ar_b71481 Posted June 8, 2005 Share Posted June 8, 2005 [font=times new roman][/font][color=indigo][/color][/b]My boyfriend of three years decided a couple of months ago that we needed a break to put things into perspective. This really hurt me and I had trouble dealing with the separation. One minute he would want to hang out with me and the next minute he wanted his space. When I finally said, "I've had enough", he slowly started to come around. He went out of town for work and I had already made plans to go out with a friend. Me and this guy went back to the house. I made a point not to do anything with this guy yet things looked differently when my "boyfriend in question's" mother walks in. She blows everything out of proportion and tells her son that I'm having sex with another guy. The truth is, we both had our clothes on and we were more than 5 feet away from each other. Now, my ex-boyfriend told me he never wants to see or talk to me again, and to stay away from him. I can tell from the email he sent me that he's hurt...but we haven't spoken since it happened. Is there anyone who's been through something like this? Is there anything I can do to get him back? Or should I just move on... Link to post Share on other sites
SexKitten Posted June 8, 2005 Share Posted June 8, 2005 back to whose house? how is it that his mother was there? ...it doesn't make sense to me. Link to post Share on other sites
tiki Posted June 8, 2005 Share Posted June 8, 2005 Why are you saying you got "caught" if you did nothing wrong? Was this your home with your previous b/f? Why in God's name would she just walk in, if it's not her home? Link to post Share on other sites
Author ar_b71481 Posted June 8, 2005 Author Share Posted June 8, 2005 It was our house...and his mother had a key. If I were planning on having sex with this guy, why would I have brought him to what used to be "our" house.... I know I f**ked up. I just want my boyfriend back. Link to post Share on other sites
Author ar_b71481 Posted June 8, 2005 Author Share Posted June 8, 2005 My ex is an only child. He is still a baby to her. She still tries to run his life, but he doesn't let her. Basically, over the past year she's almost been competing with me....and this gave her the perfect opportunity to get me out of his life. He was aware of us not getting along, and his view upon the whole thing was that he wants to me with me and he's the one who decides...not her. But when she told him that she walked in on me.......... Link to post Share on other sites
SexKitten Posted June 8, 2005 Share Posted June 8, 2005 nope, still not making sense. wait, you lived together? i don't think this is true. Link to post Share on other sites
IhavenoFREAKINclue Posted June 8, 2005 Share Posted June 8, 2005 Originally posted by ar_b71481 I just want my boyfriend back. That might not happen if: 1. His mother doesn't like you that much and exaggerates the situation. 2. He has strong views on what guy friends entail (ie not going to your house) This is the classic Friends episode. "WE WERE ON A BREAK!!" Technically, you guys are on a break....meaning a break from the relationship. How I look at it, When you take a break at work, your free to go and do whatever you want. So I think it's not cheating but people beg to differ. But if you say you weren't doing anything..Its your word vs his mothers....I think he'll go with the ladder. Especially since the relationship was on the rock already. Link to post Share on other sites
Author ar_b71481 Posted June 8, 2005 Author Share Posted June 8, 2005 It's True. It feels like something out of a movie. We lived together....and he was out of town. His mother has a key to our house. I knew everything was innocent, so I didn't think about things ending up like this...but the mother took advantage of the situation, and took control. It's what she's been trying to do for over a year now. Link to post Share on other sites
TalkingSmack Posted June 8, 2005 Share Posted June 8, 2005 Regardless if you planned to have sex with him or not, I think taking a male "friend" back to your place while your bf was out of town was very inconsiderate and selfish. Did he know you were meeting a friend? Did he know that this friend was a male? Did you usually bring friends home after getting together, male or otherwise, when he's not around? Does he know that? Your relationship was already rocky and you decide make a move like this which is questionable even in the best of circumstances. I think you dug yourself into this whole. Well now that the mother has seen what she has seen, if you want him back your life just got worse. You not only have to contend with earning back his trust, but you now have to deal with his Mom trying make sure that he doesn't get back with you. I think you better call ove on this one, take your lessons learned and try not to make the same mistake again. Link to post Share on other sites
Naive Posted June 8, 2005 Share Posted June 8, 2005 Well if I was his mother I would feel the same way. It's understandable that you want to move on but if that is a house that you both share together then I would consider it off-limits to bring someone else in there. You should have taken him somewhere else. Your ex should know you well enough already to know what you are capable of doing and what you are not. Also, why do you care what they think if you are not together anymore and you are even going out with other people? Link to post Share on other sites
BrotherAaron Posted June 8, 2005 Share Posted June 8, 2005 His mother's a bitch. It's none of her damn business what you do Besides, he can't have his cake and eat it too. Are you dating? Yes? No? If he doesn't want to make up his mind, there's nothing wrong with finding somebody who will. Life's too short to be waiting for people to 'decide' what they want. Link to post Share on other sites
Author ar_b71481 Posted June 8, 2005 Author Share Posted June 8, 2005 The messed up part about the whole thing is.....my ex has always known that I have guys that are friends...and he trusts me completely.....it's just that his mother thought that the guy was more than a friend due to my ex and I taking time apart. That's why she went back and told him. I think you are right though. Even though it hurts like hell, I think I'm going to have to try and forget about him. Link to post Share on other sites
Author ar_b71481 Posted June 8, 2005 Author Share Posted June 8, 2005 I'm thinking about relocating to a different city. I think a new city and new people may help that process. Link to post Share on other sites
mental_traveller Posted June 9, 2005 Share Posted June 9, 2005 Tell him the truth about what happened (or didn't). If he doesn't believe it, he can go take a hike. Get revenge on his mother a few years later. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts