Stereotypical11 Posted January 30, 2016 Share Posted January 30, 2016 (edited) So we've worked together closely for nearly a year, there is definatly chemistry and he initiated the messaging as we continued to sext be failed to mention he had a girlfriend. This continued for several months where he would get jealous over me talking to other guys, up until the Christmas party where I had a hotel room we both got extremely drunk and he ended up coming back to my hotel room, we talked about a work affair he'd previously had cheating on his current partner which he didn't tell me I found out from other colleuges. We didn't sleep together he told me how much he loved his partner and he was going to get engaged as he undressed me, we kissed then he put me to bed and left. He even missed his train and had to spend a lot of money on a taxi home. Ever since it has been awkward between us and he acts differently, yesterday I found out he got engaged over Christmas. But he still gets jealous over me with other guys I've told him how I feel but he just avoids the subject or doesn't reply. I know I'm in the wrong as he has a partner but it's not just sexual. Any advice would be great thanks. Edited January 30, 2016 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Four threads merged into GRD and paragraphs added and member moderated 1 Link to post Share on other sites
CarrieT Posted January 30, 2016 Share Posted January 30, 2016 Get a new job. Immediately. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
dreamingoftigers Posted January 30, 2016 Share Posted January 30, 2016 Stay away from this idiot. He's a user and cheater. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted January 30, 2016 Share Posted January 30, 2016 You are his "work fun" basically someone who makes work more interesting. Maybe he does feel jealousy when you give attention to another guy but it is not love. He has told you he loves his gf and proved it by getting engaged to her. He is still a jerk for what he has done to her so why do you see him as a prize? 5 Link to post Share on other sites
lemondrop21 Posted January 30, 2016 Share Posted January 30, 2016 We didn't sleep together he told me how much he loved his partner and he was going to get engaged as he undressed me, we kissed then he put me to bed and left. What on earth was he thinking? "It's ok to undress this other woman because I'm thinking and talking about my future fiancee as I do it?" That would have really creeped me out regardless of how drunk he was. He was probably a bit iffy about getting engaged and this was his weird way of acting out about it. I bet in his twisted mind, he's really pleased with himself because after all, he showed so much restraint by not sleeping with you.:roll eyes: It's a little unclear what sort of advice you want. I'm asking this seriously - do you actually want to be with this man? What is the most ideal ending to you? 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Satu Posted January 30, 2016 Share Posted January 30, 2016 Sometimes things end badly because it's the only way they can end. Find a new job and bestow your affections elsewhere. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Stereotypical11 Posted January 30, 2016 Author Share Posted January 30, 2016 It was as if he was holding back one minute he'd be on top of me the next saying he loved her, then he sat there and kept saying how amazing I am at my job, I'm beautiful and funny. I mean I kept trying to make a move I know i shouldn't have then hed talk about her. I was very drunk then he shut the curtains ect then we argued a little I told him to leave a few times and he didn't then we he thought I'd fell asleep he got up and left. I care about him I doubt he will leave her i just don't know what he was thinking or if he actually does care about me. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted January 30, 2016 Share Posted January 30, 2016 I would say he only cares about you as a work colleague that he knows has a huge ego boosting crush on him. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted January 30, 2016 Share Posted January 30, 2016 Sounds like a 'collector' to me. Some guys collect women and engage in differing levels of interaction with the collection. Some are spouses, some are lovers, some are fluffers, some are facilitators, some are step and fetch, some are platonic friends who orbit. The sentence which keyed me into the collector psychology was: We didn't sleep together he told me how much he loved his partner and he was going to get engaged as he undressed me, we kissed then he put me to bed and left. If you're OK with this milieu (some folks have fun with it), then continue. If other, discontinue. It's all voluntary. He's already signaled his perspective with his actions, the main one apparently becoming engaged to someone else. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Satu Posted January 30, 2016 Share Posted January 30, 2016 He's definitely a loose cannon. Make sure everything is firmly bolted to the deck... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Stereotypical11 Posted January 30, 2016 Author Share Posted January 30, 2016 Thank you for your comments Link to post Share on other sites
Author Stereotypical11 Posted January 31, 2016 Author Share Posted January 31, 2016 I think I should just ignore him but people are already suspicious something is going on, in the evironment we work in it is very hard not to talk. Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted January 31, 2016 Share Posted January 31, 2016 Be glad he didn't just sleep with you, but things did go too far. He obviously thinks enough of his fiancee to stop himself from sleeping with you or delaying things to see what's between you. But listen, he's still a guy. Guys are always tempted by other women, no matter what they tell you. I'm sure if he could make the rules, he'd have you and his fiancee and you'd live happily ever after recruiting more wives. But he knows this isn't the way it's going to go and made his choice. Respect it, and I'm sorry you're emotionally involved, but if you care about him, you'll make this easy for him by cutting things off and just being polite and professional. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts