Donburi Posted June 8, 2005 Share Posted June 8, 2005 Hmm... what does it mean when an ex says "they don't want to date anybody else?" Weird situation. Ex-bf and I are on a break/breakup. We have been recently learning that our group of friends doesn't know how to keep their mouths shut on info they recieve. Some of them started some serious crap a while back. The other day, I hear from certain people (we broke up because he caught his best friend makin' moves on me to which I did not stop right away, his best friend told me this info) that my ex is pursuing a girl. This nearly destroyed me! I mean, yeah, I didn't have the right to be upset, we aren't dating at the moment but my ex CLEARLY said he wouldn't do anything like that w/o making SURE it was completely, 100% over for us. Well, this leads me to talk to him about it. He denies it, and almost sounding like it was rehearsed (keep in mind that I'm a paranoid idiot! But aren't we all?) told me what he did that evening. It eased my mind a bit but I was still left wondering. Then the next day he calls to tell me he had set the whole thing up, he wanted to see how people dealt with that info and how quickly that info spread. He was expecting that people (he mostly wanted to see if his ex best friend was still in contact with me) weren't able to keep their mouth shut and the information reached me almost that same day. He reassured me that he wasn't interested in dating anybody else and even if he were, he would tell me. I was happy to hear that but later on I began to wonder again. Why didn't he just tell me this when I first called him to question it?? At the time I didn't really question it but now its driving me crazy! I haven't talked to him since (about two days ago) because we are supposed to be doing NC/LC right now. Does this sound like an understandable thing to do? I'm guessing he mostly did it to see if his ex-best friend and I were still talking, which we aren't really. Out of every 50 calls he makes I answer about two or three, and only because when he has something urgent to tell me. EX - for this situation he left ALOT of text messages saying "please just answer for a second, I have something REALLY important to tell you!!" Grrr...why did I answer?! I'm scared that maybe my ex-bf IS seeing someone else, and since the info got out, and he doesn't want me to know, he tried to cover it up. I really have no clue, though! I don't know how men think. I'm sure every gf says this about her guy but he really isn't like most men. I don't think he would do something this cowardly...but again, people can change after being betrayed. ARGHH!! I'm so confused... Link to post Share on other sites
Author Donburi Posted June 8, 2005 Author Share Posted June 8, 2005 Not sure if anyone read this, but just to update... My ex-bf is leaving for Japan tomorrow, for almost a month. He surprised me this morning by asking me if I wanted to go have lunch with him. Unable to hide my excitement, I happily agreed. Of course, on the way there, being the paranoid, insecure gal I am, I started thinkin' crazy thoughts. "Is he gonna take me back? Is he gonna tell me its over for good? Did he meet someone? What should I order? Am I even hungry? etc.." lol. I guess it went ok. We didn't really touch the subject of US at all, mostly chit chatted. Regrettably (um, is that a word?) I did bring it up once or twice. In my other post (look above!) I mentioned that he told me he said "he didn't want to date anybody else." Well, I asked him about that today (stupid stupid stupid!) and he was silent for a moment, and then said "I don't want to be with ANYBODY." Well, there goes my hope. But once again, he reassured me that once he knows if he wants to date me again OR if its completely over between us then he'll tell me. We parted ways, it was kind of awkward, we didn't really know how to say bye to eachother. He said he would write me emails while he was out there. Selfish, I know, but I was hoping to come out of this lunch "date" with some news, good or bad. I really don't understand. If you've been in this situation (perfereably his shoes) does time REALLY help decide what you want?? Is it possible that he really doesn't know what he wants right now? Why would time make you realize something? If anything, I think time would make you forget about that person and move on...How long does it take to weigh your options and decide what would be best? Has any of you broke up with someone and with time decided "no, wait a minute, I love him/her! What am I doing?" I guess I just can't comprehend that. I believe you would just know these things, and know how you felt about things right off the bat. I've had alot of time to think about things as well (we broke up a month ago) and I still feel the same. I still want to be with him, I haven't had any thoughts that doubted that.But I guess being on the side I'm on, its alot different... TELL ME YOUR STORIES, PLEASE! How has time benefited your relationships??? Link to post Share on other sites
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