My brother is a heroin addict still after 8 years

[Jlmic1]

Originally posted by NiCoLe20

give the letter thing i mentioned above a shot, see what happens from there

 

I have done that pretty recently. It is a really good idea. I wrote a letter out of frustration instead of out of love. I will suggest that everyone who loves him try writing a heart felt letter. You're right, it is soooooooo much easier to write your feelings than it is to say them out loud.

[alphamale]

many times you will find that addicts and substance abusers have some type of underlying and undiagnosed mental illness which causes them to use in the 1st place.

 

the majority of mentally ill people have not been diagnosed. something like 60%. they use their drug of choice to make themselves feel better or normal. it is self medication.

[scarlyjones]

He thinks he can hide it. He probably denies it when your mom says something about him being F'd up. Just keep in mind that when your family turns its back on him its with the hope that it gets him to SEE his problem and try to get help. Not that he doesnt and dies. So hope is good.

[Groovy]

My brother finally is going to meetings for drugs and alcohol. I think it's because my mom kicked his a$$ out the door at the age of 32. She said when she is gone for good no one will be there to hold the pillow and she is just enabling bad habits. I was scared for him because he has a lot of problems and is a threat to himself and others. He lived in the street for a while. He went on meds to control manic depression.

 

Alphamale is right, it is self medication. It's no fun being an addict and they all want to quit despite what goes on, because getting out of it all is too hard. Understand you can be there for a person but you can't make them do it. I know, it is like watching them kill themselves and ruin the young future closing doors for good. Try to get some distance from it all by accepting he is his own person, say a prayer and just let him know how you feel. Maybe provide resource information. There is hope, but he needs to do this on his own. It may be just the feelings he has or he may need to hit the ultimate rock bottom to wake up. Offer the support and I truely wish you the best. Keep us posted.

[scarlyjones]

AA's first of the twelve steps says:

 

"We admitted we were powerless over alcohol, that our lives had become unmanagable"

 

The biggest thing addicts need to "get real" with is the second part of that sentence. Most addicts in the later stages of addiction already KNOW they have a problem. They can admit they are drug addicts or alcoholics or both,...its that 2nd part they struggle with. Nobody wants to admit they cant fix their lives by themselves. They refuse to admit that there lives have become sooo unmanagable, that they can no longer find the answers alone. Some alcoholics try to quit on their own. They try "O'Dooles",....or "Sharps". That leads them back to the real stuff. Some think BEER was their downfall,..so they limit it to hard liquor. That doesnt work. Ive even seen people try pouring pepsi or coke into empty beer bottles,..just to "get the feeling" of the bottle in their hands minus the booze. What they dont understand is,..they need to figure out a way to "NOT WANT" that feeling anymore. You cant sit in a bar and drink coffee. I firmly believe,.."If you hang out at the barber shop long enough,..sooner or later, you're going to get a haircut"