Should I change personal trainers or this harmless?

[vmckenzie]

I am 20 and he is 36 and is married according to his FaceBook. When I first met my personal trainer, he kept looking deep into my eyes with the biggest smile. He then texted me asking how my day has been and when I am starting, to have a good holiday etc. A few weeks later when I joined the gym, I saw him and he gave me a big smile. We both happened to get into the lift at the same time leaving and he looked directly at me and then seemed shy and was looking down. He texted me a few days later asking if I am ready to start my PT sessions however the agreement was it for to be next month. I told him I'm going away and he asked for how long and said "happy new year, new you" Few weeks later, he messages me saying "wassup" asks how I am, to have a good rest, that we will "catch up soon" (not sure whether he's implying gym or?) and said goodnight to me.

[d0nnivain]

So far I see salesmanship & a little light harmless flirting which is part of salesmanship. I think he's a friendly guy / a people person.

 

 

I'm not sure how he got your phone # to text you & if you didn't give it to him, directly or indirectly by putting it on your application, I'd be a bit concerned.

 

 

Instead of going all the way to getting a new trainer, I'd simply act more professional and stand-offish around him. He should know where the lines are & power down but I suspect he's just a friendly guy & you are over reading the situation.

[thefooloftheyear]

I know there are some personal trainers on here and I really mean no disrespect, but the way I see most of the male trainers with female students is a lot of grooming, flirting, and bs-ing and not so much training...It's really embarrassing to watch....

 

With all of the qualified female trainers out there i don't know why a woman wouldn't seek a female out and avoid all the potential crap....The goal is to get in shape, no??

 

Unless that's what you want??

 

TFY

[stillafool]

It really doesn't matter if he is flirting or not because he's married. That's a no-go, right?

[Grumpybutfun]

I know there are some personal trainers on here and I really mean no disrespect, but the way I see most of the male trainers with female students is a lot of grooming, flirting, and bs-ing and not so much training...It's really embarrassing to watch....

 

With all of the qualified female trainers out there i don't know why a woman wouldn't seek a female out and avoid all the potential crap....The goal is to get in shape, no??

 

Unless that's what you want??

 

TFY

 

I completely agree. I'm an instructor for MMA and I will give basic instruction to ladies in matches, but I usually refer them if they want me to train them to a great female instructor. Too much drama when they develop crushes, and I don't place myself in situations where anything inappropriate can happen.

You can't get propositioned if you aren't in close proximity,

Grumps

[fitnessfan365]

I've been an NASM CPT for nearly seven years.

 

One thing I will say is that I always keep it professional and don't cross that line. I am not going to lie and say that it hasn't been difficult over the years. Worked with a lot of attractive women, and have had more than a few female clients express interest. But there are tons of women out there and only one source of income. So it never seemed like it was worth it to me. When it comes to communication between sessions, I keep it to a bare minimum. If a client is sick, I will check in on them. Or if they've been gone on a trip, I'll touch base when they're back and ask how the trip was and look forward to seeing them back, etc.. But this guy seems like he's a bit too invested outside the sessions.

 

Don't get me wrong. I am sociable, friendly, and personable with all my clients. But they know that it's all about business w/me and they're training w/me because I am good at what I do and they get results.

 

With all of the qualified female trainers out there i don't know why a woman wouldn't seek a female out and avoid all the potential crap....The goal is to get in shape, no??Unless that's what you want??TFY

 

I've seen some KICK ASS female trainers over the years. But I will say this. Many of my female clients worked with female trainers before me, and they tell me constantly how glad they are that they switched. In a lot of cases, the female trainers didn't push them hard enough and it became more about socializing. Just the other night I saw a female trainer freelancng in my gym working with two women. They spent the entire hour laughing and socializing with exercise being at a bare minimum. Now of course, being a "personal" trainer means you develop a great working relationship with clients and get to know them. But, the workout should be the first priority. That's why they're paying you after all.

Edited February 3, 2016 by fitnessfan365

[getsmartie]

I have seen this in the past with trainers crossing boundaries so I know it happens. I am a female PT in the business for over 20 years and I do have many male clients in my client list. Over the years two of them tried to push boundaries in which case I eventually dropped them. The thing is they may mistake a trainers friendliness for something more. It's really up to the trainer to set the tone.

[thefooloftheyear]

I've been an NASM CPT for nearly seven years.

