Do my stretch marks keep guys away?

[gaius]

Interesting comparative story:laugh:

 

I understand what you're saying. It's definitely hard though. I just want to hide all the signs of "fatness". Anyone who has lost alot of weight, especially at a young age, will understand what I mean.

 

Thanks for all the support everyone! It's nice how encouraging the forum is.

I know what you mean nautical, I lost a lot of weight too. But at the end of the day you're denying these guys a level of intimacy by not showing and wanting them to see you. That and the fact you don't really fully love or accept yourself will turn off a good man way more than the marks themselves. If they even do at all.

 

There was a woman on here a while back who had the same thing going on and she made a great post about how it seemed like the more loserish, insecure guys she dated had more of a problem with it while the in shape, together guys never had any issues. Anyone who does have an issue is someone you probably don't want to date anyway.

[xxoo]

I want to challenge the idea that stretch marks are anything to be embarrassed about or ashamed of. I truly am not embarrassed about mine. Zero insecurity. I'm actually quite proud of them.

 

I work hard to be in great shape. I enjoy it, so it's not a huge struggle, but it is an effort and something I'm proud of. My stretch marks show how much of an achievement that is--I've been larger (growing babies in my case) and I still got back in this shape.

 

If you could spin it in your head to a point where you are simply PROUD of yourself for the journey you've traveled and where you have arrived, you may find that you are much more comfortable in your skin, even in a bikini

[WaitingForBardot]

...

It makes it sound like all "good" guys are happy with any woman, so long as she has a vagina and boobs??...and if a guy has any standards of what he wants in a woman's body, then he is "not right"??Nothing else matters???

...

Not that your comment was directed at me, but this is not really what I mean when I say...

 

...

The guys worth your time just aren't going to care.

I'm not saying these guys aren't worth anyone's time, I'm saying they aren't worth her time. Just like when a woman doesn't like me because I'm bald...-ish. ..lol.. Given that plenty of men/women simply don't care, why should either of us waste time with ones that do? (rhetorical question)

[carhill]

Yep, no different than the women, many, who found my premature baldness unattractive. They had their physical appearance preferences and I did not meet them and that, as they say, is that. It doesn't make them horrible people or wrong, rather discriminating, and they have every right to be so, for any reason, or no reason at all. That's the beauty of mating. We get to choose.

 

The main difference is, unless the OP goes around in a bikini, which she states she's never worn, men will never know about her stretch marks until she tells them or removes her clothing. That could result in some emotional attachment, something which never would occur with the appearance of my head, which is visible for all to see. In that regard, she has an advantage, quantity unknown.

Edited February 6, 2016 by carhill

[Michelle ma Belle]

I've gained and lost weight over the years due to my eating disorder, birthed a 10lb baby through C-section AND had a breast reduction at age 20. I have scars and flaws and it has NEVER interfered with any of my relationships or my sex love life. I'm more sexually active and fulfilled than ever before in my life and I have yet to be with a man who even remembered I had any flaws to begin with

[WaitingForBardot]

...

That could result in some emotional attachment, something which never would occur with the appearance of my head, which is visible for all to see. In that regard, she has an advantage, quantity unknown.

I was taking a break on a bench during a run and this woman sat down and started chatting me up. She was very engaged until I took off my cap. You should have seen her face fall when she saw my head. I wasn't offended, she likes what she likes, just like me and everyone else.

 

Hopefully she wasn't too emotionally attached after a 5 minute conversation... ..lol..

[carhill]

You know, I get the OP's trepidation. I can imagine a guy telling her she looks 15 years younger if she wasn't wearing a bikini. Lead balloon! Ever hear that from a woman when taking your hat off? Yup! I totally get where the OP is coming from and, man, it's a cruel world out there. Either develop a thick skin or die.

[SSJROMANCE]

First off congrats on your weight loss and keeping it off. A great achievement. Secondly men who care about your scars are shallow and you should stay far away from them. There are plenty of men out there who will love you for who you are. Don't settle for anything less.

[nauticalpoem]

 

But you do know that they can be removed, right? It takes a while but it's doable...Get a 1.5mm dermaroller...

 

 

As someone who has used everything (including multiple different derma rollers and creams) I am not sure I believe this to be true. I tried single needling for a while... Maybe it made the texture slightly better? If I had one or two stretchmarks I'd be willing to try more. But there's no way to work on that many. And it really REALLY hurts to try it any where other than my belly

 

Arms or hips? OUCH.

