draper90 Posted January 25, 2016 Share Posted January 25, 2016 Ok, I met this girl through my friend. After a couple of months she and I get along really well. Whenever we are all around each other she will almost completely ignore him and will follow me around(sit by me) wherever I go. We text occasionally, and she has added me on every social media account available. They are in a relationship where they only see each other on the weekends. She will text me wanting me to come hang out with them, and on any occasion where she thinks he will be out of town, she wants to hang out with me solo. This happened several weeks ago. He was out of town, and she sent me a text saying she wanted to hangout. We made plans and did go out together the next night. I later found out they got into a argument about her wanting to go out with me, but she did it anyway.(I've known for a while that he has some insecurities about mine and her relationship) We both got too drunk and she said she couldn't drive home. We made the decision to stay at my place, and that she didn't have to say anything. We get to my place, we immediately go to the bedroom and she immediately takes off her clothes down to a tight undershirt and panties. It took me by surprise, we got into bed and her boyfriend called to check in I guess. She didn't answer. I don't know how I fell asleep, but I woke up with me and her cuddling. Nothing sexual happened. Long story short, I felt bad for getting into that situation. My question is could this have all been innocent on her part? Or was she wanting me to make a move even though she is dating someone? She did tell her BF once nothing happened. Thanks, Will In Texas Link to post Share on other sites
Satu Posted January 25, 2016 Share Posted January 25, 2016 She's trouble. Put yourself in your friend's shoes... 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Ami1uwant Posted January 25, 2016 Share Posted January 25, 2016 She is interested in you. Unsure on your 4 elation ship is with uim. If you guys were best buddies and so he knew you wouldn't take his girl...he would have been fine with you two yogether. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author draper90 Posted January 25, 2016 Author Share Posted January 25, 2016 She is interested in you. Unsure on your 4 elation ship is with uim. If you guys were best buddies and so he knew you wouldn't take his girl...he would have been fine with you two yogether. I've only been friends with this guy for around 2 years. More like acquaintances. If they weren't together I'd be on it, but I've never done anything like that before. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
katiegrl Posted January 25, 2016 Share Posted January 25, 2016 (edited) He was out of town, and she sent me a text saying she wanted to hangout. We made plans and did go out together the next night. I later found out they got into a argument about her wanting to go out with me, but she did it anyway.(I've known for a while that he has some insecurities about mine and her relationship) We both got too drunk and she said she couldn't drive home. We made the decision to stay at my place, and that she didn't have to say anything. We get to my place, we immediately go to the bedroom and she immediately takes off her clothes down to a tight undershirt and panties. It took me by surprise, we got into bed and her boyfriend called to check in I guess. She didn't answer. I don't know how I fell asleep, but I woke up with me and her cuddling. Nothing sexual happened. Long story short, I felt bad for getting into that situation. My question is could this have all been innocent on her part? Or was she wanting me to make a move even though she is dating someone? She did tell her BF once nothing happened. Thanks, Will In Texas I am sorry if this sounds offensive, but you can't possibly be this naive. She got nearly naked with you in YOUR bed --- and woke up cuddling with you -- how in any way could that possibly be innocent? Not to mention, her boyfriend is YOUR friend. Where is your loyalty to your friend to allow this to happen? This same thing did happen to me a few years ago. My friend's husband developed a bit of a crush on me, and when my friend was out of town once he called me and wanted to take me out to dinner. Of course I said NO, but then on V-Day he sent flowers to my work (where my friend also worked!). I wouldn't accept them. Apparently she knew he was crushing on me (threesome anyone?...lol)...but didn't care. I did!! He was my friend's husband, but if he had been her boyfriend I would have felt the same -- that he is OFF LIMITS. How good a friend is this guy to you? Again, don't mean to offend but where is your loyalty to your friend to allow this to happen? Edited January 25, 2016 by katiegrl 5 Link to post Share on other sites