 

One thing I will say is that I always keep it professional and don't cross that line. I am not going to lie and say that it hasn't been difficult over the years. Worked with a lot of attractive women, and have had more than a few female clients express interest. But there are tons of women out there and only one source of income. So it never seemed like it was worth it to me. When it comes to communication between sessions, I keep it to a bare minimum. If a client is sick, I will check in on them. Or if they've been gone on a trip, I'll touch base when they're back and ask how the trip was and look forward to seeing them back, etc.. But this guy seems like he's a bit too invested outside the sessions.

 

Don't get me wrong. I am sociable, friendly, and personable with all my clients. But they know that it's all about business w/me and they're training w/me because I am good at what I do and they get results.

 

 

 

I've seen some KICK ASS female trainers over the years. But I will say this. Many of my female clients worked with female trainers before me, and they tell me constantly how glad they are that they switched. In a lot of cases, the female trainers didn't push them hard enough and it became more about socializing. Just the other night I saw a female trainer freelancng in my gym working with two women. They spent the entire hour laughing and socializing with exercise being at a bare minimum. Now of course, being a "personal" trainer means you develop a great working relationship with clients and get to know them. But, the workout should be the first priority. That's why they're paying you after all.

 

 

IME, i've seen the complete opposite....Don;t get me wrong, I am not discounting your experiences, but that hasn't been the case...

 

The women trainers I know are no bullshyt types....I never see any unnecessary banter, laughing, etc...as I have seen with the guys...Especially the new crop of 20 somethings that if I didn't know better are only in it for a cheap thrill...They don't strike me as knowing what the hell they are doing, that's for sure...

 

I see some get involved with some stretching where they are kneeling in front of the woman while she is flat on her back, have their hands on their upper thighs some 7 or 8 in from the "promised land", and pushing their thighs up over their head...Not for nothing, I would not feel comfortable doing that to a strange woman..I don't care what the benefit....And I am not a prude...

 

I do think some women do get off on the attention, though....So maybe everyone is happy?? I dunno...

 

TFY

[fitnessfan365]

Especially the new crop of 20 somethings that if I didn't know better are only in it for a cheap thrill...They don't strike me as knowing what the hell they are doing, that's for sure...

 

This can be true and I agree with you.

 

I was doing independent training for awhile. But business has slowed a bit because people are becoming more and more interested in small group and bootcamp. So three months ago, I went back to working in a gym part time just to supplement my income a bit.

 

There's a trainer on staff who's purely in it to get laid. Has sub par knowledge, etc.. I mean just the other night I saw him asking another trainer for help on his form, etc.. I was thinking "You're supposed to be the educator".

[getsmartie]

Qoute from fitnessfan365(

I've seen some KICK ASS female trainers over the years. But I will say this. Many of my female clients worked with female trainers before me, and they tell me constantly how glad they are that they switched. In a lot of cases, the female trainers didn't push them hard enough and it became more about socializing. Just the other night I saw a female trainer freelancng in my gym working with two women. They spent the entire hour laughing and socializing with exercise being at a bare minimum. Now of course, being a "personal" trainer means you develop a great working relationship with clients and get to know them. But, the workout should be the first priority. That's why they're paying you after all.

 

I can't help but be offended by this. I have a degree in kinesiology and am an exercise physiologist and can assure you my clients both male and female are getting their monies worth.

[fitnessfan365]

I can't help but be offended by this. I have a degree in kinesiology and am an exercise physiologist and can assure you my clients both male and female are getting their monies worth.

 

My post didn't have anything to do with you personally. I mean why would you be offended at what my female clients have said about female trainers they worked with that aren't you?

 

Also, as I said I have seen some really great female trainers. Based on your education and experience I know that I'd be impressed if I saw you in action. However, I've also seen my fair share of female trainers that focus on soccer mom's and other demos they can put through relaxed workouts and be armchair shrinks with.

 

But let me make it clear. I have all the respect in the world for women in the fitness industry who are skilled at what they do.

[getsmartie]

My post didn't have anything to do with you personally. I mean why would you be offended at what my female clients have said about female trainers they worked with that aren't you?

 

Also, as I said I have seen some really great female trainers. Based on your education and experience I know that I'd be impressed if I saw you in action. However, I've also seen my fair share of female trainers that focus on soccer mom's and other demos they can put through relaxed workouts and be armchair shrinks with.

 

But let me make it clear. I have all the respect in the world for women in the fitness industry who are skilled at what they do.

 

Well perhaps because I felt you made a blanket statement in your first post by saying many of your female clients are glad they switched to a male and that in many cases their previous female trainers did not push them enough. Reread your initial comments about this.

