"Going the distance"

[sophiestic]

...So this starts quite cinematographically: It was summer. We were on the same ship but with different destinations. I was alone and he was travelling with his brother. I went on the deck to watch the sunset and he was standing next to me. I hadn't seen him. He said "It's great here, isn't it?" and I said "Yes, indeed." ["...Ooops he's going to hit on me now...", I whispered to myself. I wasn't in the mood because I had some unlucky dates back then] Anyway, we started talking... He is greek - like me - but he currently lives in NY working at a hospital in order to complete his fellowship. He will come back to Athens in 3 years. :o

...As the months went by, we kept talking on Fb and Skype. He came to Athens at Christmas for 5 days to see some friends but he wanted to meet me every day! We went everywhere in the city! He liked the sun, the heat and being with me (he told me so) The last day we ended up having drinks on a rooftop and then he told me to stay at his hotel room without having sex if I don't want to. He said that there are also other things we can do. I liked the fact that he didn't force me. It was the best night I ever had! [yes, we had sex after all] He told me that he doesn't remember the last time he had sex and that it must have been a year or so. [should I believe him?]

...And then the dream was over. We went to the airport and said goodbye... He said that he will treasure our moments and he hugged me very tightly! He has told me to visit him in NY and that I am welcome to stay as long as I want. I am planning to go at Easter for 10 days because I won't be working then. However:

1) What if things change and we find other romantic interests?

2) What if he does the same he does with me to other women he meets?

3) He will be working from 7am - 7pm six days/ week, so what am I going to do during the day in a foreign city? I am a bit afraid but we have to be brave and take risks, huh..? Any opinions?

[LydiaLong]

Life is full of chances. It's possible that he does this with other women, but you'll never know until you get to know him. What are you going to do all day by yourself in a foreign city?? Are you serious? I've been to Europe twice by myself and also Alaska. Find things to do. Museums, historical sites, etc.

 

If you find someone else in the meantime, that's life. He'll understand.

[sophiestic]

You 're right Lydia! Thank you for your opinion!

[loveweary11]

...So this starts quite cinematographically: It was summer. We were on the same ship but with different destinations. I was alone and he was travelling with his brother. I went on the deck to watch the sunset and he was standing next to me. I hadn't seen him. He said "It's great here, isn't it?" and I said "Yes, indeed." ["...Ooops he's going to hit on me now...", I whispered to myself. I wasn't in the mood because I had some unlucky dates back then] Anyway, we started talking... He is greek - like me - but he currently lives in NY working at a hospital in order to complete his fellowship. He will come back to Athens in 3 years. :o

...As the months went by, we kept talking on Fb and Skype. He came to Athens at Christmas for 5 days to see some friends but he wanted to meet me every day! We went everywhere in the city! He liked the sun, the heat and being with me (he told me so) The last day we ended up having drinks on a rooftop and then he told me to stay at his hotel room without having sex if I don't want to. He said that there are also other things we can do. I liked the fact that he didn't force me. It was the best night I ever had! [yes, we had sex after all] He told me that he doesn't remember the last time he had sex and that it must have been a year or so. [should I believe him?]

...And then the dream was over. We went to the airport and said goodbye... He said that he will treasure our moments and he hugged me very tightly! He has told me to visit him in NY and that I am welcome to stay as long as I want. I am planning to go at Easter for 10 days because I won't be working then. However:

1) What if things change and we find other romantic interests?

2) What if he does the same he does with me to other women he meets?

3) He will be working from 7am - 7pm six days/ week, so what am I going to do during the day in a foreign city? I am a bit afraid but we have to be brave and take risks, huh..? Any opinions?

 

You are worrying too much.

 

You have met a gentleman (more than a man or guy) that you enjoy spending time with. He may meet another girl. You may meet another guy. You also may get married and spend your lives together, but you won't know until you try...

 

How can I tell you worry about things needlessly?

 

You just said you will be in NYC from 7am-7pm alone and you are worried there is nothing to do... In New York City!! :lmao:

 

There is more to do in Manhattan alone than you could experience in a year of living there full time.

 

Stop worrying about the "what ifs" and stary living.

[Popsicle]

You said you were already going there for 10 days (without him inviting you) so hey does it matter what he is doing? You shouldnt go just for him without him inviting you.

Edited January 28, 2016 by Popsicle

[TMichaels]

You are worrying too much.

