Marc878 Posted February 13, 2016 Share Posted February 13, 2016 This marriage is not dead, not over, WW is not going anywhere yet. Post D day many WW's still fogged up still justifying what the did to themselves. So they say they still love the OM, they do not want to have sex with the BH, their feelings for the BH are gone. Yet as the WW's defog they realize what a POS the OM is, they redevelop feelings for their BH. The marriage recovers. This is exactly right. Spot on advice. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Marc878 Posted February 13, 2016 Share Posted February 13, 2016 If you haven't go full exposure to try and end the affair. His/her friends, family, work if needed. No chance unless OM are out of the picture Link to post Share on other sites
Author M1ke12 Posted February 16, 2016 Author Share Posted February 16, 2016 Its over. Because all that has transpired she is afraid of court and she is basically giving me almost everything. Waiting on our paperwork so we can submit it to the county. It should arrive today. So this is weird. I feel SOOOOOOO much better. At least there is no limbo and I know that I can walk away knowing I poured everything in to it. I am trying to get the car insurance changed over ASAP. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Mrs. John Adams Posted February 16, 2016 Share Posted February 16, 2016 Mike....while I know this is not what you thought you wanted....it is most likely the best thing for you. She has done the right thing...she knows what she did...and she is walking away. Maybe sometime down the road...after she pulls herself together...and you both have time to heal....you can build a friendship. I don't think she is a bad person....she is a troubled person. Let's hope she gets all the help she needs. Good luck to you....stay strong and be happy. You deserve peace. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Jersey born raised Posted February 16, 2016 Share Posted February 16, 2016 What did you want ? Do you have primary custody of the children still at home? Are you retaining the home ? Asset division 50/50. 70/30 ? You got what you think is fair, would you have gotten more if you went to court? The subject of her being in a fog has been touched on here, but I've seen BS in a fog as well. Take care. Link to post Share on other sites
JamesM Posted February 17, 2016 Share Posted February 17, 2016 Wow. I did NOT expect that. I will be thinking of you in these difficult times. It may be all for the best. And expect that she may want to get together again too. My guess is that the roller coaster ride is not yet over. Hang in there. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author M1ke12 Posted October 18, 2016 Author Share Posted October 18, 2016 Hey all! It has been awhile. The divorce was final in March. Things are pretty good really. New girlfriend is awesome. She leaves me little doubt that she loves me though I do have a hard time believing it. I am pretty insecure. I imagine that it is fallout from the divorce at play. The thing I have going for me is that she knows my history and seems willing to work with me. Anyway I am now on this forum asking for advice on another level. Thanks to all that contributed to my recovery! It isn't total recovery yet but it hasnt even been a year . 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Mr. Lucky Posted October 18, 2016 Share Posted October 18, 2016 And expect that she may want to get together again too. Mike, has your wife tried to see if there's been any thaw in your position? Mr. Lucky Link to post Share on other sites
Author M1ke12 Posted October 18, 2016 Author Share Posted October 18, 2016 Mike, has your wife tried to see if there's been any thaw in your position? Mr. Lucky No she hasn't. I'm very happy now anyway so it doesn't matter. There was so much missing from that relationship anyway... it lacked depth and understanding. We should have just been friends. I was young and didn't understand what a relationship should be when I got married. The only reason I know now is because it all present in the new relationship so it's become clear. Now if I can just conquer this insecurity! I read through all my posts and I'm in such a different place now. I don't want her back. In my case the grass was greener. And if the new relationship doesn't work? At least I will have a clear understanding of what a relationship should be. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
Cephalopod Posted October 18, 2016 Share Posted October 18, 2016 Mike I'm happy for you. Was there any indication from your ex that she was truly remorseful and sorry for what she put you through? And don't sweat the sexual compatibility stuff. Your ex just fed you that line to get you to file for divorce. She wanted out but didn't have the guts to pull the switch herself so she told you what she knew would push you over the edge. I am sure that for much of your marriage she and you were very compatible. She just got it in her head to cheat. She did it because she wanted to and because she felt she deserved to. It had nothing to do with you. She could have ended the marriage gracefully, without cheating, but she chose to show you and the world her true character: weak. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Jersey born raised Posted October 19, 2016 Share Posted October 19, 2016 Wow, I am very glad for you. When a poster disappears like you do I become a little melancholy for them as I can't help but think they have given up on life. So what has happen in the last ten months or so? Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts