cesarbohorquez Posted February 7, 2016 Share Posted February 7, 2016 I've been seeing this girl for some time. We've both been through some bad relationships and we have a really good connection. She says she really likes me and wants to be with me and only me. I like her as well and see a lot of potential in our relationship. I recently asked her to be my girlfriend so we are committed to each other. Anyways, last night we went out to a a bar with her best friend and her husband. All night it was good, pretty much perfect. We we're all having drinks and she is a light drinker so she got pretty tipsy really fast, maybe even drunk. So she goes to the bathroom with her friend and leaves her phone with me. I'm there taking to her best friends husband and just hanging out. Then her phone gets a call from a number that's not saved on her phone. I see it but don't pick it up since I didn't want to overstep my boundaries. I didn't think much of it at all, just thought it was a wrong number. When she comes back, I tell her she had a missed call. So she was like oh yeah, I gave my number to some guy and I was like wtf? Why? She said they were waiting in line for the bathroom and some guy asked her and her friend for their numbers. Her best friend didn't give out her number but she did. She gave me the excuse that she was gonna give him a wrong number but she gave him her real number by mistake. I obviously called bull**** on it and get really pissed cause now I feel like she's lying to me. Then she says that the guy was more interested in her friend than her but then why did she give him HER number? Then she said he was gay and of course I call bull**** and get even more mad. She spends the next hour apologizing and how she was sorry and made a mistake and that she's with me and only wants to be with me and that she's my girlfriend and had been all night with me which is true. I've had bad experiences with my ex girlfriend and this I'd a big red flag for me. Also, if it would have been the other way around, she would have dumped my ass on the spot. I dunno if I should let this go or not. Not sure what to think, she hasn't given me any reason to really doubt her until now and it might seem like a little thing but coming from a bad relationship this is a red flag for me. Thanks for your help and if you need more info, just ask me... Link to post Share on other sites
frigginlost Posted February 7, 2016 Share Posted February 7, 2016 Sorry man, I'm call bull****. It's not the fact that she gave the number as I can buy the "I accidentally gave the real one" excuse if she was drunk. What I don't like is that she did not immediately text that number back that she has a boyfriend. He now has an "in' to contact her at will... If it were me, I would ask if he has tried to contact her again. If so, I would bolt as it proves that she is keeping communication open with him... Link to post Share on other sites
Author cesarbohorquez Posted February 7, 2016 Author Share Posted February 7, 2016 Yeah, I forgot to mention. She did say she had a boyfriend and she also deleted the number from her incoming calls list in font of me. But I feel like if the guy wouldn't have called her and i hadn't seen the call come in then she wouldn't had told me about it. Link to post Share on other sites
frigginlost Posted February 7, 2016 Share Posted February 7, 2016 Yeah, I forgot to mention. She did say she had a boyfriend and she also deleted the number from her incoming calls list in font of me. But I feel like if the guy wouldn't have called her and i hadn't seen the call come in then she wouldn't had told me about it. Oh, okay. Thanks I would say no harm no foul. All good. Don't worry about her not telling you about it. She probably did not want to cause an issue. Go have fun! Link to post Share on other sites
Space Ritual Posted February 7, 2016 Share Posted February 7, 2016 Yeah, I forgot to mention. She did say she had a boyfriend and she also deleted the number from her incoming calls list in font of me. But I feel like if the guy wouldn't have called her and i hadn't seen the call come in then she wouldn't had told me about it. Dude come on, Why would you even have to think about this? This is not some minor transgression. No one just does nothing like that unless they had intent. Her stupidity was a gift to you. Now you know exactly what type of woman you are dating. If you want to be a Jail Warden for the rest for your relationship snooping in her stuff and wondering what she is doing when not with you, be my guest. But it will rip you up inside and destroy the relationship even further. "In vino veritas", man...In wine there is Truth. Get rid of her now or you'll regret it. I am sorry but that was a brazen and deliberate move on her part to give out a phone number. The only reason she got caught is this idiot guy was tapping the number to make sure it was legit. Had he not done it you would have never known. Your relationship is Toast. You should actually thank the guy who called. If it hadn't been him it would have been some other guy soon enough. