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Confused and irritated


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blackendangel13

Ok so long story as short as possible, my best friend and I started off as emotional rebounds. We met each other when we both just got out of serious relationships and became each other's rock. We are very close and understand everything about each other. When we first started seeing each other, there was romance but no sex. We would hang out and kissed maybe a handful of times. Anyhow, he has been super busy and blowing me off lately. He hasn't been returning my phone calls. In fact the last time we talked had been three weeks prior where he promised me we'd hang out. Fast forward three weeks.

 

I go to a place I know I will see him. I pick on him and make light of him blowing me off. He says he has been busy and apologizes profusely for not calling. So I take it as that and we had a great night. We talked and flirted (nothing new) and just enjoyed each other's company. He told me about a girl he is seeing who lives 5+ hours away and how she wants to settle down and he doesn't. He just wants the FWB with her but is afraid to rock the boat knowing she will completely cut him off if he says that. So now he is just dodging bullets and trying to avoid her conversations about what cheating means in their relationship, which he says there is no cheating because they are not together.

 

Anyway, I was leaving and he walked me to my car. I gave him a hug and he kissed me. At least I think he kissed me, I was a little drunk. Eitherway there was a kiss. I didn't even get to enjoy it and he freaked out saying "dammit she will know". Now my lips were still in kissing position while he was freaking out because its been a long time since I was kissed lol. Anyhow I leave and see him again last night. He said hello and made light of last nights episode but really didn't talk to me the rest of the night, which hurt me. When I was leaving he went to kiss me but it was in front of lots of people we knew so I turned the cheek, which I am sure is what he expected/wanted me to do and we hugged and I left.

 

Now I will be the first to admit, I don't like the feelings that I have for my best friend. They are starting to get attached to him and to want more than friends. But I would never tell him this because I know how he is, I don't want to loose the friendship, and there are just some things that would not make it possible for us to be together. I would be fine with FWB for now, but I don't even want to go down that road because I know I will get hurt. I am already jealous of all the time he is spending with this new girl. What a mess. Any thoughts?

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You need to step away from your feelings of him. It is easy to get attached to someone who you like and have fun with. If you find them attractive then it makes it all the more difficult to keep that line of friends there. You realize that you would not be good together but it is hard because you have these feelings. The choice is yours. If you can keep your feelings in check and still have fun and be happy for him then I think you should say friends and keep it as they are. If you find you can't do that then your only option is to slowly back away from your relationship with him so your feelings can subside. It's hard, I know. Feelings suck sometimes but what can we do?

 

Good Luck...

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blackendangel13

Thanks Marshbear,

 

I have delt with the feelings being there, I just don't like them there. I am not ever going to tell him about it and pretty much just want to move forward with our friendship. I think I am just at a lonely point right now (I just moved into a new place by myself and my friends have been busy). It was just a kiss and it pisses me off that he freaked out about it. Maybe the problem isn't how I feel.

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