wlh22 Posted January 31, 2016 Share Posted January 31, 2016 Hi all, I was dating this girl (long distance) for 6-7 months and we broke it up because of her seriousness of discussing a future together. We come from a traditional religion so its not uncommon to date a few months before talking about getting serious. After a few frustrating discussions her only response would be "I am not sure about committment" I was 32 and she was 25 so I was sort of forced to call it off as I was falling for me and started feeling like she may not be on the same page as me. After 3 months she reached back to me saying she missed me and made the biggest mistake of her letting me go and that she wanted to be with me for life. That was a bit too much for me to handle and I told her I need some time but we can start talking/dating/reconnecting. It almost seemed like the roles were reversed and she was pursuing me. She said "enjoy it". However, certainly it was very confusing for me... this I want to be with you and then disappear for 3 months and then build it back again... so I was holding back somewhere a bit. Things went really well for a few months until I moved back to her city (I was planning to move there anyways). The day we met, things were a bit awkward (as expected) as we were meeting after months and after a break. However, after that meeting I again felt she was going wishy-washy. Instead of giving me the confidence I needed she sort of disappeared without even breaking up with me. She avoided my calls for a few days. After a month of torture of silence, I finally called from a diff number and asked her what the heck she had done. Her reply was she know she screwed it up. But she just didn't feel it. In all of this .... my emotions have been messed up. Was it my fault for not opening up to her the second time? Did I not deal with it correctly? I mean I treated her all fine. Of course the second time wasn't the exact same romance like the first time... but I thought she would understand and give us time. So she dumped... disappeared... I know there is no one else and she told me that... but how can someone behave so abruptly. It has really impacted my self esteeem and I have been questioning a lot about myself. Has anyone been through something simliar and how do you deal with it? My friends have been very vocal - no matter what I did and may have done wrong... it is her issues of indecisiveness and not being truthful. I fell for this girl madly. and somewhere I blame myself for not opening up and accepting her 100% the second time. Link to post Share on other sites
foam12 Posted January 31, 2016 Share Posted January 31, 2016 Doesn't sound like she was emotionally vested the first time and because of that you were gun shy the second time. When you finally were ready the second time, you were probably a little too cold and that pushed her away from giving the second chance a shot. Timing sucks sometimes. 3 months was probably enough time for her to miss you and wouldn't doubt if she came back down the road again. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts