joystickd Posted January 26, 2016 Share Posted January 26, 2016 Last year I got diagnosed and since then its been a downward spiral. I spent most of my life struggling and didn't know why. Im just a socially awkward person to add on to that. Now that I know what it is I'm just troubled. I'm married and things I do which are unintentional seem intentional to my wife. I try to explain that I want to do things but its hard for me mentally. It bothers her that I have a don't care attitude about things. I do it so I won't feel so stressed out. Im just a mess. I take meds for it. I just recently moved and been having time to think and its just been hell having that time because now I just worry more and more. What do I do? Link to post Share on other sites
dreamingoftigers Posted January 26, 2016 Share Posted January 26, 2016 Last year I got diagnosed and since then its been a downward spiral. I spent most of my life struggling and didn't know why. Im just a socially awkward person to add on to that. Now that I know what it is I'm just troubled. I'm married and things I do which are unintentional seem intentional to my wife. I try to explain that I want to do things but its hard for me mentally. It bothers her that I have a don't care attitude about things. I do it so I won't feel so stressed out. Im just a mess. I take meds for it. I just recently moved and been having time to think and its just been hell having that time because now I just worry more and more. What do I do? Hi, I am married to a man with ADHD and my daughter was just diagnosed with it last week. Meds do make a difference. My husband responded best to the NON-stimulant. I think it was called Vyvanse or Stratera. I can't remember which of the two. Dexedrine is a bit of a roller-coaster. Ritalin is really spikey too, and Adderall is easily abused. I am so sorry to hear how stressed you are. Over time, your diagnosis won't be a "big deal" and it will normalize. Even though it sounds harsh now, it is actually a good thing to finally be able to pinpoint it. Have you thought of trying MC? I know as a spouse that it can be super-hard to deal with. My husband used to be a wreck under stress, just very flippant. He couldn't empathize at all. And the impulsive choices made me smack my head. The wife says, "Honey will you take out the trash?" and the ADHD husband responds "Uh-huh." Three hours later the trash is still sitting there. The wife personalizes: "He's being oppositional," or "He never listens to me," and that makes her angry. A fight ensues. It will be the first of many. "Wives of ADHD men need to understand that the husband's level of attention to task is extremely shallow," says Weiss. "He is not behaving that way on purpose. But once she starts personalizing his behavior, the marriage is in trouble." There's "The Couple's Guide to Thriving with ADHD." That may help. Don't beat yourself up too badly. You didn't ask for it. And there can be certain advantages to it. Link to post Share on other sites
Lobouspo Posted January 26, 2016 Share Posted January 26, 2016 How are the meds working for you? I was diagnosed years ago, but have tried to march on without medication Link to post Share on other sites
BlueIris Posted January 26, 2016 Share Posted January 26, 2016 Maybe look into starting a meditation practice. There are many benefits and a few studies have shown benefit to people with ADHD, so it might be worth a try. Link to post Share on other sites
Author joystickd Posted January 27, 2016 Author Share Posted January 27, 2016 I started out taking Adderall but I would go onto rages. I punched a whole in a wall. I took Ritalin immediate release but it made me angry. I found a new psychiatrist and got put on Ritalin extended release. It seems to help. Link to post Share on other sites
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