 

Regardless I've seen both male and female clients either cross the line or are totally disengaged in their sessions. It happens and unfortunately there is no governing body to oversee this industry.

Edited February 3, 2016 by getsmartie

[fitnessfan365]

Well perhaps because I felt you made a blanket statement in your first post by saying many of your female clients are glad they switched to a male and that in many cases their previous female clients did not push them enough. Reread your initial comments about this..

 

You're right I did say that. But I was simply relaying what my female clients have said about the female trainers they worked with. It's not a blanket statement that applies to every female trainer out there. That's why I've said multiple times that I've not only seen some amazing female trainers, but that I also have a ton of respect for women in the fitness industry that are skilled.

 

I can't really imagine what some female trainers have to go through though. They take their job seriously, want to help their male clients, etc.. Yet the main motivation was to have a chance to hit on them. Hell recently on Craigslist I saw that a guy posted he wanted a "nude female personal trainer" for "better motivation"..LOL

[getsmartie]

[quote=fitnessfan365;6764204)

 

I can't really imagine what some female trainers have to go through though. They take their job seriously, want to help their male clients, etc.. Yet the main motivation was to have a chance to hit on them. Hell recently on Craigslist I saw that a guy posted he wanted a "nude female personal trainer" for "better motivation"..LOL

 

Yes this does happen but this is when a good trainer will shut it down. People who want to push boundaries will constantly try to push boundaries. It's up to the professional to set the tone. Re the Craig list ad well nothing surprises me!

[introverted1]

I've seen some KICK ASS female trainers over the years. But I will say this. Many of my female clients worked with female trainers before me, and they tell me constantly how glad they are that they switched. In a lot of cases, the female trainers didn't push them hard enough and it became more about socializing. Just the other night I saw a female trainer freelancng in my gym working with two women. They spent the entire hour laughing and socializing with exercise being at a bare minimum. Now of course, being a "personal" trainer means you develop a great working relationship with clients and get to know them. But, the workout should be the first priority. That's why they're paying you after all.

 

At my gym, the male trainer is all business and the female trainer spends a good deal of time talking about men, dating, etc., with her clients.

 

I have seen both good and bad male and female trainers. It comes down to the individual.

[vmckenzie]

I am 20 and he is 36 and is married according to his FaceBook. When I first met my personal trainer, he kept looking deep into my eyes with the biggest smile. He then texted me asking how my day has been and when I am starting, to have a good holiday etc. A few weeks later when I joined the gym, I saw him and he gave me a big smile. We both happened to get into the lift at the same time leaving and he looked directly at me and then seemed shy and was looking down. He texted me a few days later asking if I am ready to start my PT sessions however the agreement was it for to be next month. I told him I'm going away and he asked for how long and said "happy new year, new you"

 

Few weeks later, he messages me saying "wassup" asks how I am, to have a good rest, that we will "catch up soon" (not sure whether he's implying gym or?) and said goodnight to me. Then a week later or so he texted me saying "yo whats up! are you ready for a session? back yet?" I told him I was ready and he said "yay! Tuesday is the date! lets dooo it! pump it up" then when I had to cancel because I got sick, he was understanding and told me to get better. I had a training session with him today and he said when I saw him "I like you, you're funny" and would get quite close to me and a lot of the times our knees would be touching. Very touchy touchy. Or he would show something with his hands and then grab mine and put mine near his. I had to take my shoes/socks of for measurements and he looked at my feet for a good minute. He asked about how far I live from the gym. At one point I was doing a workout and my hair was in a pony tail and he would touch it and move it to the side. He was telling me quite a few years ago he was seeing a woman where I'm originally from. Asked about my siblings and other family members. Said to me that "I'm so small, he could just pick me up with one arm" Something I also noticed is that he didn't have his ring on.. And I've seen him in photos before with his ring on. When I was leaving, we both ran into one of the ladies that work there and he put his arm around me.

[Art_Critic]

is married

 

Isn't that really all you need to know...

 

People don't put married on their facebook unless they really are married and you said you saw pictures of him with his ring on..

 

He may be flirting with you but it is up to YOU to rebuff his flirt, spend your time on a guy who is single not some guy looking to cheat on his wife and honestly I would think a personal trainer would be against dating his clients.. that would be unprofessional

[losangelena]

Uhh, do YOU feel comfortable with how he treats you? If not, you're free to leave/say something.