Author draper90 Posted January 25, 2016 Author Share Posted January 25, 2016 I am sorry if this sounds offensive, but you can't possibly be this naive. She got nearly naked with you in YOUR bed --- and woke up cuddling with you -- how in any way could that possibly be innocent? Not to mention, her boyfriend is YOUR friend. Where is your loyalty to your friend to allow this to happen? This same thing did happen to me a few years ago. My friend's husband developed a bit of a crush on me, and when my friend was out of town once he called me and wanted to take me out to dinner. Of course I said NO, but then on V-Day he sent flowers to my work (where my friend also worked!). I wouldn't accept them. Apparently she knew he was crushing on me (threesome anyone?...lol)...but didn't care. I did!! He was my friend's husband, but if he had been her boyfriend I would have felt the same -- that he is OFF LIMITS. How good a friend is this guy to you? Again, don't mean to offend but where is your loyalty to your friend to allow this to happen? That's just it, me and the friend aren't close. That's why I used the term acquaintance to describe him as well. Me and this friend never hang out 1v1, and if I never talked to him it wouldn't have an impact on me. I get along with him, but always in a group setting when we do see each other. I don't think I would see him if his GF didn't text me. Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted January 25, 2016 Share Posted January 25, 2016 No, it's not innocent on her part, and I'm not saying those two are going to last, because they're not, but if you consider him a true friend, you need to block her and cut all contact right now to honor that friendship and let those two fall apart on their own. Don't tell him. If she gets drunk and tells him, then you can say, Yeah, I didn't mean for her to get the wrong idea, which is why I blocked her after that. Sorry. Now you know she will totally cheat with the best friend of whoever she's dating, so you should in no way consider seeing her again because that's low. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Hughes101 Posted January 25, 2016 Share Posted January 25, 2016 I dont know. What do you want from her? Don't get in a relationship with her!! If she will cheat with you then sooner or later she will cheat on you. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author draper90 Posted January 25, 2016 Author Share Posted January 25, 2016 So you guys think she was ready to cheat? I've told one person that I trust and they were like "Dude...Really. She was all but telling you." I'm fairly certain she told him she stayed over, but didn't give the details. Link to post Share on other sites
Hughes101 Posted January 25, 2016 Share Posted January 25, 2016 Sure shes trying to monkey branch to a new relationship - like how we quit a job until we have another one secured. So by all means have fun but don't let her talk you into any commitment. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author draper90 Posted January 26, 2016 Author Share Posted January 26, 2016 Sure shes trying to monkey branch to a new relationship - like how we quit a job until we have another one secured. So by all means have fun but don't let her talk you into any commitment. That's what I've been told. I've had a few friends ask me if anything was going on in the last month or two just by the way she acts when I'm around. But she took it to a new level when we hung out the other night. Link to post Share on other sites
RySant Posted January 26, 2016 Share Posted January 26, 2016 (edited) no offense, [] I believe you already know what to do. You should know what to do already. But I have this feeling you want to tread on the dark path and I am not sure how many responses you need here for you to know that what happened is inappropriate at best and regardless if you're only friends with your friend for 2 years, whether he's just an acquaintance or whatever, that doesn't give you a license to steal his girlfriend or hurt him by participating in this cheating stuff. Morals and values, dude. Just look into your own and you'll definitely know what to do. Edited January 26, 2016 by a LoveShack.org Moderator 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author draper90 Posted January 26, 2016 Author Share Posted January 26, 2016 (edited) no offense, [] I believe you already know what to do. You should know what to do already. But I have this feeling you want to tread on the dark path and I am not sure how many responses you need here for you to know that what happened is inappropriate at best and regardless if you're only friends with your friend for 2 years, whether he's just an acquaintance or whatever, that doesn't give you a license to steal his girlfriend or hurt him by participating in this cheating stuff. Morals and values, dude. Just look into your own and you'll definitely know what to do. You're right. I've already cut contact. Guess I'll just stay on that path. Edited January 26, 2016 by a LoveShack.org Moderator 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Satu Posted January 26, 2016 Share Posted January 26, 2016 You're right. I've already cut contact. Guess I'll just stay on that path. Good for you. You've just demonstrated integrity and good faith. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted January 26, 2016 Share Posted January 26, 2016 This would be a situation where I would tell him his GF is a skank and his anxiety about her is spot on. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted January 26, 2016 Share Posted January 26, 2016 It is good manners to check in with the BF that you are hanging out with his Gf. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author draper90 Posted January 26, 2016 Author Share Posted January 26, 2016 It is good manners to check in with the BF that you are hanging out with his Gf. He knew we were hanging out. I just didn't find out he was unhappy about it til later on that week. Link to post Share on other sites
