to that town to see him, and even denied knowing he was in the state, but I don't believe that because I mentioned the town first in an innocent way before even mentioning anything about him (just to gauge her reactions) and she started breathing hard and was shaking. She also knew exactly who I was talking about when I only referred to him as "your ex" even though he wasn't the only one on her LinkedIn. I then asked her how she knew which one I was talking about while claiming she didn't know he was there, and she paused and told me to let her think. She then got angry at me for trying to catch her with a "gotcha."
  
• She refuses to cut off contact with him and other exes, which is a deal-breaker for me, personally. It's one thing to still be friendly, but to refuse when asked (when she admitted to initially agreeing to it when he suggested it to her) and all the secrecy... can't do it.
  
• We had plans to do something with a female friend of hers the next day, but I canceled and said I need to be alone. Two days later, I asked her to meet me (so that I could break up with her) but she didn't get back to me and I haven't attempted to contact her since (approaching 2 months). She probably knew I was going to dump her and just skipped the ceremony.
  

 

So now, I've decided to take some alone time to focus on self-improvement and just to get over it all before deciding the next move. That was five years with her. Well, shame on me because the good folks at Loveshack have told me to dump her several times before and either I didn't do it or I did but only temporarily. No more endless chances with me. That's enough wasted time. Thanks everyone for your advice.

Edited May 12, 2016 by MrBossMan

[Chi townD]

Well, her refusal to give up this friendship with her Ex over you should have spoke volumes. She put more of a value on this other dude than losing you. She made that choice, not you.

 

Time to move on dude!