Husband is getting very fit, now I feel self-conscious.

[samantha_t85]

I'll preface this by saying that my husband and I have an excellent relationship! We are partners in every sense of the word. We share many interests and hobbies, we communicate openly and constructively, and we have a great sex life.

 

Over the past few months, my husband has really stepped up his workout routine. We have both always been at least moderately active - we like to bike, golf, walk, hike, etc. together. He has always been the type to work out at least a few times a week (we have a home gym), but for the past few months he's been at it 6 days a week! He's doing more weight-lifting now and I must say he's looking ridiculously handsome. I can't keep my hands off of him!

 

This leaves me a bit self-conscious, though. I have always had a naturally smaller frame. I also eat very healthily and almost always cook healthy meals from scratch. And while I'm an active person through my hobbies, I really don't do much working out. I'm 5'8" and the most I've ever weighed is about 120lbs. When I look in the mirror, I feel pretty good! I'm not "skinny fat"…but I also don't have the super hard, toned body that fitness models have. I went to the My Body Gallery and entered all my info and this woman's body pretty closely resembles mine: Welcome - What Real Women Look Like

 

So I guess my question is, should I be worried that he might not be as attracted to me now? If you're a guy who's into fitness, do you also want your partner to be into fitness? As I've mentioned, health and staying active is important to me, but I'm not in the gym pumping iron. Would this be a turn-off for you? I hate lifting weights so I'm really hoping it's not something I need to take up! But I want to keep my husband happy, too.

 

Thanks for reading!

[redtail]

I work out six days a week, I too have a home gym that I enjoy using. I do it for me. I love my wife very much, she is her own person and I in no way assume she should change her routine in some way to "keep up with me" or to meet an unsaid expectation due to my routine.

 

She is beautiful, the same person I married and fell in love with, and I adore her as she is.

[samantha_t85]

I work out six days a week, I too have a home gym that I enjoy using. I do it for me. I love my wife very much, she is her own person and I in no way assume she should change her routine in some way to "keep up with me" or to meet an unsaid expectation due to my routine.

 

She is beautiful, the same person I married and fell in love with, and I adore her as she is.

 

That's great to hear, thanks for sharing :)

[stillafool]

OP, if you look like the picture you look fine to me. However, you know your husband better than us so will he be okay with your body the way it is now or would he prefer that you are more toned? We can't answer that.

[TX-SC]

You can't keep your hands off of him? Then don't keep your hands off of him.

 

Problem solved.

 

Seriously, he's going to be happy that you notice and like the change. You don't need to change at all. Continue to be a wonderful wife and he will be a happy and good husband.

[samantha_t85]

OP, if you look like the picture you look fine to me. However, you know your husband better than us so will he be okay with your body the way it is now or would he prefer that you are more toned? We can't answer that.

 

I know. I guess I was just looking for opinions from others because I have asked my husband about it, and he just gushes about how beautiful he thinks I am. He is such a good man though, I fear he would say that even if deep down he thought differently!

[dichotomy]

OP, if you look like the picture you look fine to me. .

 

 

I would say very fine. (no offense)

[MightyPen]

I would second the "very fine" comment. (I will also second the "no offense" part).

 

 

I do think it's helpful with both partners have similar levels of health/fitness, etc. It sounds like you stay active and just stay in shape in a different way than your husband. And I'm guessing he won't keep the "six days a week" thing going forever. He'll back off at bit at some point. It's not sustainable for most people (with jobs, kids, etc.). Some pull it off though.

[dichotomy]

By the way thats in interesting body website - they have a tab for guys too. Hard to find anyone close to me but I kind of did

 

Why don't you find one example for your husband for us ?

[samantha_t85]

I would second the "very fine" comment. (I will also second the "no offense" part).

 

 

I do think it's helpful with both partners have similar levels of health/fitness, etc. It sounds like you stay active and just stay in shape in a different way than your husband. And I'm guessing he won't keep the "six days a week" thing going forever. He'll back off at bit at some point. It's not sustainable for most people (with jobs, kids, etc.). Some pull it off though.

