Do you expect your SO to update you where they go and when?

[Gabi]

Is it normal to expect my SO to keep me updated and text me where they go and what time they reach home or am I being too clingy? Sometimes she forgets to text me and I keep waiting for her as we normally facetime after work

[ExpatInItaly]

Yes, you're being too clingy. Nobody wants to feel like they're being controlled or monitored.

 

If you have plans to FaceTime and she can't make it, she should do the considerate thing and let you know, though. Just a thought, but perhaps she doesn't want to FaceTime every day after work? How do you react when she can't speak to you?

 

How old are you both, and have you met in person? How long have you been together?

[d0nnivain]

You are the person's SO, not jailer. It's over the top to expect your LDR to tell you their every move & what time they arrive home.

 

Asking somebody to let you know they got home safely is fine in inclement weather or say if you know they are tired, but beyond that it's invasive.

 

Just because we have the ability to stay connected 24/7 does not mean doing so is healthy or a good idea.

[anduina]

That's way too much information and too controlling.

 

We tee up our day so we can connect online or not and if we end up chatting about our day, that works too.

[basil67]

I would expect someone to tell me if their plans with me were to change. Ie; coming home later than usual - or in your case, not being available for a facetime call. It's rude to keep someone waiting.

 

Expecting more than this is too much and will probably result in being told nothing.

 

Edited to add: from a previous post, you said you're doing an hour or two of facetime....and you're running out of things to say. I'm not surprised! Sounds exhausting and really limiting on your individual lives. How about reducing it to 15mins?

Edited February 2, 2016 by basil67

[Gosh]

Expect or demand? No. I do find it kind of him though, especially in the beginning, that he did update me. We do update each other, just not because we force one another.

[justwhoiam]

Do you expect your SO to update you where they go and when?

Sure.

 

Is it normal to expect my SO to keep me updated and text me where they go and what time they reach home

I guess.

 

Sometimes she forgets to text me and I keep waiting for her as we normally facetime after work

Well, I guess that just a text with "hey, i'll be home late. i'll let you know when" would be nice.

[emi]

No you arent. You want something, you have the right to. But doesnt mean she feel that way too. You should ask her what she thinks about it.

My bf and i update each other usually. Not a biggie

[dreamingoftigers]

If I text my husband asking, "hey where are you at?" I do expect a fairly accurate response. So maybe I can pick him up or join him.

 

But I certainly don't want a daily play-by-play. (I can't imagine how many times one can text to a spouse "on couch, farting" anyhow).

 

Nor does he ask me my location in more than a general sense. Usually once in the day he will ask me how my day and/or work is going. I like this. It's sweet. Sometimes it feels a little overkill but I would rather he did it than not. Especially on days where work sucks, it distracts me from it for a moment.

 

I would find the expectation of a play-by-play of my day to be far far over the top.

[Qboro90]

Is it normal to expect my SO to keep me updated and text me where they go and what time they reach home or am I being too clingy? Sometimes she forgets to text me and I keep waiting for her as we normally facetime after work

 

What would you do if cell phones and texting didn't exist? If you lived in an earlier decade then do you think you'd even think about your SO updating you? I can assure you that you would not because it's not necessary to dating. The way you're acting and thinking about this with your gf is obsessive, irrational , and controlling.

 

Red flag if I was her and you kept bringing this up. First it's checking in about when she gets home... Then it's letting you know where she's going and who is gonna be there, then it's wanting to FaceTime so you know she's not lying about where she is, then it's throwing a fit if you don't like where shds gonna go or the people she is hanging out with... And so on and so on.

 

Don't be that guy. If your girl is gonna cheat on you, she's gonna do it no matter what you try and have her do/not do. The best way to ensure she doesn't stray... Is to be secure in yourself so she doesn't open her mind when an attractive friendly guy comes along. When a girl knows she's got a BF who trusts her and doesn't break her balls about where she goes or what she does... She will consciously remember that if she ever gets hit on or approached. But when you're a controlling psycho, she's gonna be thrilled to get with a guy who appears normal.

[GemmaUK]

No, it's not normal.

It's controlling and smothering.

It's not something you should request nor expect.

[coolheadal]

Is it normal to expect my SO to keep me updated and text me where they go and what time they reach home or am I being too clingy? Sometimes she forgets to text me and I keep waiting for her as we normally facetime after work

 

You just want to make sure she's doing what you think she's doing. I am like this too. Others will call this clingy, or better yet jealously of love. So what you want to make sure she doing what think she doing.

 

Yes they should remember to text you back but they don't because they're not like you. It's nice to see you would do it. I am like that myself. Just have to wait it out or just don't be there for them. Let them see how it feel like when your not around. Sometimes that helps too. If they're not around so often it could mean they're not really into you as you had thought they were.

 

Time then to more on, and find someone else that can like you for you and do the extra special things you count on in life!