Does the MM hurt?

[Gigi2015]

Liam, in my case I never competed with the wife at all, but it seemed as though he was competing with my husband. I wouldn't ask about her a lot, but he ALWAYS asked questions about my husband. One day, when I went into his office, I asked if I could use his computer. Computer was in sleep mode. Once I shook the mouse and got it out of sleep mode, I was staring dead at my husband's facebook profile, which I thought was weird. He would do this quite often. He was always sizing my husband up. He would look at pics of me and my husband, and though he wouldn't say anything, he would have a mad look on his face while looking at them. He would say awful things about his wife about how she didn't cook or clean, her cooking was horrible, etc. That she did nothing but sat around the house all day. I asked him if he thought it were possible that maybe his wife was tired because she was raising two kids? He got upset and asked, "what, are you an advocate for my wife? Who's side are you on here?" I know...weird.

 

 

These people WILL hyper focus on you!! But---they won't leave their marriages...that says it all...hint: It not ANYTHING to do with you! You accepted a relationship with a conflicted person. Stop listening to words...STICK to actions...

[Parannonx]

Ummm....OK.

 

Read your post, it's all about how he's not hurting and his wife seems happy and how could he be like that when you are miserable, didn't you mean anything to him?

 

Like I said an utter lack of awareness.

[Conqueror]

Read your post, it's all about how he's not hurting and his wife seems happy and how could he be like that when you are miserable, didn't you mean anything to him?

 

Like I said an utter lack of awareness.

 

I do know that what I did was wrong. My husband and I have reconciled and are trying to put it behind us, but that doesn't mean I don't have my days when I wonder if I really meant anything to him at all. I have been with my husband since I was 19 and that is the only man I know. Therefore, giving myself to AP (although very wrong) was a huge deal to me. I really did think that he and I would ultimately end up together. That's what his actions said, even though I was hesitant about breaking the news to my DH.

 

Affair or not, no one wants to feel used or tossed to the side. I certainly did not feel used at the time. He has reconciled with his wife just like my husband and I and I completely respect that. But I would still like to think that he wasn't just using me. That is why I was/am wondering why MM hurt just like the OW often does.

[Gigi2015]

I do know that what I did was wrong. My husband and I have reconciled and are trying to put it behind us, but that doesn't mean I don't have my days when I wonder if I really meant anything to him at all. I have been with my husband since I was 19 and that is the only man I know. Therefore, giving myself to AP (although very wrong) was a huge deal to me. I really did think that he and I would ultimately end up together. That's what his actions said, even though I was hesitant about breaking the news to my DH.

 

Affair or not, no one wants to feel used or tossed to the side. I certainly did not feel used at the time. He has reconciled with his wife just like my husband and I and I completely respect that. But I would still like to think that he wasn't just using me. That is why I was/am wondering why MM hurt just like the OW often does.

 

 

Important lesson: Your value as a person is not dependent on the way a SINGLE person treated you.

[Parannonx]

I do know that what I did was wrong. My husband and I have reconciled and are trying to put it behind us, but that doesn't mean I don't have my days when I wonder if I really meant anything to him at all. I have been with my husband since I was 19 and that is the only man I know. Therefore, giving myself to AP (although very wrong) was a huge deal to me. I really did think that he and I would ultimately end up together. That's what his actions said, even though I was hesitant about breaking the news to my DH.

 

Affair or not, no one wants to feel used or tossed to the side. I certainly did not feel used at the time. He has reconciled with his wife just like my husband and I and I completely respect that. But I would still like to think that he wasn't just using me. That is why I was/am wondering why MM hurt just like the OW often does.

 

You aren't really reconciling if you are spending this much time and energy on worrying about whether or not your AP is pining for you as much as you are pining for him.

 

You should be spending less time thinking about if he hurts and more on dealing with the pain that you have caused your husband.

 

Cause frankly with the mindset you have now it's only a matter of time before you cheat again.

 

Get your priorities straight, focus on becoming a person who is worthy of respect. Learn to stop relying on others to validate you. It was your insecurities and lack of self respect that got you into this mess. Concentrate on fixing that.

 

Whether your AP hurts or misses you is irrelevant.

 

Honestly, do you really want someone to miss the selfish entitled abusive ******* that was you in the affair? The person who was willing to play with the hearts of three different people including the one to whom you swore to be faithful?

 

Why should he miss you? Hell why should you miss that you? You led him on, let him to permanently damage his relationship with his wife while doing the same with your husband.

