Striking a balance: How to be a "desirable" person.

[rble618740]

CIOC:

 

One of your points is to set boundaries and be willing to walk when those boundaries are crossed. I have seen other posts of your in which you discuss your relationship with God. As a married woman, and a Christian, I do not feel I have the option to walk. Any thoughts on that?

[ConfusedInOC]

Originally posted by rble618740

CIOC:

 

One of your points is to set boundaries and be willing to walk when those boundaries are crossed. I have seen other posts of your in which you discuss your relationship with God. As a married woman, and a Christian, I do not feel I have the option to walk. Any thoughts on that?

 

The only reason God will allow for divorce is infidelity. If your husband has been unfaithful, then you have every right in God's eyes to divorce.

 

If the problem is not infidelity, what is it then? Have you read "Love Must Be Tough?" It really is a good book that combines psychology with good Christian beliefs. The goal is to reconcile the relationships.

 

I would talk to Moose and he is really, really much more spiritually mature than I am and is a great source of info.

 

Moose? Where ya at, big guy?

[ConfusedInOC]

Originally posted by Star Gazer

Those who can't just be themselves have to read a LOT of self-help books, I guess.

 

That's a rather ignorant assumption.

 

When a breakup occurs, you need time to yourself. To evaluate WHY things happened the way they did and what part of yourself needs improving. If books and counseling get you there, all the better.

 

Too many people are hung up on "I can fix myself..."

 

Uhh, when you're sick and need to see the Doctor, you go to the Doctor.

When you need plumbing done, you hire a plumber.

 

Why then do people think they are experts at fixing their own mind???

 

If being yourself is something that is inherently screwing up all your relationships, then reading self-help books and getting counseling is setting you up to succeed in relationships...just like going to College gets you set up in a career (most of the time.)

 

My point is, to say someone reading a self-help book is "changing" who they are is is completely unfounded and untrue. You aren't changing the core of who you are, you are better understanding how and WHY you act the way you do and learn to eliminate NEGATIVE behavior.

[millefiori]

I think it was a good post, maybe there were also other not so altruistic reasons involved not only his concern for the nice guys and other rejected people, but nonethless a nice post.