blackbird_brokenwing Posted February 5, 2016 Share Posted February 5, 2016 It's been 11 days since I was left (without a word since) and as expected, the emotions are coming in waves. This second week has been far harder than the first, and for the first time I started feeling immense panic last night and on into today. She and I were the same person as far as interests in music and movies, what styles we find attractive, and the culture we like to surround ourselves in. We aligned perfectly like this. This morning I think I really had a panic attack and broke down crying and grasping for breath, feeling utterly hopeless that I would ever find someone to share these things with again and that I was doomed to loneliness in my interests. I believe in divine intervention because that was two hours ago and now I feel a lot more calm. But I don't expect that to be the last of it. Has anyone else felt this extreme panic? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
AMJ Posted February 5, 2016 Share Posted February 5, 2016 Yes, I have. It sucks. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted February 5, 2016 Share Posted February 5, 2016 As long as you stay within that subculture, you will find others with whom you share tastes and interests. Obviously, you didn't see eye to eye about something or it would have worked out. Take a deep breath and don't give yourself too much time to ruminate. Get out with your friends or go travel and don't talk about her when you do. Refocus. The sooner you do that, the sooner it will start to get better. Good luck. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
spiderowl Posted February 5, 2016 Share Posted February 5, 2016 I am sorry to hear what's happened. Yes, I've had that kind of panic too. It's the body's reaction to something shocking it can't understand. It may come and go for a few days. Crying is your best release. She's just not the person you thought she was. Make a list of the bad things about her and the relationship. You will start to see all was not perfect. Having been through this myself, it does fade and eventually you wonder why ever wanted to date her. Others will come along who seem far more interesting and you'll be glad you are free to pursue them. You will realise she wasn't the right one and that you had a lucky escape. Yes, I know it doesn't feel like that now, it just hurts like hell. Talk to friends and family, be with people who care about you. Ride through it until the pain fades and you start looking outwards again. Warm hugs xxxx Link to post Share on other sites
notoriginal Posted February 5, 2016 Share Posted February 5, 2016 (edited) That's sweet. I once howled like an animal and cried like a small child for a week because of some insensitive jerk that presented himself like a 'good guy' in the beginning Another person I know was paralyzed, in shock after her ex left. She couldn't move or talk People are cruel, especially to other people that (are in) love (with) them It will pass... Not the cruelty of life, but at least this state. Since she treated you like this, it meant that your love for her was ungrounded, or you made a really big mistake. I know the situation of finding the 'perfect one' (just being in love, then you always think they're the one). Recently some guy also rejected. Normally I would be devastated, but this time I didn't even care, if he was so perfect he would never have rejected me. You get used to it. Yes, illusions in the area of love can be hard to let go of but better do it now it will save you further pain. I don't believe in a relationship anymore, not in a satisfying one for me at least. Realizing this was the biggest relief ever. Edited February 6, 2016 by notoriginal Link to post Share on other sites
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