 

Both of your spouses have been left as your second choices.

 

Try something different, instead of focusing on the pain that you are feeling and your little pity party about how the liar you were lying with misses you. Think about the pain that your choices caused others and focus on repairing the damage you caused.

 

Because frankly if my wife were spending the amount of time pining over an AP that you are, I'd leave her.

[whatatangledweb]

My husband felt alot like Liam. He was having a MLC and wanted to feel young again. These are his words" I wanted to see if I could pick up an easy piece of a$$ like I could in college". Which is what he did with a coworker on a trip. He like the excitement of sneaking around and being with someone new..at first.

 

It quickly became old as she became more demanding and needy. He told her over and over that he was not leaving me. After the first two months the threats started. If he ended with her then she would tell me. He changed the base he worked out of to end it and that didn't work. He was stressed out, sick of her, and kept trying to find a way out without me knowing. He cared about her but didn't love her so he didn't want to hurt her for the longest time.

 

The last three months he was horrible to her, being mean. Constantly fighting. Telling her he wanted out. She thought if I found out I would kick him out and she would have him.

 

He got sloppy and left the browser uncleared and I found out. I told him if he wanted her to get out. He didn't. He cried,begged and he ended it the minute I found out before we talked.

 

He got into the affair for nothing more than a fling and it ended 18 months later with him despising her(his word). He hurt but not for her. For the pain he caused me and for the betrayal of himself.

 

I know that some do hurt for the OW but most I know didn't.

[MJJean]

I doubt that many truly don't like their AP if it was more than a brief fling. I think Gigi is more likely to be right when she says it is him/herself that the MP doesn't like. Or at least his/her behaviour and attitudes during the affair. By he AP gets mixed up in those negative feelings.

 

I felt a lot like Liam described for most of my AP's. The care and concern one human feels for another human. A few of my AP's were dear friends and I cared for them as sear friends. A few I didn't like AT ALL, but the chemistry was intense. I could tolerate them here and there for a few hours at a time for the sex, though.

 

Right. In my case, he was the one making the demands. It was his way or the highway.

 

See it from his point of view. He told his wife. He left his home and family. He thought you'd do the same, as you'd discussed. You didn't. He had every right to say "Piss or get off the pot!"

 

 

I do know that what I did was wrong. My husband and I have reconciled and are trying to put it behind us, but that doesn't mean I don't have my days when I wonder if I really meant anything to him at all. I have been with my husband since I was 19 and that is the only man I know. Therefore, giving myself to AP (although very wrong) was a huge deal to me. I really did think that he and I would ultimately end up together. That's what his actions said, even though I was hesitant about breaking the news to my DH.

 

Affair or not, no one wants to feel used or tossed to the side. I certainly did not feel used at the time. He has reconciled with his wife just like my husband and I and I completely respect that. But I would still like to think that he wasn't just using me. That is why I was/am wondering why MM hurt just like the OW often does.

 

Most of the time, no, I don't think MM/MW hurt the way OM/OW do. In your case, because he proved his sincerity by actually telling his wife he loved you and leaving her, he probably did hurt.

[lftbehind]

'I never wanted the drama of the affair and don't like drama in my life. I just wanted for me and MM to enjoy our time together. It was happy and positive'

 

The subterfuge necessary to engage in the first place introduces drama from the very first encounter. Those who truly dislike drama would have some trouble enjoying the encounter because of the fearful feelings raised. I suspect many hide this bad feeling behind strong feelings of being swept away by true romance and live - in itself a love of drama.

 

I believe the drama intensifies for a married AP over a single. My husband denied liking the drama, saying he hates conflict. They aren't the same thing. He was lacking deep self awareness when he said that. He did enjoy the rush of the drama.

 

Romantic love is, by definition, dramatic. When forbidden this aspect increases exponentially.

 

I didn't have fearful feelings with the encounter. I did feel swept away and very happy and relaxed.

[elaine567]

I think all is fine until the OW gets emotionally involved, and starts demanding stuff from the MM, like texts, demonstrations of affection, extra time spent, gifts etc. She wants some signs she is special to him, that she is in some way better than his wife, she wants him there on her birthday, Valentines, Christmas... she gets a bit fed up of being always second best. If he really loves her like he says he does when she asks, then why isn't he more into her?

Whilst some may hide their growing distress, he starts to feel the tension and that is often not really what he signed up for, when he started "this bit of fun", so he goes cold. She pleads, he gives in, they have sex, it is fine, until again he starts feeling the tension...

Right. In my case, he was the one making the demands. It was his way or the highway.

 

That is because in your case HE was the one acting like the OW, and YOU were acting like the MM.

He was the one besotted, "we love each other let's be together forever" and he changed his life to suit in preparation for being together, like so many OWs do too, and YOU held back like so many MM do.

When it came down to the wire, you decided to stay at home, and you chose your husband, just like so many MM, when given the stark "stay or go" choice, choose their wives.

[Forceawakensme]

I am quite certain mine is suffering right now. Im sure it comes and goes though. There are probably plenty of moments he is quite fine.

 

I think his withdrawals would be about as intense as mine but i am quite sure he is not analyzing the past conversations / actions / dates this happened the way i do. Im sure his head is quite clear from all that crazy clutter.

 

I am sure his thinking is simple: " I miss her and the excitement but i dont miss the stress, this sucks but its for the best". I think hes also thinking "i hope she stays away so i dont get tempted to go backwards". --- Beyond that, im sure its just sexual thoughts/ masturbating to pics and memories.

 

Its my XMM birthday today so im triggering big time.

[Midwestmissy]

So much of what I read here is exactly what my wh says. He did say that any strong feelings he had for her were from so wanting to believe she (and therefore he) was an honest and good person. Who wants to admit they're risking their marriage for someone who's a liar and a cheat, like them? He was so mentally effed up prior to the A that he wanted to hear and believe what she was saying, and she mirrored him and responded perfectly.

 

He confused the validity of the message with the enthusiasm of the messenger. He feels ridiculous now since her motives are so obvious and he chose to wear blinders in exchange for the strokes. He had a tension headache and was incredibly angry for the entire 6mo affair, and for the entire time he lied afterwards. He needed to keep his enemy close because he realized that he in fact didn't know her at all and couldn't trust her at all.

 

He doesn't believe he was conned or that she was wily and seductive. He thinks he just changed his mindset to make me the enemy and her this helpful angel. That was just easier. Manipulative people aren't brilliant, they've just been honing their skills since they were children - his mother is that personality to a very high degree, so getting pulled in by the mow was very familiar and comfortable, just really really destructive. As is his mother. Whoever she's married to or dating is the love of her life and all else is forgotten. Until next week. The mow was like that, very superficial and way too over the top and insincere, but viewed by people on the periphery (where she likes to keep people, as many as possible) as a generous and giving and mother Teresa type of woman. Fascinating psychology, really. Both the mil and the mow are social workers, and love surrounding themselves with needy people who worship them. Not all social workers do this obviously, and so many are genuinely good, but these 2 always are looking for the ego boosting from the less fortunate.

 

I do believe some aps fall in love, but I don't think a relationship based on deceit and deception of those closest to you ever really can be a happy place.

[Forceawakensme]

Over the years ive met a lot of people on both sides of the table.. My conclusion is this:

 

MM/MW tell their Betrayed Spouses and their AP the least painful version of the story (after breakup or DD)--- TO be in affairs in the first place they are avoidant of confrontations so of course they are going to tell their hurt wife/husband whatever is going to hurt them the least about the OW/OM. Similarly, they tell the OW/OM the version of the story that will hurt them least.. 'i need to stay for my kids, guilt, money, etc etc' .

 

I imagine they are very confused and the truth lies somewhere in the middle but neither side is probably ever fully privy to their deep innermost thoughts because in most cases its probably a complicated mess of feelings, impulses and changing thoughts that even they dont understand. They just go with the path of least resistance.

[Liam1]

I do know that what I did was wrong. My husband and I have reconciled and are trying to put it behind us, but that doesn't mean I don't have my days when I wonder if I really meant anything to him at all.

 

I have been with my husband since I was 19 and that is the only man I know. Therefore, giving myself to AP (although very wrong) was a huge deal to me. I really did think that he and I would ultimately end up together. That's what his actions said, even though I was hesitant about breaking the news to my DH.

 

Affair or not, no one wants to feel used or tossed to the side. I certainly did not feel used at the time. He has reconciled with his wife just like my husband and I and I completely respect that. But I would still like to think that he wasn't just using me. That is why I was/am wondering why MM hurt just like the OW often does.

 

Conqueror:

 

If you are still thinking about your AP, you are not really reconciling with your spouse.

