Dumped over someone else

[YWGMan]

I was in a 2 and a half years relationship LDR. I live in Canada and he lives in USA, We came out as gays to our families because we were so in love and had the courage to do it, he broke up with me personally on my last day when I came to visit him and his family for the American thanksgiving. At first he told me that it is not working for us anymore, I asked him more questions while I was emotionally wrecked crying hysterically begging and pleading at that moment (regretting talk about self respect and dignity).

 

He eventually told me that he met someone that lives in the same city. I was devastated and up to now I am still hurting. I found out that he was seeing him for about a month or so and he never told me. I felt like he used me while he is testing the waters with the new guy. Then when he felt like that it is time to let me go. He dumped me. Betrayal is the worst and I trusted him so much. I didn't see any warnings or red flags. LDR is hard. Why is he so selfish? I cry everyday on why he treated me like this way. I have been very loyal and honest to him. If he was not happy he could have communicated it with me. I love and still care about him so much that is why I am hurting so much. He sent me messages many times and he greeted me for Christmas and NY but I just can't talk to him (No contact),

 

I know he is being sincere with what he said in the message but he is clearly telling me that he is not open for any reconciliation. (No ulterior motives that he clearly indicated - Crumbs?) we are still friends on social media I just recently got back after a social media detox to help me heal and then saw his Instagram posts going on travels with the new man and him liking posts of his new Man makes my stomach turn upside down and feeling the pain all over again. He wanted us to be friends but how can I be friends with a person who is uncommunicative and cannot be trusted? Should I completely sever ties with him? I think being connected in social media it is just prolonging my healing.

 

I also tend to cyber stalk his new guy and found out that he drives (not sure if he owns em) luxury cars and it looks like he is doing good. I mean i have a job that I like it helps pay my bills, finished school and all that I felt like I'm still small and low not enough for him and I could never compete with this new guy that he is seeing. I am not really hoping to reconcile with him I just felt like I truly didn't know who I was in love with with for the past 3 years of being together (he is materialistic and he value luxury over other things).

 

I was so willing and able to give up everything job, family and friends my whole life) in Canada to be with him but the only way too is for us to get married, i also think that he is not ready for that chapter, because i really thought that we will be together. We made a lot of future plans together and now I am stuck alone do not know which way to go. It has been a very hard battle but I am still here surviving. I hope my story is making sense.

 

My question is should I answer his messages or just completely forget about him and sever ties forever. And how about social media??? Will i get better or completely hurting for the long time while i have him as my friend.

 

YWGman

Edited January 28, 2016 by YWGMan