Author Austinreames Posted February 4, 2016 Author Share Posted February 4, 2016 Point being, you did something pretty crappy to this girl. You knew she was emotionally involved but didn't care so long as you were getting yours. Now that you recognized (allegedly) that you f*cked up, you seem to have this expectation that she should be cool about it. You're still wrapped up with your feelings and expectations and still appear to have zero empathy for this girl and what she's gone through. If someone did something to you and felt bad do they not deserve another chance? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Austinreames Posted February 4, 2016 Author Share Posted February 4, 2016 OP, you're looking for someone to validate your behavior. It ain't gonna happen. Keep treating women like this and you will find yourself with an ugly reputation and alone for the rest of your life looking at a past that is filled with remorse and regret when you finally come to maturity. In addition, what may happen at some point, is that you will meet a girl you really, really do like, who knows your history (because women talk and Facebook is forever), and will lead you down her garden path and then dump you . . . karma is a bitch. I'm not looking to get someone to validate I just don't understand how what I did to her was unforgivable. I was her first I KNOW she has some attachment to me. She should at least be willing to talk and understand my point of view. Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted February 4, 2016 Share Posted February 4, 2016 If that's the case then she should recognize that I do care for her. But she believes I don't. But she stuck around for years. She's very sweet usually and normally would talk it out. It's inhuman for her to just ignore me because I know she cares Do you really think she still cares for someone who treated her as badly as you did??? She will in fact hate you and rightly so. Are you really that insensitive to the feelings of others? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
GorillaTheater Posted February 4, 2016 Share Posted February 4, 2016 If someone did something to you and felt bad do they not deserve another chance? Not necessarily. It depends greatly on what they did to me. Even if I chose to forgive (more for my peace of mind than for their benefit) doesn't mean that I'd ever speak to them again. She has absolutely no obligation to give you a second chance. Based on the fact that you're still not demonstrating any concern for how she feels about what happened and are still focusing on how YOU feel about it (while still dating this other chick), she's making the right choice by cutting you out of her life. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Austinreames Posted February 4, 2016 Author Share Posted February 4, 2016 Do you really think she still cares for someone who treated her as badly as you did??? She will in fact hate you and rightly so. Are you really that insensitive to the feelings of others? She's a good person I know she doesn't hate me. I mean she's done things to me too. She decked me right in the face! Link to post Share on other sites
GorillaTheater Posted February 4, 2016 Share Posted February 4, 2016 She's a good person I know she doesn't hate me. I mean she's done things to me too. She decked me right in the face! 1) You got off lucky. 2) I'm starting to get that under-the-bridge vibe, so I'm out. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
Redhead14 Posted February 4, 2016 Share Posted February 4, 2016 I'm not looking to get someone to validate I just don't understand how what I did to her was unforgivable. I was her first I KNOW she has some attachment to me. She should at least be willing to talk and understand my point of view. understand my point of view -- your point of view is distorted and disrespectful. She understands your POV much better than you think she does. She should at least be willing to talk -- And, now, you're telling her/us how she should be feeling or what she should be willing to do?????? You are showing the beginning/signs of a man who is controlling, abusive and manipulative (I KNOW she has some attachment to me) and entitled. Son, you've got a ton of growing up to do. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
66Charger Posted February 4, 2016 Share Posted February 4, 2016 (edited) If you want to talk to her, schedule a conference with jer and your girlfreind. You said you learned from your mistakes, so I assume you meant you learned that cheating is wrong, right? Therefore, it should be no problem for you and your girlfreind to have this sit down. Or am I missing something? Edited February 4, 2016 by 66Charger Link to post Share on other sites
Space Ritual Posted February 4, 2016 Share Posted February 4, 2016 Austin, I am not gong to pile on here I just wanted to point something out to you that may give you some pause to look at it from this girl's side, and perhaps may explain to to you why the replies you have received thus far are like a red hot poker... Was I reading right that when you 2 hooked up she was a virgin? Did you really take this girl's Virginity and then proceeded with the Cavalier attitude? If this was the case, then you should probably understand something here that I just don't see you understanding. When you take someone's virginity, the absolute worst thing you can do is act like it was no big deal. I don't care what gender or age that person is, taking someone's virginity is perhaps one of the most memorable events in a person's life. And yet you have been playing with this girl's emotions the entire time and had a GF to boot. In this girls mind, she has been played for a fool the entire time by you. Dude seriously when dealing with Virignity issues and the aftermath you cannot act like it was just not a huge deal. This girl is totally crushed by not only you having a girlfriend, but by defending her as well. Maybe you just don't know any different but you must simply accept that as far as this girl is concerned your name is Mudd. I really hope you understand that you must cease all contact with this girl for her sake, not yours. You have hurt her terribly and I am afraid that minimizing your complicity in hurting her will have future repercussions for you. Damn I'm really shaking my head at this one. I hope you take this as a lesson to not treat hooking up as casually as you have previously. Please leave this poor girl alone. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Austinreames Posted February 4, 2016 Author Share Posted February 4, 2016 Austin, I am not gong to pile on here I just wanted to point something out to you that may give you some pause to look at it from this girl's side, and perhaps may explain to to you why the replies you have received thus far are like a red hot poker... Was I reading right that when you 2 hooked up she was a virgin? Did you really take this girl's Virginity and then proceeded with the Cavalier attitude? If this was the case, then you should probably understand something here that I just don't see you understanding. When you take someone's virginity, the absolute worst thing you can do is act like it was no big deal. I don't care what gender or age that person is, taking someone's virginity is perhaps one of the most memorable events in a person's life. And yet you have been playing with this girl's emotions the entire time and had a GF to boot. In this girls mind, she has been played for a fool the entire time by you. Dude seriously when dealing with Virignity issues and the aftermath you cannot act like it was just not a huge deal. This girl is totally crushed by not only you having a girlfriend, but by defending her as well. Maybe you just don't know any different but you must simply accept that as far as this girl is concerned your name is Mudd. I really hope you understand that you must cease all contact with this girl for her sake, not yours. You have hurt her terribly and I am afraid that minimizing your complicity in hurting her will have future repercussions for you. Damn I'm really shaking my head at this one. I hope you take this as a lesson to not treat hooking up as casually as you have previously. Please leave this poor girl alone. She chose to keep the fact that she was a virgin from me. She was 23 years old she was an adult. She told me afterwards during an argument. She's 25 years old, now she's an adult. Yes I did know she thought I was her boyfriend because she'd gush about me like a schoolgirl at work. Even then I told her several times!! Even once I verbatim said "YOUR ARE NOTHING OF MINE" she knew. She continued to sleep with me for 1 1/2 years after that and I can't lie I have grown to care alot about her. She didn't go into this blind. Maybe she was blinded by her feelings but she knew. And now all of a sudden when I'm being sincere she won't say a word. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Austinreames Posted February 4, 2016 Author Share Posted February 4, 2016 If you want to talk to her, schedule a conference with jer and your girlfreind. You said you learned from your mistakes, so I assume you meant you learned that cheating is wrong, right? Therefore, it should be no problem for you and your girlfreind to have this sit down. Or am I missing something? Why would we sit down with my gf? Like cmon you honestly think after not even wanting to talk to me she'd speak to my girlfriend? Link to post Share on other sites
Space Ritual Posted February 4, 2016 Share Posted February 4, 2016 And now all of a sudden when I'm being sincere she won't say a word. Austin, That right there is proof positive you really need to take a step back and think about how your actions affect others. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Qboro90 Posted February 5, 2016 Share Posted February 5, 2016 I'm not looking to get someone to validate I just don't understand how what I did to her was unforgivable. I was her first I KNOW she has some attachment to me. She should at least be willing to talk and understand my point of view. Why do you think this girl owes you anything? You're not getting the point whatsoever. You say you care about this girl? That's a blatant lie. If you cared about her you'd be saying "I'm 1000% to blame for all of this and I know that, I dnt deserve her to even speak to me... But I've broken up with my gf and I'm going to slowly try and show this girl that she's my priority... And if she decides to never speak to me again even then... I can't blame her because I had my chance and blew it" But you don't.. You had the balls to even say she's partly to blame... You're just selfish and your ego is bruised because you can't bang this girl anymore and have her crushing on you while you did whatever you wanted. Sucks for you. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
66Charger Posted February 5, 2016 Share Posted February 5, 2016 Is your girlfreind enjoying multiple penises also? I am not asking this for spite. Its ok, right? You are doing it. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Austinreames Posted February 5, 2016 Author Share Posted February 5, 2016 Is your girlfreind enjoying multiple penises also? I am not asking this for spite. Its ok, right? You are doing it. I'm doing what? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Austinreames Posted February 5, 2016 Author Share Posted February 5, 2016 Why do you think this girl owes you anything? You're not getting the point whatsoever. You say you care about this girl? That's a blatant lie. If you cared about her you'd be saying "I'm 1000% to blame for all of this and I know that, I dnt deserve her to even speak to me... But I've broken up with my gf and I'm going to slowly try and show this girl that she's my priority... And if she decides to never speak to me again even then... I can't blame her because I had my chance and blew it" But you don't.. You had the balls to even say she's partly to blame... You're just selfish and your ego is bruised because you can't bang this girl anymore and have her crushing on you while you did whatever you wanted. Sucks for you. You honestly think I've had her around for years and don't care about her? Why would I go through embarrassing myself sending her pics after pic while she ignores me? I'm not trying to blame her I'm just saying she knew the deal and continued to be involved Link to post Share on other sites