[nauticalpoem]

Interesting thought:

 

I have a ~5 inch scare on my neck (problems with a gland when I was in hs). At first I was so humiliated I wore scarves year-round, even in summer. But for the most part I am over it. Granted, that's partially because the scar grew incorrectly so I had two plastic surgeries to make it better. It looks 10x less grotesque now. Still it hardly bothers me even though people ask about it or at least stare at it regularly.

 

I wonder if it's because I can't really hide it (wearing scarves all the time really sucks) so the public-ness forced me to get use to it? Every time I look in the mirror I see it and it has just became part of me. My SM on the other hand, they're hidden so I never really get use to them.

 

OR maybe it's because I am so deeply ashamed of fatness. My neck scar seems from a more "legitimate" reason.

Edited February 6, 2016 by nauticalpoem
typo

[thefooloftheyear]

Have you considered maybe a few tattoos?

 

Believe it or not, they can really help some people deal with body issues...

 

TFY

[xxoo]

 

I wonder if it's because I can't really hide it (wearing scarves all the time really sucks) so the public-ness forced me to get use to it? Every time I look in the mirror I see it and it has just became part of me. My SM on the other hand, they're hidden so I never really get use to them.

 

YES. There is research to back this up. Faults that are hidden do tend to create more shame, directly because they are hidden and there is worry about them being accepted upon reveal.

 

I suggest bikini therapy If anyone is focusing on my stretch marks when I'm at the beach, I haven't noticed

[jen1447]

Interesting thought:

 

I have a ~5 inch scare on my neck (problems with a gland when I was in hs). At first I was so humiliated I wore scarves year-round, even in summer. But for the most part I am over it. Granted, that's partially because the scar grew incorrectly so I had two plastic surgeries to make it better. It looks 10x less grotesque now. Still it hardly bothers me even though people ask about it or at least stare at it regularly.

 

I wonder if it's because I can't really hide it (wearing scarves all the time really sucks) so the public-ness forced me to get use to it? Every time I look in the mirror I see it and it has just became part of me. My SM on the other hand, they're hidden so I never really get use to them.

 

OR maybe it's because I am so deeply ashamed of fatness. My neck scar seems from a more "legitimate" reason.

 

I actually find scars kinda sexy. Not innately sexy (and obvs there are some that are more extreme than others) but moreso like a mark of individuality. That scar is you to a large extent, so if I like you, I'll like your scar.

[Popsicle]

I actually find scars kinda sexy. Not innately sexy (and obvs there are some that are more extreme than others) but moreso like a mark of individuality. That scar is you to a large extent, so if I like you, I'll like your scar.

 

Agreed. Scars are definitely sexy.

[Sarabi]

...Did not read the whole thread but wanted to ask...do you use cocoa butter?

If your stretch marks bother you (or any scar) then use it, it helps them fade, trust me

It takes time, a lot of time...but you will see an improvement.

Plus it smells gorgeous. My personal recommendation is a tub of Palmers.

 

Failing that you could try bio-oil (I have never used this though)

[nauticalpoem]

..do you use cocoa butter?

 

I've used basically everything. Thanks for the advice though. Cocoa butter is just great your your skin. I should use it more often.

 

My SM are very old (started getting them when I was like 8). They're very faded but it's mostly a texture thing.

[Rejected Rosebud]

Interesting comments....

 

So it would be "wrong" for a guy to be turned off by a woman that has some body issues (like stretchmarks), but it's just a guys tough luck if a woman doesn't like the fact that he's short, has a little dick, a hairy back, or has moobs???

 

Nobody said that at all. The point is that a guy who is really into her is not going to dump her because of stretch marks. That would be very unusual.

[Chris2016]

Interesting thought:

 

I have a ~5 inch scare on my neck (problems with a gland when I was in hs). At first I was so humiliated I wore scarves year-round, even in summer. But for the most part I am over it. Granted, that's partially because the scar grew incorrectly so I had two plastic surgeries to make it better. It looks 10x less grotesque now. Still it hardly bothers me even though people ask about it or at least stare at it regularly.

 

I wonder if it's because I can't really hide it (wearing scarves all the time really sucks) so the public-ness forced me to get use to it? Every time I look in the mirror I see it and it has just became part of me. My SM on the other hand, they're hidden so I never really get use to them.

 

OR maybe it's because I am so deeply ashamed of fatness. My neck scar seems from a more "legitimate" reason.

 

Your stretch marks are also from a legitimate reason. What if you hadn't lost the weight?

 

But I hear ya, dealing with scars myself. Not the kind that makes me look like I've been in a knife fight. Not easy, but life goes on.

[S_A]

Fact - we all see ourselves about 500% more critically than anyone else does.

 

Unless you're a guy. Then you see yourself as 500% better than everyone else does.