 

You just said you will be in NYC from 7am-7pm alone and you are worried there is nothing to do... In New York City!! :lmao:

 

There is more to do in Manhattan alone than you could experience in a year of living there full time.

 

While I agree with the above, on the other hand, it would be nice if this guy might think about the fact you will be on your own for considerable stretches of time in one of the biggest, brightest, and busiest cities in the world that you've never visited before. Certainly he can remember how exciting yet mind-boggling it was for him when he visited/arrived.

 

My point is, it's too bad he hasn't already thought about introducing you to/arranging for a good friend, sister, etc. to play "tour guide" for part of your stay while he is otherwise engaged. Perhaps he hasn't suggested it because he thinks you might be "offended" (as in he's concerned you might he's implying you're a helpless female and can't take of yourself), or he just hasn't thought it through from a female alone/first time in New York perspective.

 

However, if you are truly apprehensive and anxious about tackling the Big Apple by yourself, I'd let him know that in such a way that he can step up to the plate and play gracious host. If he doesn't, that in itself is telling about his true character.

 

I know, I know. You had a fairy-tale first meeting and a dreamy second, but this time he (and you) will be on *his home turf.* You need to keep in mind, this will be the third time you two have spent time together -- in many ways, this visit is really ONLY your THIRD date.

 

Toward that end, before you go, you might want to give some thought about what you'll do if things go south while you're there? I assume from what you wrote, you'll be staying at his place. Ten days is a long time to visit anyone/anytime -- even longer if/when things aren't quite as idyllic as anticipated.

 

Might be a good idea to think about what you'd do in that case and have a "Plan B" already thought out as in you know you will book a room at a hotel and stay there for the rest of your trip as opposed to being caught short money-wise or feeling panicked about what to do since you know no one and have never visited the city before.

 

Finally, though I've suggested it would be nice if this guy would recognize NYC is a big town to bite off on your own the first time and provide some assistance, don't go on this trip without doing your own homework. Get a guidebook, Google online, ask friends/others you know that have been there and come up with a list of "must see's/do's."

 

You never know -- this could be your one and only trip to New York for any number of reasons. Can you imagine how disappointed and regretful you'll be later if you see/do nothing while you're there?

 

IOW, DO NOT spend the entire 10 days of your visit sitting in his apartment all day while he's at work/class or wherever, waiting for him to get home. Get out, experience NYC. If there's some place that you would like to see *with* him, save that for a Saturday or Sunday when he probably doesn't work or have class anyway. But otherwise, get out and see the sights, go shopping, etc. If he has/gets a lunch break, arrange to meet him for lunch a couple of days, etc. BUT DON'T SIT ALONE IN HIS PLACE BY YOURSELF ALL DAY!

 

Hope this helps. Keep us posted how things go. Good luck and have a great time!

 

Best,

TMichaels

[sophiestic]

Thank you guys, really! TMichaels you're right. I am afraid of moving around the city alone but I guess it's the adventure I 've always wanted since I was a kid! I have to take a leap of faith and try this! I also have to prepare a plan B because - well- you never know!

[loveweary11]

If he falls through, I love showing people all the best spots in Manhattan and Brooklyn.

 

Feel free to pm me about it.

 

I have a billion female friends there who are your age. Cool chicks. I could introduce you.

 

So, it is not a cold city. You are already making friends.

 

PS: It is as safe as Disneyland if you stay below 96th street in Manhattan. It is not a dangerous city.

Edited January 29, 2016 by loveweary11

[sophiestic]

thank you very much, loveweary11! I'll let you know if things turn out badly.

[sophiestic]

Hey again! I hope you remember my story. I need your opinion about sth. We keep communicating on fb/skype. Our feelings haven't changed. The other day, he told me that he had gone to the swimming pool for a swim and he told me: "I don't know if you saw a photo.." and I told him "No, I haven't." Anyway I searched and found a photo of him with an old classmate of his (a woman) by the swimming pool. I pressed the "like" button to show him that I saw it. And then he uploaded two more: in the first they are drinking tea and in the second he is alone but probably she is taking the photo.

If you were in my shoes, what would you do?

I am not going to show any jealousy because he is going to hide things from me.

If there was sth romantic between them, would he post photos for everyone to see? [We have also taken photos but he hasn't posted any] I am getting crazy here!!!