 

To reconcile, you need to realize you love and want to stay married to your spouse and that the affair was a mistake. If not you are not all into the marriage, you are not reconciling you are compromising.

 

You also are not seeing your affair partner with clear eyes. He was NOT just looking for an affair, (neither were you most likely) He was looking to mate poach.

 

If your AP had any sense of right and wrong, and he was telling the truth about his feeling for his wife, why wouldn't he man up and set himself and his wife free.

 

Why would you want a man who would stay married to someone he despises so. His whole existence is a lie. He lies to you, he lies to his wife, he lies to himself.

 

Also, if you are still unhappy in your marriage, why not divorce your spouse and set yourself free to find a relationship that makes you happy?

[Gigi2015]

Over the years ive met a lot of people on both sides of the table.. My conclusion is this:

 

MM/MW tell their Betrayed Spouses and their AP the least painful version of the story (after breakup or DD)--- TO be in affairs in the first place they are avoidant of confrontations so of course they are going to tell their hurt wife/husband whatever is going to hurt them the least about the OW/OM. Similarly, they tell the OW/OM the version of the story that will hurt them least.. 'i need to stay for my kids, guilt, money, etc etc' .

 

I imagine they are very confused and the truth lies somewhere in the middle but neither side is probably ever fully privy to their deep innermost thoughts because in most cases its probably a complicated mess of feelings, impulses and changing thoughts that even they dont understand. They just go with the path of least resistance.

 

This is very insightful! Good job.

[Maddieandtae]

Conqueror,

 

From what I read of your words you sound hurt, very hurt. I have no idea how your Affair Partner feels and to me I think the only ones feelings that should matter to you are your feelings and that of your husbands. It does appear that there was manipulation occurring from the married man. Now that you are out of it isn't it more important for you to figure out your feelings and how to validate yourself and not seek that from others? It's a tough road and you can do it you are searching for awareness:)

[13Hearts]

My husband felt alot like Liam. He was having a MLC and wanted to feel young again. These are his words" I wanted to see if I could pick up an easy piece of a$$ like I could in college". Which is what he did with a coworker on a trip. He like the excitement of sneaking around and being with someone new..at first.

 

It quickly became old as she became more demanding and needy. He told her over and over that he was not leaving me. After the first two months the threats started. If he ended with her then she would tell me. He changed the base he worked out of to end it and that didn't work. He was stressed out, sick of her, and kept trying to find a way out without me knowing. He cared about her but didn't love her so he didn't want to hurt her for the longest time.

 

The last three months he was horrible to her, being mean. Constantly fighting. Telling her he wanted out. She thought if I found out I would kick him out and she would have him.

 

He got sloppy and left the browser uncleared and I found out. I told him if he wanted her to get out. He didn't. He cried,begged and he ended it the minute I found out before we talked.

 

He got into the affair for nothing more than a fling and it ended 18 months later with him despising her(his word). He hurt but not for her. For the pain he caused me and for the betrayal of himself.

 

I know that some do hurt for the OW but most I know didn't.

 

I think there may be something wrong with me because I sincerely do not understand why OW hold onto their MM who don't leave their BS. As I've said in someone else's thread, I've had two affairs with MM. The first one was when I was very young (in my young 20s) and I was just having fun and really could not have cared less when he left town and broke it off with me. The second started about 3 years ago when MM told me (over some time) they had separated because he wanted to and he was happy separated, but then she asked him to go to MC, which he did not want to go to but did but then told her he wanted a divorce so MC ended. He told me he intended to separate and divorce so I told him okay, when you're divorced let me know. I've gone on with my life, albeit not an exciting life, pretty humdrum, but I'm not lamenting over a loss or wondering whether he "really" loved me. Of course he loved me, in the way men love. It hurt a lot to be away from him and it was difficult not to be in touch all day and night (via text) anymore, but I got through it unscathed.

 

It doesn't really matter whether he was just trying to get some, or whether we were truly the most compatible people on planet earth, or soul mates destined to be together, or whatever other romantic ideas you can come up with. Because he's married.

 

It's weird how people in affairs just forget this fact, or ignore it. He would tell me over and over and over how much he loved me and we were meant to be together etc etc and I just kept telling him "Thank you, I understand, but you're MARRIED. To someone ELSE." It's ridiculous, really, when you think about it, how people just live in this other reality or something.

 

I'm not making fun of anyone, or criticizing really, or saying I am better. I guess I'm just making an observation that people in "affair fog" are just not being reasonable or rational because they're not facing the truth.

