Boundaries at work

[Zapbasket]

I work as front-desk administrative support for about 10 departmental directors as part of being the support for the general manager and vice president for the largest division of our very large company. I'm feeling burnt out, first because I have outgrown this job and am ready for a new challenge, but that is a separate matter. While I'm still in this job, I see an opportunity to work on how I draw boundaries in a work setting and I'm feeling burnt out because I don't know how best to change.

 

I feel like I'm the garbage bin for any and every demand not only for the general manager, which of course is appropriate, and not only the departmental directors, which also is appropriate...but also for any and all customer complaints, company-wide employee needs, and just basically everything. It's what my position is about, and at first I embraced the opportunity to be a source of support and information to a huge section of the company. But it's beginning to wear me out. My desk is right by the entrance to the Admin office where all the managers have their offices. I don't have a door I can close. I feel constantly beset with requests of one kind or other and it's getting to be non-stop and exhausting.

 

One of my greatest strengths is that I'm a people person. I'm a good listener, I genuinely love people as a whole and enjoy being able to help, inspire, support in ways both practical and emotional. I have an ebullient personality and know how to get along with a vast range of people. I don't want to mute this asset...but I feel it's getting out of hand because people have had such a positive experience being helped by me in the past, that now they always and exclusively come to me for assistance, advice, etc.

 

I don't know how I can go about setting boundaries so that I don't feel just wiped at the end of the day. I'm definitely an "extroverted-introvert," in that while I am charismatic and sociable, I also need alone time to refuel both mentally and emotionally. I cherish un-interrupted time to focus on a project, but I never get un-interrupted time. I also don't feel I have support from my immediate boss, the general manager; he expects me to be available to serve everyone who comes to my desk for help, at the instant they want the help. For instance, I was on my lunch break a few weeks ago, and my boss called me on the radio for me to come to the Admin office. Thinking there must be some kind of emergency, I hurry back to the office. My boss called me because an employee needed to buy a bus pass. I felt annoyed, because the employee has at least 2 other options of people from whom he can buy bus passes; I have the names and contact info of those people on a big sign that sits front and center on my desk; and I have every right to go take a lunch break and have some confidence that I won't be called back to the office unless there's some kind of emergency.

 

I feel like if I don't start setting boundaries, I'm going to lose it. I feel exhausted at ehe end of every day, constantly interrupted and I feel like I can't get anything done except to respond to people's immediate requests all day. I realize this is my role...but surely there's some way I can set some boundary so that I don't go crazy? Can anyone empathize / does anyone have any advice?

 

I do plan to leave this job as soon as I can, but for now this job enables me to pursue a passion that is important to my career trajectory (even though this job itself is NOT important to that trajectory).

[Zapbasket]

What it is is that I feel interrupted all day long, with no door I can close or sign I can put up that says, "Please come back later." I feel like it has gotten to a point where I have given up even trying to complete a single thought or complex task, and have just given myself wholly over to responding to the immediate crises--real or perceived--people drop on my desk. In any given one-hour period, these are the interruptions that occur with predictable regularity:

 

--I need to buy a bus pass.

--Can I get some [free exchange passes to other resorts]? These have to be completed by hand; there's a separate card for each day; they then have to be entered onto a spreadsheet, each time about 10 pieces of data.

--Can you help me send a fax?

--A guest just called Advance Ticketing with a complaint; can you talk to him/her?

--I can't get the copier to do _____. Can you show me how?

--UPS with several deliveries / mailman with the mail (twice a day) / FedEx / our own shipping department with deliveries. I have to sort all packages and inform people by phone or email that they are in the Admin office waiting.

--I have ___ questions about ____ event that's happening this week.

--Can you please reserve the conference room for me for ____?

 

Meanwhile, on my desk I have open the charges made on my manager's AMEX that month, that about 5 other people in 5 separate departments use, and a bunch of receipts I'm trying to organize, code, etc. I'll also have open our charity database as I help send out certificates and award letters to organizations for our corporate giving department. Each award is a multi-step process involving 4 databases and several spreadsheets and so every time I'm interrupted I lose where I was in the process. I'm also answering every phone call that comes to my desk and it's either for me, my manager, or the VP. And so on, and so on.

 

I'm exhausted because all I ever do are tasks. Little tasks that never coalesce into a bigger picture. I also have to be at work earlier than everyone else to put out a report that goes out to our whole division of the company; each day I print around 250 copies of this report and then am responsible for distributing it to all the offices (in other buildings) on foot and by email as well as entering the data into our company website. I have discovered recently that those 250 copies I print each morning mostly go unread and thrown away at the end of the day by the various departments.

 

I'm just feeling worn out and since it's not an option to just quit right now, I am trying to turn it into an opportunity to get better at establishing boundaries since that has been something I've been working on in other areas of my life.

 

So can I do things like, "Bus passes are for sale from 4-5 pm on Mondays and Wednesdays. If you need a bus pass at another time, please go to ____."

 

"Hey, sorry I can't help you fax something to your car insurance company right now, random employee who came into the office because you heard we have a fax machine. I have other work I simply have to get done right now. But you can leave it with me and I'll take care of it by the end of the day and leave your forms in your manager's mailbox."

 

I"m starting to feel so exhausted that I fantasize about going into an office with a door and spending an hour or two each day in there, getting work done that takes 5 times as long when I'm constantly interrupted.

 

I don't know; I'm really burnt out.

[preraph]

I think what you have to do is talk to whoever has hire/fire authority over you and tell them that your job has become so big that some changes will have to be made, either an assistant for your or someone telling those who are offloading work onto you who can and can't do that and what type work. People will use you up if you let them. Just tell them you're stretched too thin and this point and make sure your hire/fire person understands who all is giving you work. My guess is they are not supposed to all be doing that.

[Zapbasket]

I think what you have to do is talk to whoever has hire/fire authority over you and tell them that your job has become so big that some changes will have to be made, either an assistant for your or someone telling those who are offloading work onto you who can and can't do that and what type work. People will use you up if you let them. Just tell them you're stretched too thin and this point and make sure your hire/fire person understands who all is giving you work. My guess is they are not supposed to all be doing that.

 

Thanks. I'll have to think about how I can present the problem to my boss. He's a nice man overall, and reasonable, but several times over the past year or so he has asked me what it is that I do all day. He cannot fathom why I could always be so busy, since, as he says, he himself doesn't give me that much to do. Recently I asked for a performance review / one-on-one with him and he again asked, "What is it that you do all day?" I'd prepared for this question and I answered that because my strength is dealing with all kinds of people, I have built relationships with managers and employees all across the company, and they have come to see me as someone they can come to for help." My boss didn't seem to get it. In his mind, I don't have much to do. I get the feeling, in fact, that he doesn't respect my position very much. I was really offended that he called me over the radio when I was on my lunch break because an employee had come to the office needing to buy a bus pass. He could have just told the employee to come back another time, or sell him the bus pass himself. Things like that communicate to me that he doesn't think my time is important. In fact, one time this summer he was under a lot of stress and upset by some things that had gone on with one of the construction crews on a big project, and he ended up yelling at me. And what he said was, "It's not like you do anything for us, anyway." I never called him on it, but I never forgot it either, because I fear this is what he really thinks.

[Banker Chick]

Have you thought about keeping a log for even a week or two of all your activities? I know it seems counter-intuitive but it would show in black & white the minutiae that consumes your day. I think you need to say "no" to some people & redirect. Some people don't mean to but they'll take whatever you give & most aren't aware of your workload so if you don't tell them you can't do something then they'll take advantage. I like your idea of doing some tasks at certain times on certain days.

 

As for your lunchtime, the next time the boss calls you on the radio, can you remind him you're at lunch & ask what he needs? If something isn't on fire you could tell him you'll deal with it when you're back.

