Will my ex regret leaving me if I was clingy after the break up?

[karen18]

My boyfriend and I were together for two and a half years. he said I was the love of his life and we were meant for each other and he'd never find another like me. then he cheated on me and lied about it then broke up with me. He hooked up with another girl a week later. He said he still loved me and that we would get back together eventually. this all happened nine months ago.

 

We stayed in touch since the break up on and off, and hung out a total of 11 times since ending things. the last time we saw each other was about two weeks ago. each time we saw each other it was the same as when we were dating (kissed, cuddled, hugged, flirted, etc.).

 

now suddenly he says he is done with me for good. he said he had only been using me since the break up and has no feelings for me. he said he doesn't want me in his life or to stay in touch and continue seeing me. that he has moved on and I should do the same.

 

he says he has a hard time telling me the truth because he doesn't like to hurt my feelings. he said he still cares about me as a person but not how he used to.

 

is there any way I can get him back or is it too late? I was clingy towards him after the initial break up, but he got over it since we started hanging out again. I am studying abroad now until June. if I go NC now for 4 months or so will this make him miss me? will he ever regret his decision of leaving me?

 

He blocked me on all social media and has started talking to another girl. he says he likes her a lot, although he has been cheating on her with me for the past 2 months.

 

I feel like the reason he doesn't want to be with me right now is because he is not looking for a serious relationship, but perhaps down the road he may change his mind when he is looking to settle down.

 

any insight is appreciated! looking for honest answers! thank you!

[cupcakebunny]

First things first, NC is not a tool to get back into the relationship. It's not meant to work that way. NC is for you. You can heal, move on, reflect, whatever. If you're using it as a way to manipulate him to getting back together then the relationship will be doomed to fail. In your case, it's sort of awesome timing you're going to be abroad. You'll have stuff to do. Be more focused and it will be a bit harder to be tempted to get in touch with him. Throw yourself into that and really just separate yourself.

 

 

2nd thing - His behavior sucks. Now this will hurt: It's sort of standard for the dumpers to do this though. He's afraid of letting go because he's not sure life without you will be any better. He used that 9 months to test the waters. He did. And he's confident now. He's done. Yes he may miss you, but hopefully in 4 months you won't miss him. And I don't think you should, I don't think he can offer you stability and care in anyway.

[darkbloom]

My boyfriend and I were together for two and a half years. he said I was the love of his life and we were meant for each other and he'd never find another like me. then he cheated on me and lied about it then broke up with me. He hooked up with another girl a week later. He said he still loved me and that we would get back together eventually. this all happened nine months ago.

 

I'm going to tell you something that is very hard to hear. Sometimes, guys say things that they don't mean. If you really were the love of his life and 'meant' for each other, he wouldn't have cheated. And then lied. And then cheated again.

 

We stayed in touch since the break up on and off, and hung out a total of 11 times since ending things. the last time we saw each other was about two weeks ago. each time we saw each other it was the same as when we were dating (kissed, cuddled, hugged, flirted, etc.).

 

So wait, after he cheated on you twice and broke up with you, you kept speaking to him AND hanging out with him? Yikes. He knows that he can do whatever he wants to do and you will always be there as his safety net.

 

now suddenly he says he is done with me for good. he said he had only been using me since the break up and has no feelings for me. he said he doesn't want me in his life or to stay in touch and continue seeing me. that he has moved on and I should do the same.

 

This is the most honest he has been with you. He is done with you for good because he found someone else that he intends to commit to. Of course he has moved on. You helped him do it. He got to breakup with you and have no commitment but you still stroked his ego and became his back up plan when he didn't have another girl to run to. He doesn't want you in his life anymore because I guarantee you his new girl has asked him not to have you there.

 

he says he has a hard time telling me the truth because he doesn't like to hurt my feelings. he said he still cares about me as a person but not how he used to.

 

This is an excuse to do what he wants to do. He lied to you and didn't tell you the truth because he didn't want to deal with the consequences. Now that he has someone new he doesn't really care about your feelings anymore.

 

is there any way I can get him back or is it too late? I was clingy towards him after the initial break up, but he got over it since we started hanging out again. I am studying abroad now until June. if I go NC now for 4 months or so will this make him miss me? will he ever regret his decision of leaving me?

 

You CANNOT use NC to manipulate anyone to get back together with you. You cannot control him or his actions. I think your relationship is officially over. You should also start asking yourself WHY you would want to get back together with someone who cheated and lied to you multiple times. And put your feelings second to what he wanted to do for 9 months. He sounds like a dirtbag.

 

He blocked me on all social media and has started talking to another girl. he says he likes her a lot, although he has been cheating on her with me for the past 2 months.

 

He sounds like a winner. Cheating on another girl with you. Have some self respect! You do not deserve to be a consolation prize.

 

I feel like the reason he doesn't want to be with me right now is because he is not looking for a serious relationship, but perhaps down the road he may change his mind when he is looking to settle down.

 

This is a lie you are telling yourself. If he wanted to be with you, he would be. It's really that simple. Let this jerk go and work on yourself. Who wants to settle down with a cheater??????

 

any insight is appreciated! looking for honest answers! thank you!