 

We don't have kids, and don't plan to, so it leaves us lots of time for personal hobbies. Usually he works out while I'm getting dinner ready. He likes to work out and I like to cook - it's actually a pretty good routine! But you're right, he might scale it back a bit at some point, and I find him very attractive either way, so I suppose I should assume that he feels the same way about me.

[samantha_t85]

By the way thats in interesting body website - they have a tab for guys too. Hard to find anyone close to me but I kind of did

 

Why don't you find one example for your husband for us ?

 

Wow, the one for men must be pretty new because it's very limited! I entered his height and weight (6'4" 195lbs), left all other fields blank, and it came back with nothing!

 

I even tried similarly proportional heights and weights and really couldn't find anything. He is beginning to have some visible abs, but not a perfectly chiseled 6-pack. Trim waist and muscular arms. He's dreamy. :love:

Edited January 28, 2016 by samantha_t85

[dichotomy]

Wow, the one for men must be pretty new because it's very limited! I entered his height and weight (6'4" 195lbs), left all other fields blank, and it came back with nothing!

 

I even tried similarly proportional heights and weights and really couldn't find anything. He is beginning to have some visible abs, but not a perfectly chiseled 6-pack (which I kind of prefer actually). Trim waist and muscular arms. He's dreamy. :love:

 

Good for you. That is VERY trim for his height.

 

Yes I had issues finding tall somewhat muscular builds for my own reference on the guys tab of that website. Found one that was close, but guys over 6 foot are still somewhat small percentage of population. 6-4 is very rare.

 

You have nothing to worry about with your figure.

Edited January 28, 2016 by dichotomy

[Satu]

You look beautiful.

 

'Nuff said

[loveweary11]

Your husband found you hot/attractive/awesome when he met/married you.

 

 

No amount of him working out will change his taste in women.

 

It's a problem you are creating for yourself.

[MightyPen]

Your husband found you hot/attractive/awesome when he met/married you.

 

 

No amount of him working out will change his taste in women.

 

It's a problem you are creating for yourself.

 

Well, I don't know that I would go that far.

 

When spouses "let themselves go" and get fat, it CAN reduce the attraction that the other spouse feels for him/her. It happens all the time, and it's hardly to be unexpected. (We have to "keep it real" here).

 

That being said, that is obviously not the OP's situation as she's described herself as slim, healthy and active.

[loveweary11]

Well, I don't know that I would go that far.

 

When spouses "let themselves go" and get fat, it CAN reduce the attraction that the other spouse feels for him/her. It happens all the time, and it's hardly to be unexpected. (We have to "keep it real" here).

 

That being said, that is obviously not the OP's situation as she's described herself as slim, healthy and active.

 

 

 

I said, no amout of him working out will change his taste in women.

 

That statement says nothing about her changing.

 

I'm assuming she hasn't.

[GunslingerRoland]

You have a healthy body and you are pretty active. Hardly sounds like an incompatibility.

 

 

If you were 200 pounds and a couch potato I could see it, but I think you are overreacting.

[T-16bullseyeWompRat]

Yeah the girl in that pic is hot! I could go for a little bit thicker personally. Maybe add about 15-20lbs and that's what I like anyway.

 

My wife feels a little self conscious in the winter when she isn't in "bikini shape" but I personally like it!! I like a little jiggle here and there. Super sexy to me. She looks hot as hell in bikini shape too! Lucky me

[samantha_t85]

Yeah the girl in that pic is hot! I could go for a little bit thicker personally. Maybe add about 15-20lbs and that's what I like anyway.

 

My wife feels a little self conscious in the winter when she isn't in "bikini shape" but I personally like it!! I like a little jiggle here and there. Super sexy to me. She looks hot as hell in bikini shape too! Lucky me

 

I have been this size my entire adult life and wouldn't feel comfortable putting on that much weight. I know many men prefer "curvier" women but that has just never been my natural shape so no sense in beating myself up over it. Thankfully my husband likes slender shapes…or at least I'm assuming he does, since he picked me!

