The tables have turned

[Art_Critic]

Women... half the money and all the pu$$y.. damn them....

 

Take any negative response like that as a good response for you to have upfront like that, less time wasted for you.

[Shining One]

I think after you've had a date, some type of prolonged contact, certainly sex, or a relationship, at that point having a conversation or explaining your disinterest is the right thing to do.

 

However, if a stranger on a website sends a message...you never met them...don't know them...and don't want to know them, then that's a different case. In cases like this, online, and when only one message has been sent on only one party's end, I agree w/ preferring silence. I don't need a man that I've sent one msg to to write me a form rejection. I can sum it up easily and with no hard feelings by a non-response. However, if we've actually been communicating back and forth, went on a date and for sure had sex, that's totally different. We owe more to people with whom we have more developed relationship basically, that's why. After having sex is certainly a more involved relationship than messaging someone whose first name you don't even know on a website.

 

 

It's like jobs, when you apply online for a job for example, if they never choose to interview you, they never have to say anything to you. Some do, and that's nice. But it's reasonable that if they don't reply at all, they're probably not even interested in your resume. However, after you've exchanged emails with a hiring manager or recruiter,gone on an interview in person or via the phone etc, then yes I do think it's rude not to tell you they won't be hiring you. But before they do that, if you simply sent out your cover letter and resume, then them not responding says it all and is less rude than if you met everyone and interviewed and they said they'd let you know and then went silent.

This is why this topic is always up for debate. My thought process makes sense to me, yours makes sense to you, and my friend's makes sense to him.

• Me: Ignoring someone is always inconsiderate.
  
• You: Ignoring someone is sometimes acceptable, sometimes not.
  
• My friend: Ignoring someone is always acceptable.
  

[road]

So if he does respect her opinion why did he not respect it the first time she responded 'no thanks'?

 

I find it pretty odd too to feel so invested/interested at first/second mail stage that a person would basically argue a 'no thanks' in any way at all.

 

 

When being pursued many women have changed their mind from no to yes. He would feel that maybe he has enough to offer so he clicked on her ad.

 

 

That is not stalking. That is taking a chance.

[xxoo]

Ignoring is absolutely acceptable at times. It's the only sane course at times.

 

Cruelty is a different story.

[road]

So if he does respect her opinion why did he not respect it the first time she responded 'no thanks'?

 

I find it pretty odd too to feel so invested/interested at first/second mail stage that a person would basically argue a 'no thanks' in any way at all.

 

 

Again because women have been known to change their minds.

 

 

Because he had the means to drive that far and willing to drive that far for he felt she was worth it. By him telling her that she was worth the effort for him to make the trip to have a relationship that maybe she would reconsider him.

 

 

Nothing ventured nothing gained.

 

 

Again this is not stalking. This is not forcing himself on her. No different when a man has been having friendly chats with a woman that he casually knows and asks her out for a cup of coffee. And she says no she's too busy. So a week later he asks again for he really likes her. She says no again . So he moves on.

[xxoo]

That's fine, road, but what response is expected from the woman who politely said no already? Many times, the reasons she states (distance for example) are just letting him down easy. If she was interested, $5 says she'd make the drive.

[elaine567]

I think many do not really want to get too involved with anyone that doesn't immediately stand out as being a potential mate.

Of course in the cruel world of the internet, niceness and politeness can be met with rudeness and hostility and enough abuse to send someone into therapy, so not saying anything and avoiding getting involved is the best option for many.

[elaine567]

Speaking of which, I actually had a co-worker, and IT guy I worked with...said he did the online dating thing YEARS ago. He got tired of not getting any responses, and he's a decent, well tempered guy. Apparently he reached a boiling point of sorts when the final woman didn't respond to him and just let her have it with both barrels. lol

 

Sorry, am I missing something here?

Giving a woman "both barrels", is somehow funny to you????

Someone he doesn't know, who is out there looking for a partner like everyone else, who committed the heinous crime of not responding to HIS messages - does she really deserve "both barrels"???

smh

[ZA Dater]

Lets look at this " I don't think we are a match", I have had that many times, I'd love to know how people arrive at that assessment based on some text and a picture.

 

What happened to actually meeting someone in person, I have met people from OLD I had no interest in on paper to see if they were more interesting person.

 

Here is a simple fact, females can AFFORD to be picky on OLD because there is tons of choice, for every lady on OLD I'd wager there are 8 guys.

 

Bottom line is OLD is fundamentally flawed and will break the spirit, morale and self confidence of many guys.

 

I know, I have been there.

[Shining One]

Ignoring is absolutely acceptable at times. It's the only sane course at times.

 

Cruelty is a different story.

Some would argue that cruelty is relative. If a random woman sleeps with me and then goes silent, I would not feel as if I had been treated with cruelty. I'm sure there are some people out there who consider it cruel to be ignored after writing a thoughtful message.