 

So Conquerer, I guess what I want to say is to search for YOUR truth. And I think your truth has something to do with your own morals and values. Nevermind XMM, and his feelings. Don't worry about what he really wanted or what chance there was. It's best left in the past. He's not the one who got away, he's the one who went back to his wife after a crazy stint renting an apartment. Because when a man really wants to split up with a woman, he does whatever he can to split up with her, and he doesn't look back. Your guy was on the fence, thought he'd try something with a MARRIED WOMAN with little children who loves her husband, that is, someone he knew he was not going to have much luck with in a LTR and no skin off his nose because he knew his wife would take him back.

 

Hope you're doing okay, Conquerer.

[Forceawakensme]

 

It doesn't really matter whether he was just trying to get some, or whether we were truly the most compatible people on planet earth, or soul mates destined to be together, or whatever other romantic ideas you can come up with. Because he's married.

 

It's weird how people in affairs just forget this fact, or ignore it. He would tell me over and over and over how much he loved me and we were meant to be together etc etc and I just kept telling him "Thank you, I understand, but you're MARRIED. To someone ELSE." It's ridiculous, really, when you think about it, how people just live in this other reality or something.

 

I'm not making fun of anyone, or criticizing really, or saying I am better. I guess I'm just making an observation that people in "affair fog" are just not being reasonable or rational because they're not facing the truth.

 

 

 

Hope you're doing okay, Conquerer.

 

 

This. Thank you. This is me and it helps to read it and see it for the insanity that it is.

[anika99]

These people WILL hyper focus on you!! But---they won't leave their marriages...that says it all...hint: It not ANYTHING to do with you! You accepted a relationship with a conflicted person. Stop listening to words...STICK to actions...

 

But the MM did leave his marriage and it was actually the OP who was dragging her feet and stalling on leaving hers.

 

Actually this whole thread has me confused. If the OP had posted the same story but it had been her who left her marriage and the MM was the one who wouldn't leave his, posters would heap sympathy on the OP and tell what an awful lying user the MM was to stay in his marriage after the OP left hers for him. And if the OP told us that the MM was just sticking to the timeline of one year we would have told her that was bullsh*t, that if he wouldn't leave now then he wouldn't leave later, that he just wanted to be a cake eater and that it was a good thing the OP pushed him to leave right away because it revealed the MM for the liar and user he is. And if the OP had called the MMs wife to tell her horrible hurtful things we would have told the OP that it was wrong for her to do that but understandable given the way she was played by the MM and that if the MM's wife was hurt by the phone calls from the OP it was the MM's fault for being a cake eating cheater in the first place. We would say the OP was driven to act irrationally by the MM and his unwillingness to leave.

 

So how is it that the MM is still the villain in this thread when he did the one thing so many OW are desperate for their MM to do, which is to move out of the marital home, and the OP is still the victim when she did what so many MM are loathed for doing, which is to stay married and do nothing towards leaving?

 

OP I happen to think that if you weren't willing to take the plunge when your MM did, then you were never going to. Nothing would have changed a year from now. There is no easy time to leave a marriage.

[elaine567]

But the MM did leave his marriage and it was actually the OP who was dragging her feet and stalling on leaving hers.

 

...So how is it that the MM is still the villain in this thread when he did the one thing so many OW are desperate for their MM to do, which is to move out of the marital home, and the OP is still the victim when she did what so many MM are loathed for doing, which is to stay married and do nothing towards leaving?

 

^^^^ this...

[Liam1]

Anika:

 

I don't think she is being made the villain. She asked for advice and she is being offered advice.

 

It appears she is still pining over the OM even though he told her he was working on the marriage. She said he is over the affair.

 

She is looking at his facebook page and becoming jealous of the happy pictures she sees.

 

She needs to move on.

 

Here is the original posting:

 

I am almost 1 year out of an affair that lasted for 5 months. It was an EA that turned into a PA. He and I were both married with children. We were actually making plans to leave our spouses to be together. He and I were planning a future, we discussed bills, what we would name our children, how our wedding would be...We even discussed how we would raise our children. He and I would have Bible study together and he wined and dined me throughout the entire course of our relationship.