Qboro90 Posted February 5, 2016 Share Posted February 5, 2016 You honestly think I've had her around for years and don't care about her? Why would I go through embarrassing myself sending her pics after pic while she ignores me? I'm not trying to blame her I'm just saying she knew the deal and continued to be involved Since you literally said in your Op you started off seeing her just so you could sleep with her and that's it because you weren't really attracted to her until a year later...Even the way you say that "you think IVE HAD her around" comes off like you were doing her a Favor by allowing her to suck your ___. Arrogant much? She knew the deal and continued to be involved. Then when you embarrassed her by taking your gf side when they were arguing, she decided she'd had enough. You realize people are allowed to dk that right? She can stop seeing, sleeping, liking you and not have to explain why at all. You're just some guy she had sex with afte all right? Put yourself in her shoes and reverse the situation. Pretend she had a BF this whole time and was sleeping with you on the side. Then you confronted her BF and she takes his side... Would you jump right back into being her side piece just because she said "sorry, my bad.. At least I can admit it tho" ? If you say yes then you need to try and find a coupon somewhere for common sense and purchase it immediately. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Scarlett.O'hara Posted February 5, 2016 Share Posted February 5, 2016 Before that's how we would talk or communicate with selfies to eachother That was before she found out she was seeing someone else. Her actions are perfectly normal under the circumstances. She owes you as much consideration as you have shown her, none. Just because you admit you made a mistake doesn't stop you from having to face the consequences of your actions. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted February 5, 2016 Share Posted February 5, 2016 Actions aside, you need to stop thinking about yourself, and understand she has feelings too, that you fail to consider in all this. You are selfish. You were only concerned about your own needs, and not giving a crap at the fact this girl was naive, inexperienced, and had strong feelings for you. Just because you warned her, doesn't get you off the hook for taking advantage of her. Now please give her some respect and leave her be. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Satu Posted February 5, 2016 Share Posted February 5, 2016 So I'm admitting I was wrong but I'm not allowed to talk to her? What about herself. Blatantly ignoring me and then only responding days later by telling me she wants to erase me is very rude. She's doing the right thing. Why don't you just leave her alone? Link to post Share on other sites
ChickiePops Posted February 5, 2016 Share Posted February 5, 2016 So I'm admitting I was wrong but I'm not allowed to talk to her? What about herself. Blatantly ignoring me and then only responding days later by telling me she wants to erase me is very rude. No..you're not allowed to talk to her, and yes, you absolutely deserve her response. Admitting you were wrong is NOT the same as apologizing to her (did you apologize by the way?), and it doesn't mean she's obligated to forgive you either, even if you do apologize. You were a jerk and you treated her like garbage..own up, and then use this experience as a lesson..this is how NOT to treat people in the future. Move on and treat women better in the future. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Austinreames Posted February 7, 2016 Author Share Posted February 7, 2016 You guys keep saying "leave her alone" as if I'm harrassing her!! I haven't said anything to her since she insulted me by only acknowledging me messaging her by saying can I delete pics of her and didn't respond to my actual messages. I only view her snapchat pictures but I don't bother her. Link to post Share on other sites
ChickiePops Posted February 7, 2016 Share Posted February 7, 2016 You guys keep saying "leave her alone" as if I'm harrassing her!! I haven't said anything to her since she insulted me by only acknowledging me messaging her by saying can I delete pics of her and didn't respond to my actual messages. I only view her snapchat pictures but I don't bother her. Cool..so you won't message her again and you'll try to treat people better now? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Austinreames Posted February 7, 2016 Author Share Posted February 7, 2016 Cool..so you won't message her again and you'll try to treat people better now? I will talk to her. Whenever she's ready to talk to me. She just needs time. I will message her again when I feel she's ready to respond 1 Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted February 7, 2016 Share Posted February 7, 2016 I will talk to her. Whenever she's ready to talk to me. She just needs time. I will message her again when I feel she's ready to respond I am sorry, but your arrogance and lack of insight into what you have done to this girl is astounding. To the extent I fear you have a personality disorder. Google "lack of empathy". 2 Link to post Share on other sites
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