[Zapbasket]

Have you thought about keeping a log for even a week or two of all your activities? I know it seems counter-intuitive but it would show in black & white the minutiae that consumes your day. I think you need to say "no" to some people & redirect. Some people don't mean to but they'll take whatever you give & most aren't aware of your workload so if you don't tell them you can't do something then they'll take advantage. I like your idea of doing some tasks at certain times on certain days.

 

As for your lunchtime, the next time the boss calls you on the radio, can you remind him you're at lunch & ask what he needs? If something isn't on fire you could tell him you'll deal with it when you're back.

 

Keeping a log is a great idea. Maybe just to start on a notepad open at my desk, where I write down each task as I begin it and the time, and then write the time I completed it. Maybe do this for 2 weeks and then make up a spreadsheet (I hate spreadsheets but love when you can start playing with entered data) that tallies how much time was spent selling bus passes, time helping people with the copy machine, time fielding phone calls from Advance Sales re: disgruntled customers.

 

This will give me a line of defense when I start allowing certain requests only at certain times. One thing that really has been wearing me down lately are the employees who show up all throughout the day wanting passes to other mountains (I work at a ski resort). Each pass has to be filled out by hand, and then the information has to be entered into a spreadsheet. They come in often when I'm eating lunch at my desk, and then just stand there while I fill out their passes, my lunch getting cold on the desk. The employees just expect that I be at my desk to serve them, and most annoying is that they come from all departments when their own departmental admin also gives out these passes. Obviously those admins don't really advertise that with their employees, and so they come to me. If I'm in the bathroom or in the back of the office or at the copier when an employee comes in, they sit there until I appear at my desk, or worse, they come into the middle of the office and bellow, "Hello! Hello!" or come bother any of my coworkers. My coworkers all feel for me and we joke about how stupid people are that they just stand there rather than read my huge sign that tells them where else they can go if I'm not at my desk. Or they come in all out of breath, saying they need to buy a bus pas and their bus leaves in 5 minutes--hint, hurry the hell up, Admin woman. I so want to tell them that they should be more responsible and plan ahead and it's not my job to ensure they get their bus...but I'm too nice, I guess, and it's not serving ME.

 

Perhaps I can set up a sign-up sheet on my desk where people can sign up for their passes to other mountains, and then I'll do all the requests at one time, and the employees can come pick them up at the end of the day. If employees don't like it, I'll just say, "Sorry, I have other work I have to get done and this is how I have to do these passes. You're welcome to go to HR to pick up these passes, as well." If my boss questions why I do this, which he will, and with a disapproving attitude, then I'll just shrug and say, "Sorry, but it was really getting to be too much and I have other work I need to get done."

 

I'm starting to see that maybe my boss, though overall he means well, is kind-of a prick...or at best, just completely unaware.

 

And good idea, too, on asking my boss why he's calling me on the radio before hurrying back to the office. I try to keep communications over the radio to a minimum since the channel I'm on is the one the whole ski patrol on our mountain uses. But that recent time when my boss bellowed for me over the radio so I could sell some employee a bus pass, several patrollers told me they had a good laugh over it because it struck them as ridiculous, too.

 

this is what happens when you're too good for the job you have. I knew I was overqualified for this job, but I took it because it was year-round and full-time and such jobs are hard to come by where I live. At the bottom of all this I'm dealing with now is that it's time for me to leave for something that actually makes use of my abilities and allows me to grow rather than completing menial tasks all day.

 

Sorry this is so wordy; I guess I've just really needed to vent. Any other advice welcome. I've had this happen before at other jobs, too, where I didn't know how to push back and just got overwhelmed...and what starts the whole cycle always is my over-desire to help. I need to stop this and the sole use to me of this job right now, aside from the practical factors of earning me a living, is to develop new, better habits. Basically, to learn to say NO and shrug it off when someone whines that they're not getting their way.

