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Any chance of second chance?


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I dated this guy for 5 months, I know it's short but I do like him so much. We didn't get to the "love" stage yet before things started to go downhill.

 

We started to have a lot of arguments over small things. Usually I felt insecure about him and his female friends who he had once feelings for or have had hooked up once in the past. He tried to cut down on talking to them when he was with me but he was unhappy about it and felt like walking on a eggshell.

 

Then one day we had another argument and he told me he wasn't sure about our relationship and he's in the middle of break up and work on us. This talk happened three times at least before the official breakup and it made me so insecure, sad, mad, confused, and paranoid. He was trying to get his feelings back but I acted on my emotion and pushed him further away by questioning his feelings which led to arguments.

 

At the end he got tired of it and he thought I wasn't appreciating the fact that he was trying instead of giving up and said he can't do it anymore. When we talked a few days after when I went to pick up my stuff, I apologized and told him I couldn't say "Thank you for trying."or "I know you are trying." which he told me was all he wanted. I told him how i felt I didn't want to give up but his mind was already made up.

 

I said "I want to learn from our relationship and I hope you can give us another chance for me to show you that I can change." and he said "First we need some time apart. And we can try to be friends." and I asked him if there will be ever a chance, he said "I don't think I want to get back in foreseeable future, and I usually don't go back to a relationship that ended for this kind of reason. But I need to think." so I said "okay." and I left his place.

 

We ended on good terms, neither of us are mad (as far as on the surface) and agreed to not to talk for a while for each other's sake. Today is only one day since that, but I really want him to give us another chance. What do you guys think? Anything hope that I can try with him again?

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Marco Valerio

The idea I get from your story is like if you were trying to revive a dead body. It doesn't seem to me that your relationship was working well enough. Any relationship requires sacrifices and lots of work, were you getting that from him? And were you doing it yourself?

I don't believe he was committed enough on your relationship. What about you?

 

Sometimes we force ourselves to be in a relationship that's not working.

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I'm pretty sure he was and I believe he is that kind of person, and I always commit to any relationship and that's just how I am which kind of a problem cause I commit too soon people tell me. But I just didn't see why it was so important to talk to them or snapchat them when he was with me. I mean he didn't do it all the time when he was around me, but it probably was only because I didn't like it and he wasn't happy about it...And how he kinda got angry and protective of those female friends when I told him I was uncomfortable about it made me a bit defensive. And after he started to get distant I couldn't give myself 100% anymore because I didn't want to get rejected or give my all who was not sure of his feelings for me :( but all he wanted was for me to give him time and be there for me and thank him for trying for us which I couldn't...so obviously I failed :(

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