 

He said he wasn't happy with his wife, and never loved her. He said he only married her because they seemed to have a lot in common at the time. He felt that over time, he could learn to love her, but it never happened. He wanted out and almost left her several times before. He said that we were soulmates. He told his wife he loved me. I know this because she called and told me, but asked me to take a step back so that they could work on things. He called me back and told me that his mind was made up and that he was leaving. However, once Both of spouses found out just how serious our relationship was, they forbade us to see once another. My husband called him and told him to never contact me again and his wife did the same.

 

We went completely NC. I was in sooo much pain.

 

It was absolutely unbearable at times. I tried to move on, and focus on my husband and children, but when I would look at his or his wife's social media acct, they seemed so happy while I was in pain.

 

I thought, "how could he proclaim his love to me, and now, he and his wife are in these pictures smiling and looking like they are having the time of their lives?

 

How is it that MM can get over affairs much more quickly than women?

 

Did he ever hurt? Did he really love me? I did love him. Sometimes people tell me that he was just using me, and playing mind games with both me and his wife. However, I never felt used. I wish that I could stop hurting and be as happy as he seemed to be.

 

 

__________________

[MJJean]

Anika:

 

I don't think she is being made the villain. She asked for advice and she is being offered advice.

 

It appears she is still pining over the OM even though he told her he was working on the marriage. She said he is over the affair.

 

She is looking at his facebook page and becoming jealous of the happy pictures she sees.

 

She needs to move on.

 

Yes, but the question is WHY. Why is she pining over the MM, upset he is working on his marriage, and stalking his FB?

 

He left his wife for her, as they had discussed. She decided to stay married and is the one who rejected him when he blew up his entire life for her.

 

Of course he hurt. Of course she meant something to him. He proved it.

 

Maybe the question she should be asking is did he mean anything to her.

 

BTW, Conqueror, meaning it at the time is the very definition of future faking. The future faker means what they say in the moment, but not otherwise. And that seems to be exactly what you did. You said things you meant in the moment, but did not actually mean in reality. Otherwise, you'd have left when MM did.

[Liam1]

Y

Of course he hurt. Of course she meant something to him. He proved it.

 

 

Did he prove it? How?

 

The people here are just advising her to move on rather than staying fixated on how he may feel. They are offering advice from their own perspective.

 

Only he knows how he felt or feels.

 

I certainly don't know how he feels.

 

I don't see any indication that he cares enough about her to treat her better than he is treating her.

 

His actions seem cruel.

[MJJean]

Did he prove it? How?

 

The people here are just advising her to move on rather than staying fixated on how he may feel. They are offering advice from their own perspective.

 

Only he knows how he felt or feels.

 

I certainly don't know how he feels.

 

I don't see any indication that he cares enough about her to treat her better than he is treating her.

 

His actions seem cruel.

 

"He told his wife he loved me. I know this because she called and told me, but asked me to take a step back so that they could work on things. He called me back and told me that his mind was made up and that he was leaving."

 

He told his wife he loved C and that he was leaving her to be with C. That's enough proof for me he wasn't future faking and did genuinely care for C.

 

MM/MW who are just in it for the sex generally nearly kill themselves to prevent their spouses from finding out. This guy not only told his wife he was having an affair, he told her he loved his AP and was leaving for her. IIRC, he also got a place and was "pressuring" OP to move in with him.

Edited February 5, 2016 by MJJean

[imperfectangel]

Did he prove it? How?

 

The people here are just advising her to move on rather than staying fixated on how he may feel. They are offering advice from their own perspective.

 

Only he knows how he felt or feels.

 

I certainly don't know how he feels.

 

I don't see any indication that he cares enough about her to treat her better than he is treating her.

 

His actions seem cruel.

 

He got an apartment for them both to live in but C kept putting it off because she couldn't face telling her H or children

[anika99]

Anika:

 

I don't think she is being made the villain. She asked for advice and she is being offered advice.

 

It appears she is still pining over the OM even though he told her he was working on the marriage. She said he is over the affair.

 

She is looking at his facebook page and becoming jealous of the happy pictures she sees.

 

She needs to move on.

 

Here is the original posting:

 

 

 

 

__________________

 

Thank you but I didn't need you to repost the original post as I did read it. I also read the OPs later post where she stated the MM left his wife for her, moved out, got an apartment for himself and the OP, only to have the OP waffle and make excuses for not leaving. She wouldn't leave her marriage and she wouldn't end the affair. She was never going to leave her husband but she was stringing along the OP because she wanted both. To my way of thinking the MM in this story was way more earnest and sincere towards the OP than she was towards him, yet posters here are making him out to be the ass. That's what I don't get.