Pepuchin Posted June 8, 2005 Share Posted June 8, 2005 It happened again... (for the 3rd time!!) we broke up and she an her son are moving out. When? I don't know. She has to find a place to live but I am afraid it is going to take some time because she doesn't want to pay to much for a room ($300). I am very angry at this point, as you can see, but I have a good reason, I was making "everything" for the relationship and she told me that I am wasting my time, that she doesn't see us together in the future. We were living for almost a year and things were not working for the last 6 months (?) I was expecting some improvements in the relationship for all this time but it never went fine, on the other hand, she made things worse and worse.... she was all the time working and thinking on how to make more money, even leaving her son alone (or with me) and the time she was at home, she was either sleeping or on the phone. Sex? horrible, I felt like masturbating on her most of the time. I love her and I am afraid that it may happen the same as before.... me asking (begging) her to stay. I want her (them out of my life (house) out this time, I don't want to be in this situation anymore..... what can I do to be strong??? HELP PLEASE!!! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Pepuchin Posted June 10, 2005 Author Share Posted June 10, 2005 Is has been two days since the break up, they are still in my house and she moved all her stuff out of the bedroom. So she is sharing the bedroom with her 14 yo son. The contact is extremely limited, just hi and good afternoon or so. I think I am doing OK considering all the previous times I was begging her to stay. I think I finally realized that she doesn't love and was "using" me (sounds very cruel, I know). Before, I used to feel bad when she was walking to work at 6 in the morning, instead of me taking her to her work or letting her use my car; now, I don't feel that bad. I think I feel a lot of anger. Last night I could sleep, but night before I was awake from 12:30 to 5:30 am, just slept like 2 hours. I don't eat well and can't make any advancement in my work. It is being hard, but this time I am sure what I want. I hope to have enough strength to keep stuck to my guns. Link to post Share on other sites
ReluctantRomeo Posted June 10, 2005 Share Posted June 10, 2005 Whew, this sounds messy. I'm sorry, Pep. The only advice I have - and it's not much - is distraction. The tendency is to think all the time about her and the relationship, but you really need to be thinking of you and your future. Your friends, your hobbies, self-improvement, whatever. And I don't know how, but my gut says the sooner she is out of your house the better for all concerned. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Pepuchin Posted June 11, 2005 Author Share Posted June 11, 2005 Originally posted by ReluctantRomeo Whew, this sounds messy. I'm sorry, Pep. The only advice I have - and it's not much - is distraction. The tendency is to think all the time about her and the relationship, but you really need to be thinking of you and your future. Your friends, your hobbies, self-improvement, whatever. And I don't know how, but my gut says the sooner she is out of your house the better for all concerned. Thanks RRomeo, So far that is what I am trying to do, trying to build a new network of friends or re-encounter old ones, because they (gf/kid) were my whole world. Iam also trying to concentrate more in my work, almost imposible though. Do you have any advise on how can I approach her about when is she going to vacate my house without showing sounding rude or "bad guy"?? thanks for everything. Link to post Share on other sites
ReluctantRomeo Posted June 13, 2005 Share Posted June 13, 2005 Originally posted by Pepuchin Do you have any advise on how can I approach her about when is she going to vacate my house without showing sounding rude or "bad guy"?? Hmmm, well you could start by putting it as a polite, calm and friendly question: "When do you think you'll be moving out?" and see if she offers a timetable. If she offers a vague or slow timetable, help her to firm or speed it up. You could even offer a little help in packing. If she has no timetable (and I guess the house is yours and legally you're on solid ground if you had to chuck her out?) tell her you are finding the current situation difficult to cope with and you need a timetable. If she still won't bite, tell her that you've been through a lot together and it would really hurt you to have to do this through the law rather than on a friendly basis. But that you must have her leave, one way or the other. Be polite and calm throughout - even if she loses it. Be reasonable but firm - you can be flexible on the exact date and method, but you will not concede the principle that she must go. Just my 2 pennies. thanks for everything. My pleasure Link to post Share on other sites
Author Pepuchin Posted June 13, 2005 Author Share Posted June 13, 2005 Yes, the house is mine and she always considered herself a tenant here. At one time she needed a proff of residency and she ask me to give her (sign) a contract (sort of) document. I did so, but I didn't kkep a copy. I am going to ask her to let me make a copy. Yes, that is what i am going to do. It is still being very hard to deal with it, but I am remembering, or at least trying to remember ALL the basd things about her in reference to me... nad they are A LOT!!!. She actually doesn't like anything about me and I thought to write a list but so far, reminden them is being enough. Thanks again. Link to post Share on other sites
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