[preraph]

Well, that is the problem. He may be encouraging people to dump stuff on you because he doesn't understand your work. I suggest you write up a detailed report, maybe a daily log for a week's worth of work. One thing for sure, it proves he doesn't know who all is giving you stuff, but it may be his fault. So write it up with time on it and give it to him. Come in 10 minutes early or stay 10 minutes late to do that task so he can't use that as you having extra time.

[JustAddIce]

GreenCove,

 

Are all of the tasks listed part of your responsibilities? If yes, can you prioritize them? How long does it take to fill out a pass and enter into a spreadsheet? On average, how many passes do you have to complete? How many hours do you have to work a day? I would suggest that you keep a log of those things and present it to your immediate supervisor after you have collected a month's worth of data. Ask him for help on prioritizing your work and offer your solutions (i.e work on certain type of tasks at a certain time of the day etc). Don't be apologetic. Don't get defensive either.

 

You mentioned several times that your strengths are dealing with all types of people and building relationships. Can you leverage that into asking the admins from other departments to share the workload? What about technical skills? Are you proficient with Excel, databases etc? Can you multitask? Do you think you have all the skills you need to do your job? If not, can you request additional training?

[edgygirl]

We've had organizational changes in the department I work for and the same happened. Our assistants are overworked and at least until we get another headcount, the highest person in the department sent out an email asking everyone to be considerate of their time and not bother them with every single little thing they need.

 

I.e., they used to book our flights and hotels and now we've been asked to do it ourselves.

 

Whomever is in charge has to make it clear to other managers who need your assistance to be considerate of your time and request only things they really need from you.

[Zapbasket]

Thanks for the responses. I'm going to start keeping a log from when I arrive to when I leave each day, listing each task and how long it took me to complete it.

 

The problem I see is that if I had uninterrupted time to complete each task, none would take me long at all. But I'll be partway into one task, get interrupted by a phone call while called on to complete another task, and then when I get back to that original task, it's like having to start all over. I'm not sure how to log the time for the original task.

 

The overarching problem is that I'm feeling overwhelmed because this job never evolves into greater responsibilities or a higher-level job title and pay grade. My boss told me he can't pay me any more than he already does. It's not just the amount of tasks but the fact that they never evolve into other, less menial tasks. The menial tasks basically define my job. I've talked with my boss numerous times about this and he has no interest in evolving this position into something else that better uses my abilities. He says he "perfectly understands" that a job like this is nothing more than a "stepping stone" to another job--but there is no clear progression path with this job. My strengths are as a creative--I'm a people person, very charismatic, and I have great ideas as well as the energy to execute them and to galvanize others; as well, I'm an excellent project manager. Frankly, no, I'm not "good" at a job as an Admin because I get bored with it and my approach to menial tasks is to parse them to the essentials and parcel them out to others so that I ultimately don't have to do them anymore. At the same time, I know how to "play at" being a good Admin in that I"m detail-oriented, organized, etc.

 

I'm just super-bored and frustrated as I can't see a path to something more and I have a boss who isn't going to give me any support in that effort.

[preraph]

Well, you may have to look for another job. No one wants to be mired in making other people look good and never get a raise for very long.

[Zapbasket]

Thanks, preraph. I think that's ultimately what it boils down to. A few days ago I hung a sign by my bathroom mirror that says, "Don't fear failure. Fear being in the same place a year from now." I think the bottom line is that I need to do what it takes so that by this time next year, I'm not still in this job--possibly not still at this company.

[Emilia]

You made the mistake of taking on your peers' work, that's what your boss doesn't get. It's not about being a people's person, it's the desire to be liked and now you are realising that they are taking advantage. You need to learn to be assertive and say no. That will leave you with more room to take on more responsibility, moving somewhere else won't help if you don't change the desire of being liked.

