100% Faithful?

[Shepp]

For guys, bump it up to your favorite hot-as-hell celebrity...Taylor Swift, Zooey Dechannel, Mila Kunis, Selina Gomez, Jennifer Lawrence, Morena Baccarin, whoever floats your boat. Combined with NO chance of being caught? NO repercussions? And just a ONE time thing? No sneaking around or being involved in an on-going thing?

 

Its not even about the fact that my gf is stunning and I couldn't even find anyone as beautiful as her if I tried and its not about the fact that we're happy and id be a fool to throw that away! It doesn't matter about whether I'll be caught. I'LL always know!

I couldn't live with doing that to my wife. I couldn't live as a man who promised her his love, protection, security, loyalty, and then stuck the knife in her back when he had the chance.

And because i'm proud of the man in the mirror. He's a good guy, he's a man of his word. No one else needs to know because I couldn't look reflection in the eye without feeling sick. I'd always know that any morals I try to project in my life were BS because given the chance I was a liar and a cheat.

 

Because my word means something to me!

Honour, loyalty, integrity & courage are the key values by which I try to live my life.

When I give my word - it means something to me! and If I give my word to someone then I would die for them - and that's a statement about my character I can make because its been tested!

 

I try to be the best leader I can be on the football pitch, I want to be a leader at work, I hope one day i'll be a guy that my kids will be proud to call there dad! There was a quote my grandad always tells me - Become the kind of leader that people would follow voluntarily; even if you had no title or position. I don't personally believe you can lead people that don't trust in you!! I want when I die for people to be able to say for everything I did wrong and for all the mistakes I made - my word was my bond and they could trust me!

 

And that is too important to me to throw away on some cheap sex!

 

There are many that say "No way !" But i've always believed that given the right time...the right place...and with the right person.... everyone would give in.

Bullsh't, Bullsh't, Bullsh't!!

 

I'm 100% monogamous. Its not about if she'd find out or how hot the girl is or the state of our relationship - its about the fact that I, have no desire to be with more than one girl.

There are no exemplary circumstances - I'm not going to live the rest of my life not being able to look the man in the mirror in the eye.

 

I can't begin to fathom why people cheat. I don't understand it. And I certainly don't understand this BS science about being wired to do something that I will never do - not because i'm choosing not to but because there simply is no other choice. Line up the last decade of miss worlds naked in my garden - I only want my wife! I could be stuck in an elevator for 5 days with Cheryl Cole and there would be no temptation to cheat on my wife!

 

I have no desire to, like I have no desire to go and key my car, and I have no desire to cheat...and there's no discipline involved where there's no desire.

I wouldn't only choose to be 100% faithful - It'd be easy.

 

I'm like a beaver right - first love till death do us part!

[serial muse]

I agree. Part of the issue was that the OP's example of a sudden hookup with a hot person might be more of a male fantasy than a female fantasy (based on some of the comments) but...

 

 

Imagine the question was more basic. Something like, "You have an opportunity to live out your wildest/favorite sexual fantasy...whatever it is...with whoever you want...and your spouse/significant other would NEVER know. Would you do it?"

 

I don't necessarily think it has to be a gendered issue. Look at Shepp's post, for example. I think it's probably too reductive to frame it in that way.

 

I actually think your second graph above is just a restatement of the OP's post, with the addendum of "your spouse will never know". But I don't get the sense that the spouse knowing or not knowing is really the issue here for a lot of people. It's about temptation. I'm sure that some would feel more tempted by the idea that they could get some strange with no consequences - because being secretive is their fantasy. For others, the scenario might be tempting because hooking up with a stranger is their fantasy, or because hooking up with a particular famous person is their fantasy, or because etc. etc.

 

The point, though, is that it would need to fulfill a fantasy, and if none of the above is the fantasy, then that scenario isn't particularly appealing and doesn't push the right button(s). You see?

 

I also, by the way (and this isn't specifically directed at you, MightyPen), don't think it's worthwhile to assume that people are lying or haven't thought it through if they say this particular scenario isn't their fantasy. I suspect that most people do think it through, and are trying to answer sincerely. So maybe it just means that it takes all types to make a world. A lot of people might find a way to be tempted, and this just isn't it. And some may genuinely feel that it's not worth it. Why invalidate anyone's responses?

[Miss Peach]

I agree. Part of the issue was that the OP's example of a sudden hookup with a hot person might be more of a male fantasy than a female fantasy (based on some of the comments) but...

 

Women have this fantasy too. I know at least I do. The issue is I know from experience it's going to lead to crap sex. Having sex with someone I'm emotionally and sexually connected to who knows my body is so much better.

 

The reality of the situation doesn't measure up to the fantasy. There are a ton of porn scenarios that would do the same thing for me. Hot when I watch it but IRL I would hate them.

[blackcat777]

Commitment is a choice: it is about you proactively choosing to shut down any potential situations before you are engulfed by "temptation," whatever that is.

 

If you don't want to stick to your word, don't commit to someone!

 

I see some serious hotties now and again. It happens. But my boyfriend is a hottie, he's smart, he's driven, and he'd move mountains for me. He makes me so happy.

 

When guys flirt, I don't acknowledge it, and politely deflect. If they persist, I consistently bring up something about my boyfriend until they get the hint.

 

It's a choice... It's about choosing how to carry yourself and how much respect you want to show your partner.

 

I deleted a bunch of guys on Facebook: reasons included they flirted with me (before my relationship), they were ex boyfriends, or I at one point had a crush on them (before boyfriend). It's all about not putting yourself into any kind of drama-inviting situations. The power is in your hands.

[samantha_t85]

Nope. Been with my husband for about 6 years now, married for 2.5. So far I have never felt even remotely tempted. I don't put myself in precarious situations…but even if I did, it's very rare that I see a man (in real life) who I find as attractive as my husband.

 

My wildest fantasies involve my spouse. I can't imagine opening up and getting freaky with someone I don't adore and trust to that level.

 

Cheating just holds no appeal for me. I'm not saying I'm without fault, but that I'm without temptation. Getting naked with someone else seems like a downgrade.

 

Yes, this, exactly!

Edited January 29, 2016 by samantha_t85