[stillafool]

I know. I guess I was just looking for opinions from others because I have asked my husband about it, and he just gushes about how beautiful he thinks I am. He is such a good man though, I fear he would say that even if deep down he thought differently!

 

If he gushes he is serious about how attracted he is to you. No worries that I see.

[loveweary11]

I have been this size my entire adult life and wouldn't feel comfortable putting on that much weight. I know many men prefer "curvier" women but that has just never been my natural shape so no sense in beating myself up over it. Thankfully my husband likes slender shapes…or at least I'm assuming he does, since he picked me!

 

Thank god!

 

Good for you for keeping your natural shape and not trying to gain weight to be "curvy."

 

The majority of guys are not attracted to that, despite what the media tries to brain wash you into thinking.

 

My Fat Barbie thread is about the same topic.

 

Keep on being you. Your natural body type in the pic is far hotter than "curvy."

Edited January 28, 2016 by loveweary11

[T-16bullseyeWompRat]

I have been this size my entire adult life and wouldn't feel comfortable putting on that much weight. I know many men prefer "curvier" women but that has just never been my natural shape so no sense in beating myself up over it. Thankfully my husband likes slender shapes…or at least I'm assuming he does, since he picked me!

 

No no, don't get me wrong. The woman in that pick is hot!! If that is your body type, that's hot to me. I just like a little extra when its there. My wife is 5'5" 110lbs. She might get to 120 during the fall and winter, then gets back to her "bikini shape". I like both is what I'm saying. When she gets toned and slimmed down again, still hot. But I like the little booty weight she puts on in the Winter. Just saying there isnt really a specific weight or tone that is a must for men. Women can be sexy as hell, all shapes and sizes. I've seen some damn fine women that could drive me crazy that were maybe 20-30lbs overweight.

 

I know this sounds bad, but its kinda like having a different woman when she is a little thicker. Or cuts her hair a different way then normal or dying her hair a different color. It's hot! Don't be self conscious over this.

 

 

I honestly thought this thread was going to be about how he is working out more and you thought it was because of another woman he's interested in was causing it. Just reading the title, I thought that. If you are worried about 10lbs, don't! He gushes over you because he thinks you are hot as hell. I often say how people must look at us funny cause such an ugly guy landed such a damn fine girl! I'm guessing I'm not in the minority in this thought process.

[samantha_t85]

No no, don't get me wrong. The woman in that pick is hot!! If that is your body type, that's hot to me. I just like a little extra when its there. My wife is 5'5" 110lbs. She might get to 120 during the fall and winter, then gets back to her "bikini shape". I like both is what I'm saying. When she gets toned and slimmed down again, still hot. But I like the little booty weight she puts on in the Winter. Just saying there isnt really a specific weight or tone that is a must for men. Women can be sexy as hell, all shapes and sizes. I've seen some damn fine women that could drive me crazy that were maybe 20-30lbs overweight.

 

I know this sounds bad, but its kinda like having a different woman when she is a little thicker. Or cuts her hair a different way then normal or dying her hair a different color. It's hot! Don't be self conscious over this.

 

I understand! Thanks for the explanation.

 

I honestly thought this thread was going to be about how he is working out more and you thought it was because of another woman he's interested in was causing it. Just reading the title, I thought that.

 

Haha! Thankfully, that is not among my worries! I think the positive feedback I've given him motivates him a bit…we also have a caribbean vacation coming up, so I know he wants to be in tip top beach shape.

[The D Train]

5-8 and 120 lbs is friggin awesome. That pic is a smoke show body.

 

 

I began working out 2 years ago that was partially motivated by ulterior motives and after a while I just became addicted to working out and now work out 6 days a week. I would just ask him what is motivating him and then ask follow up questions to see if it makes sense.

[underpants]

He could be gay or bi?

 

Not that there is anything wrong with that.

 

Good luck.