Space Ritual Posted January 27, 2016 Share Posted January 27, 2016 He knew we were hanging out. I just didn't find out he was unhappy about it til later on that week. You think you found out about him being unhappy, just wait til you run into him again. If I were you I would steer clear of the entire circle of friends. Perception is reality, young man, whether you realize it or not. It does not matter what happened in reality, for all you know this chick sold her boyfriend a bill of goods about you and totally absolved herself of any culpability. The perception that you now have with this group of friends is probably not going to be a good one from now on. You might have unwittingly stepped on a land mine. Please find a new social circle. Something like this is going to follow you, for better or worse. Pretty sticky situation. Please make better choices in the future. I don't like stories like this because someone has the potential to get hurt, and I don't mean emotionally. Angry guys who only have one side of a story don't want to hear the other side if they feel disrespected. Stay safe. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Space Ritual Posted January 27, 2016 Share Posted January 27, 2016 That's what I've been told. I've had a few friends ask me if anything was going on in the last month or two just by the way she acts when I'm around. But she took it to a new level when we hung out the other night. Draper, this is another reason why you probably need to get into another social circle. People talk and obviously they already have been. So again her BF my be getting an earful from somebody you thought you could trust, but trust and friends have a strange way of disappearing in a situation like this. I'm serious, be careful, man 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Floveet Posted January 27, 2016 Share Posted January 27, 2016 It reminds me of a story ... Once i was out clubbing with some friends. There were a couple. I didn't know them much, but i knew the gf was always playing with me. I was single at this time but mostly interested in getting drunk, having fun and enjoy the sound. It happened that some weird guys were talking to her so i "rescued" her because im nice... She thanked me and told me that her boyfriend was out talking to some girls. Well that was not my business so whatever. She wanted me to pretend i was her boyfriend (no touch just answering to guys ) so that she could dance alone and no one bother her. So yeah i agree, no prob. Finally, she happen to move the game further while a guy try to talk to her (really pretty girl i admit) and she fake to kiss me (or maybe she was not faking as it was getting really close) at the same time i look on my right randomly and push her and who's coming... Her boyfriend seeing that who don't really care about MY SIDE of the story and get mad. Fortunately other friends were able to reason him. But well here's the thing, as other people said : There's only ONE Side of the story that interest them and in your situation, you don't really get the advantage to share yours. So disappear for a little while until they talk, unless she blame everything on you haha. Link to post Share on other sites
Chi townD Posted January 27, 2016 Share Posted January 27, 2016 That's just it, me and the friend aren't close. That's why I used the term acquaintance to describe him as well. Me and this friend never hang out 1v1, and if I never talked to him it wouldn't have an impact on me. I get along with him, but always in a group setting when we do see each other. I don't think I would see him if his GF didn't text me. See, this is you trying to justify your actions. It still doesn't change the fact that THIS IS SOMEONE ELSE'S GIRL!!! She was half naked and in your bed. You laid there as you watched her ignore a call from HER BOYFRIEND! And it would never bother you if you never talked to the guy. WELL, OF COURSE IT WOULDN'T! You're doing something shady with HIS girlfriend! I'm mean, they're getting into arguments about YOU! And what happens if you hook up with her and she leaves this guy. Are you ready to lose your friends over this? Because, if your friends have half a brain, they're not going to trust you around their girlfriends if you can do something like that to a guy you know. Dude, you need to distance yourself from that girl right now. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
frigginlost Posted January 27, 2016 Share Posted January 27, 2016 You're right. I've already cut contact. Guess I'll just stay on that path. Good move... because you're a d*ck if you didn't. The fact that you even had to ask on this board shows that you have some integrity issues. Glad you saw the light. Good on you. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author draper90 Posted January 28, 2016 Author Share Posted January 28, 2016 This would be a situation where I would tell him his GF is a skank and his anxiety about her is spot on. Yeah, I'm just going to stay out of it. I think he'll figure it out sooner or later. She told him that she stayed with me, but I'm sure she left out the details. Knowing him, he wouldn't believe any of it anyway. Link to post Share on other sites
Author draper90 Posted January 28, 2016 Author Share Posted January 28, 2016 Draper, this is another reason why you probably need to get into another social circle. People talk and obviously they already have been. So again her BF my be getting an earful from somebody you thought you could trust, but trust and friends have a strange way of disappearing in a situation like this. I'm serious, be careful, man I hear you. Confrontation isn't in his nature, but I know desperate people do desperate things. Link to post Share on other sites
Space Ritual Posted January 29, 2016 Share Posted January 29, 2016 Yes I say that because again whatever this girl was up to for all you know she may have told her boyfriend a different story. Stranger things have happened but there are drama queens out there who would like nothing more than to see 2 guys fighting because of them. Link to post Share on other sites
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