[Emilia]

Or if you can't evolve there, leave but don't use the same approach at the next place

[Zapbasket]

Or if you can't evolve there, leave but don't use the same approach at the next place

 

Thanks, Emilia. How would you recommend I ensure I take a new approach? The thing is, I do genuinely like people, and with my curiosity and charisma I am really good at striking up conversations with people as they come through the Admin office. I ask questions about their jobs, where they're from, we talk about skiing and mountains (since we're all in the ski industry). One reason I've gotten more work isn't, I believe, because people are taking advantage so much as I'm more likable than the other admins. I work 4, 10-hour days in my role and there is a woman who works the other 3 days so that this role is covered 7 days a week. She's quite a pill, generally unpleasant, old, doesn't ski, full of rules. So people wait until the days I'm at the desk to come get help. In my eyes, that's the sign that I'm doing my job well. But now it seems I'm paying for it and feeling that familiar frustration of seeing all I'm doing and seeing that I'm not getting paid commensurate with what I feel I'm worth (for example, the other lady on this job is paid the same as I am).

 

So it's like this thing that starts off as a real strength and dare I say it, asset, ends up burning me out in the end. Where am I going wrong / too far / ??? / in my interactions with the many people--employees, managers, guests--who come into my office? Should I be less friendly? Less willing to engage?

[GemmaUK]

--I need to buy a bus pass.

--Can I get some [free exchange passes to other resorts]? These have to be completed by hand; there's a separate card for each day; they then have to be entered onto a spreadsheet, each time about 10 pieces of data.

--Can you help me send a fax?

--A guest just called Advance Ticketing with a complaint; can you talk to him/her?

--I can't get the copier to do _____. Can you show me how?

--UPS with several deliveries / mailman with the mail (twice a day) / FedEx / our own shipping department with deliveries. I have to sort all packages and inform people by phone or email that they are in the Admin office waiting.

--I have ___ questions about ____ event that's happening this week.

--Can you please reserve the conference room for me for ____?

 

I've pulled out this list so I can refer back to it but you have mentioned at least one other thing which I'll talk about here too.

 

These reports you do each day. Clearly not everyone reads/needs them and those who do nee them probably don't look at them every day.

Send a mail to all who receive them and say that from now on these will be emailed to all who actually need them, ask how often they need to have them too. You may well find that you would only need to send tem to two people only once a week and they can print them themselves if they need to.

You are wasting time, trees and the stationery budget printing all of that off each day.

 

For passes there is likely to be elements of the forms which are standard - like for the John, Mary, Joe and Stef they are all in XYZ department and their department code is 123/456ABC so you could fill that part in before printing the forms off. There will also be locations which you use time and again and those can be pre-filled too - these can all be kept in a folder in sections.

You could even pre-fill their names.

There will be parts of that form which the person can fill out themselves - so ask them to.

You can scan in the forms and keep them all in a file with a reference and use the scanned copies to copy typed elements into your spreadsheet.

You could likely use some of this for the bus passes also.

 

I would suggest making it a daily thing that they can collect passes between say 3 & 4 pm (unless this then clashes with the time you have parcels being collected?

If it does clash make it 2-3pm.

For parcels arriving clear a space where they can be safely stored and then send a group mail to those who have parcels saying they can be collected between 2 & 3 pm.

You will then know your main interruption time will be that hour per day.

 

For the fax machine the usual questions are 'do I need to dial 9 before I put the number in?' and 'which way up does the document go?'. Type up some instructions and stick them to the wall - let people know the instructions are there. Same for the copier too. You are there if they have a problem - but otherwise they should be savvy enough to do it themselves.

 

If it is your job to book rooms then it' your job - however, if there is a system which everyone can see to book then you should let them know how to find it so they can use it themselves.

 

 

Even just by making small changes like these you will be giving yourself more time to do other things - PLUS - you will be showing and using initiative.

Also, just because someone is higher up doesn't mean you jump - I they want you to do XYZ job six times a day it's likely over the top and unreasonable - negotiate it down to two.