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted February 7, 2016 Share Posted February 7, 2016 Yikes, very bad sign. I'm a woman too and I have never given out my number to a guy who I didn't want calling me. Of course she wouldn't have told you about it if you hadn't caught her. Whoopdee-doo, she deleted his number - the problem is that she gave it to him in the first place. And he's gay? Yeah, right. Why would a gay man try to get the number of two women in line for the bathroom at a bar? When just a moment before that she was claiming he was interested in her friend? It's an obvious and pathetic lie. Sorry but I see this as a dump-able offense. This girl failed the Girlfriend Test, miserably. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Space Ritual Posted February 7, 2016 Share Posted February 7, 2016 And he's gay? Yeah, right. Why would a gay man try to get the number of two women in line for the bathroom at a bar? When just a moment before that she was claiming he was interested in her friend? It's an obvious and pathetic lie. I think that was the most hilarious part of her whole excuse. If I was OP I would have left her at the bar and told other couple they were with to piss off too. The other chick knew what was going on and was more than happy to keep her mouth shut about it until the phone went off. I'd lose them as friends as well. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted February 7, 2016 Share Posted February 7, 2016 I'd say her excuses are BS, but as a woman I know some women find it hard to say no or think fast enough to avoid stuff like this. You would know if she's like that or not. Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted February 8, 2016 Share Posted February 8, 2016 Well now you know exactly how she views your relationship....not so much. I would bail out on this one. You think this will be it??? You are only fooling yourself. Just think what she has been doing all this time behind your back before you made it official. Link to post Share on other sites
Darren Steez Posted February 8, 2016 Share Posted February 8, 2016 and this was a gay guy standing in line for the bathroom? Imagine if it was a hunky straight guy..she would have sculpted her number in stone and erected it in front of his house 1 Link to post Share on other sites
lolablue17 Posted February 8, 2016 Share Posted February 8, 2016 If her excuse is her being drunk, than it proves that while being drunk she can easily cheat. So it's either she promises to never getting drunk again in her life, or she accepts her willingness to cheat on you in the future. See the catch? One thing bothers me more. I don't like how her story + version has changed few times in just a few minutes. First she tells you that she meant to give him a fake number, then she changes version to "He is gay", Than she agrees that it was a mistake, and appologizes to you. It's a minor thing, but it reveals something about her personality: It says a lot where her instincts turn when she is caught doing thing she shouldn't do: To lie, and BS you all over your face. It means that honesty is not the first choice for her when getting caught. It's definitely a red flag. Link to post Share on other sites
fenix Posted February 8, 2016 Share Posted February 8, 2016 Red flag my friend... HUGE red flag!! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
PegNosePete Posted February 8, 2016 Share Posted February 8, 2016 I could possibly buy her first excuse, that she was trying to give a wrong number, but in her drunkenness gave her real one by mistake. That is a slip of the tongue that I could possibly believe. But then she started switching excuses, one after the other. That reduces the credibility of her story considerably. If her first excuse was true then she would have stuck to it. No, she gave him her number deliberately because she was interested. This is a taste of things to come, if you stick with her. I would bail. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted February 8, 2016 Share Posted February 8, 2016 Maya Angelou: 'When People Show You Who They Are, Believe Them' 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Spikiera Posted February 10, 2016 Share Posted February 10, 2016 I will go against all the other posters and say give her one more chance. If like you described, every aspect of the relationship is really good, and you guys have good connections, she may deserve one more shot. If things like this happen again, run for your life. Link to post Share on other sites
LostOnes05 Posted February 10, 2016 Share Posted February 10, 2016 This is a red flag you better take heed to. Do you know how easy it is to get the number from the phone bill online if they talked before? Erasing it was just for show. And a child in Pre-K could probably lie better than that. I'd venture to say that it isn't the first time he's called her. I had this happen to me with my first girlfriend. Dump her and keep it moving, it was just good that you caught it and uncovered her lie. Link to post Share on other sites
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