minimariah Posted February 3, 2016 Share Posted February 3, 2016 (edited) I've told her point blank I'm not interested in him that way. then why are you bothered by her "greatest boyfriend ever" posts & pictures...? you're not over him - she knows it & you not accepting her FB request (while being all friendly & nice when you meet them in person) only confirmed it for her (in HER eyes). she saw it as shady and let's be realistic here -- while you might have been NICE to his "new squeeze" - the "i don't like you" vibe was probably there. i'm not so sure you wouldn't take him back. Edited February 3, 2016 by minimariah 1 Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted February 4, 2016 Share Posted February 4, 2016 See my reply above - and he and I have been friends for 5 years (prior to dating) - I feel like I am at her mercy! But you're right: perhaps I'm giving her feelings too much weight; who cares? And if anyone has anything to say about it, screw Em...? Well..yeah. That is what you were told in your previous threads too. Don't worry so much about what she or your ex-boyfriend think. Your ex sounds like a tool too, based on your other threads. That friendship with him won't ever be the same, because the dynamic changed as soon as you entered a relationship with him. I don't see what you're gaining by continuing to hang on to him, as a friend or otherwise. By continuing to engage with them, you're part of the problem instead of part of the solution. None of this silly FB drama was possible without your consent. You can choose not to be part of this. At the moment, you're choosing the opposite. Wouldn't be my personal choice. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author seeingthisguy Posted February 4, 2016 Author Share Posted February 4, 2016 then why are you bothered by her "greatest boyfriend ever" posts & pictures...? you're not over him - she knows it & you not accepting her FB request (while being all friendly & nice when you meet them in person) only confirmed it for her (in HER eyes). she saw it as shady and let's be realistic here -- while you might have been NICE to his "new squeeze" - the "i don't like you" vibe was probably there. i'm not so sure you wouldn't take him back. It's cute that you think that. Lol. While I wouldn't, let's play devils advocate: even if I wanted him, what I want shouldn't matter to her. What he wants should. Period. Link to post Share on other sites
mattelipstick Posted February 4, 2016 Share Posted February 4, 2016 I agree with the others. Either you aren't over him, or you simply thrive on drama -- the latter seems entirely likely, given the very dramatic/sensationalized way you lay out your stories in these threads. Anybody who REALLY wanted to be done with this would've been done with it months ago. It's not hard... multiple people have given you quality suggestions in multiple posts in multiple threads. The "drama" is still happening because you allow it (and appear to get off on it, for whatever reason). 1 Link to post Share on other sites
minimariah Posted February 4, 2016 Share Posted February 4, 2016 (edited) It's cute that you think that. Lol. and you don't...? you REALLY... like, FOR REAL think that you're over and done with this dude? let's take a look at your posts: I'm trying to find a way to avoid this, and not cause a rift between he and I because we have countless friends in common. so she sent you a friend request -- you denied. she obviously told about it to her BF (who couldn't care less) and they had a fight (because he probably told her that he couldn't care less and neither should she) and then! she came to confront you. this really isn't a big deal. it doesn't seem like a game changer and you're acting as if unfrending both of them will cause some kind of war between your mutual friends and his girlfriend will come for you in some Freddy Krueger style to avenge her failed FB friendship attempt. easy and obvious solution -- you call your ex, sit down with him and tell him that you don't feel comfortable being friends with them on FB because you moved on and don't want or need that drama. i'm sure he'd understand. you can still mantain a normal and civil relationship with him for the sake of your mutual friends and move on. another obvious solution -- you modify FB settings so you don't have to see her posts at all and you can also hide your own posts so she doesn't see them. so why is this the THIRD thread on the issue with such simple solutions? to be honest -- it doesn't really look like you want advice, it looks like you want us to tell you that this must be a sign that he isn't over you. like others already said - you're allowing this drama to continue and for some reason, you keep acting like a hopeless victim. Because NOW I have a new problem - NOW, she posts, "I LOVE MY BOYFRIEND HES THE GREATEST MAN IN THE WORLD" photos all over my timeline...constantly. The other day, she posted a video of them in bed together on my timeline? repeating my question -- if you're over the guy, why would you be bothered by this? why do you even care? i don't think she cares about what you want -- she's probably annoyed by you because she knows you don't like her but aren't upfront about it. and she thinks you're after her boyfriend - plain ol jealousy. Edited February 4, 2016 by minimariah 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Qboro90 Posted February 4, 2016 Share Posted February 4, 2016 I think you're taking this girls feelings and intentions too seriously. You and her are never going to be friends. That should be obvious to the both of you. When she came up to you and said "why didn't you accept my friend request?!" You could've just said "what? I didn't even know you sent one, I've had so many randoms send me requests in the past I stopped looking. Hope you didn't think it was intentional"... And that's all. But since you did accept it, just click the "following" tab on her profile. It will keep you two as friends, but remove everything she posts from your feed. Problem solved. If she gives you an attitude in the future, or snide remarks, or flaunts her relationship with him in front of you, just be the mature person in all of this. At the end of the day, your indifference will drive her crazier than anything else you could do. Knowing that you could care less is going to just bring out her own insecurities. Rest easy knowing that 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author seeingthisguy Posted February 4, 2016 Author Share Posted February 4, 2016 I think you're taking this girls feelings and intentions too seriously. You and her are never going to be friends. That should be obvious to the both of you. When she came up to you and said "why didn't you accept my friend request?!" You could've just said "what? I didn't even know you sent one, I've had so many randoms send me requests in the past I stopped looking. Hope you didn't think it was intentional"... And that's all. But since you did accept it, just click the "following" tab on her profile. It will keep you two as friends, but remove everything she posts from your feed. Problem solved. If she gives you an attitude in the future, or snide remarks, or flaunts her relationship with him in front of you, just be the mature person in all of this. At the end of the day, your indifference will drive her crazier than anything else you could do. Knowing that you could care less is going to just bring out her own insecurities. Rest easy knowing that lol. The above re: "so many randoms" is exactly the excuse I gave her the first time. Then she refriended me so I accepted after the blow out. But you're right - and good just unfollowed her. I shall remain indifferent. Link to post Share on other sites
Author seeingthisguy Posted February 10, 2016 Author Share Posted February 10, 2016 Fun update... You'll all be happy to know I've successfully unfriended both parties. It sucked but, there we go. Onwards and upwards! Link to post Share on other sites
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