Also, don't have your lunch at your desk.

 

Initiative is what leads to pay rises and promotions.

[JustAddIce]

Thanks for the responses. I'm going to start keeping a log from when I arrive to when I leave each day, listing each task and how long it took me to complete it.

 

The problem I see is that if I had uninterrupted time to complete each task, none would take me long at all. But I'll be partway into one task, get interrupted by a phone call while called on to complete another task, and then when I get back to that original task, it's like having to start all over. I'm not sure how to log the time for the original task.

 

That's why I suggested using Excel to log your tasks instead of pen and notepad. I have to keep track of my time in an increment of 6 minutes or 15 minutes depending on projects. I also have to juggle several projects on a daily basis with multiple interruptions (i.e meetings, phone calls, helping team members with whatever they need). I would create an Excel workbook with each tab represents a week. Start one column as a description of tasks, one column as "start", the next column as "stop" etc and several columns to the right, I would create a column with a simple formula to calculate my time to .1 of the hour. I would log the exact time I start and stop a task. It may sound complicated but it's pretty simple and I could present my time sheet to my partners or clients at a moment's notice.

 

The overarching problem is that I'm feeling overwhelmed because this job never evolves into greater responsibilities or a higher-level job title and pay grade. My boss told me he can't pay me any more than he already does. It's not just the amount of tasks but the fact that they never evolve into other, less menial tasks. The menial tasks basically define my job. I've talked with my boss numerous times about this and he has no interest in evolving this position into something else that better uses my abilities. He says he "perfectly understands" that a job like this is nothing more than a "stepping stone" to another job--but there is no clear progression path with this job. My strengths are as a creative--I'm a people person, very charismatic, and I have great ideas as well as the energy to execute them and to galvanize others; as well, I'm an excellent project manager. Frankly, no, I'm not "good" at a job as an Admin because I get bored with it and my approach to menial tasks is to parse them to the essentials and parcel them out to others so that I ultimately don't have to do them anymore. At the same time, I know how to "play at" being a good Admin in that I"m detail-oriented, organized, etc.

 

I'm just super-bored and frustrated as I can't see a path to something more and I have a boss who isn't going to give me any support in that effort.

 

I hear you. Here's my next suggestion: make it your goal to convince your boss to upgrade your title and responsibilities. Leverage your strengths! Consider it a challenge so you won't get bored and frustrated. Show him that you're capable of handling more than your current work load; that you can delegate work to others and find ways to cut cost etc.

 

Good people skills are an asset. Instead of being less friendly, less willing to engage, I would suggest that you learn to manage expectations. You can set boundaries but if you are not going to enforce it, people will not respect you or your boundaries.

[GemmaUK]

I've tried keeping a log in the past but to be honest it's just extra work.

No manager has ever paid any attention to a log as all it proves is that you can do your job but also have time to keep a log of it all.

[JustAddIce]

Maintaining a manual time sheet is a pain in the butt but it has become my second nature. I have to do it as it's part of my job to account for my time. I'm in professional service so my bosses (and my clients) do scrutinize time sheets.

 

Keeping a log does not necessarily mean one can do one's job. It's more about discipline than proficient or efficient. The reason I suggested the OP to keep track of their tasks is because their boss doesn't know what's on his emoloyee's plate and doesn't appear to respect the employee's position and to certain extents, their capability. It's one of the ways to collect data so the OP can either find ways to improve their efficiency or to ask for more help.

[Zapbasket]

Thanks for the advice. I started keeping a log of my activities this week. I'm doing it for myself for now, just to see what patterns, if any, reveal themselves.

 

What I've noticed so far is that every time an employee who is not part of my office comes to my desk for something, be it help with doing something on the computer or at the copier or questions about a lost item or a bus pass or free passes to other resorts, I completely lose track of what I was doing before they interrupted me. It detracts my focus and sometimes I don't recover it. Multiply that one interruption by the dozens I get in a day and my whole day becomes about putting out the "fires" of other people's needs.

 

I was gratified also that yesterday, I was in the bathroom, and when I emerged, my boss was at my desk selling an employee a bus pass. When the employee left, my boss said, "He was so rude! He just barged in and said, 'Bus pass.' Didn't even say please or even thank you." I replied, "Yes, it's often like this. It can really wear you down after a while."

 

And then on a separate but related note, I wanted to ask your collective advice about this situation that happened at work this week. On Wednesday, I had to leave my desk at 2:45pm to go to a company-wide meeting for managers that was going to run until the end of the day. I left the usual sign up prominently on my desk, with a sticky note that said, "Wed., 2/10, 2:45pm. Gone for the rest of the day to a meeting. Please read the sign for the names of other people who can help you."

 

In the meeting, one of my coworkers texted me: "I sold a guy who waited in your office for 15 minutes 2 bus passes. I felt really bad for him and he was going to wait until you returned."

 

In light of all the things I've shared in this thread, my first reaction was annoyance and that sense that things just HAVE to change or I'm going to lose it. I replied:

 

"Thanks. You don't have to do that. Mostly because I am trying to 'train' people that there are other point people from whom they can get bus passes and passes to other resorts. These point people are clearly named, with contact info, on the sign I place prominently on my desk any time I am gone. I am feeling overwhelmed with how many departments come to me when oftentimes their own managers or departmental administration can sell bus passes and passes to other resorts. So please, in the future show people my sign and send them on their way. It sets a better precedent and I am tired of feeling like I can't leave my desk for fear someone will dumbly wait there until I return rather than read my sign and go where they really should have gone in the first place. Sorry for the novel but this is what I need to help me stay positive in this job and make it a more efficient role going forward. Thanks."

 

Her text cost me my concentration on the meeting; I just felt really frustrated as I sat there. This coworker had also called me the night before on my cell phone, and hadn't left a message. I asked her at work what she'd called about, thinking she was going to ask me to do something socially outside of work, or that she wanted to vent about her poor husband who has shingles. She said, "Oh, I just wanted to find out about the passes to other mountains and whether my husband could get one for free, too." I felt annoyed about that; I don't want to answer questions about that outside of my work hours. So, while sitting at the meeting, I followed up my previous text with this text:

 

"And, I know you didn't come from any ill intent, but please never call me on m y cell to ask about things like passes to other resorts. People I know from [another department] have been doing that and it's annoying: usually it's after I have left work, and it makes me feel like in others' eyes the only thing my role is good for is on-demand free passes to other mountains and bus passes. I am beginning to feel demoralized and burnt out, and to preserve my good energy I need to set some boundaries."

 

She did try to call me shortly after that, but I was headed to another, outside-of-work meeting and couldn't answer. She didn't leave a message. I saw her throughout the day the next day at work, and not once did she bring up our message exchange. She even started talking to me about an apartment she found on Craigslist that's much cheaper than the one I'm renting, so it's not like she didn't have time or the opportunity. She said absolutely NOTHING about what I'd texted her, and I'm utterly baffled. I wasn't expecting a big conversation about it, just something along the lines of, "I understand and in the future, I'll do as you requested."

 

I feel hurt; she's sort-of a friend outside of work, or so I have thought, but personal feelings aside, I think it's really rude to interrupt me in a meeting as she did and then not even acknowledge what I said, not offer any kind of mea culpa or even an, "I understand." Her silence makes me feel she doesn't really care how I feel or what I need and couldn't be bothered. I mean, what gives? My texts certainly merited some kind of response, no? Should I say something to her along these lines next week when she tries to initiate inane chit-chat with me: "Hey, you never responded to my texts. I wasn't looking for a big discussion about it but at least expected an acknowledgement of some sort."

 

This interaction just made me feel even more and and

 

Advice is appreciated.