How do I become the man I want to be?

[sowhatwedonow]

So I'm gonna be 23 soon. And it scares the **** outta me. I don't like to talk myself down but I would really like the help so I'm gonna be honest and blunt.

 

I really haven't achieved much in my 23 years. Have a few good friends. A great mother and thats it . all my life ive been doing it all by myself and its been hard. Its reallh been a struggle but i try my best to overcome.

 

Never had a dad or a strong male role model in my life and it made me kinda soft. My last relationshio was my first, thoufht she was my best friend and my girl but she dumped me and just left.

 

My education level is low and other aspects of my life havent come together. I really wanna be happy and achieve the things I wanna do.

 

I wanna commit and achieve my goals. And be the man that I wanna be. I wanna start putting on some muscle, learning new things and getting good at it.

 

I want to start back getting my education in order and having a good job that i can enjoy.

 

Lol idk but i really like cliff diving. I never dis it, hell i cant even swim. But i like it and i wanna do it.

 

There are many things id like to do and starf living my life. I just dont know where to start. An idk how to commit and stay motivated to achieve my goals.

 

Any help would be immensely appreciated. Thanks for reading.

[d0nnivain]

What are your goals? Write them down. Then set out the steps you need to take to reach them. Now figure out the time frame to take the steps.

 

 

Now take that 1st step.

[mightycpa]

Don't take on too many things at once. You'll be like an obese person who goes on a starvation diet. It won't work, and you'll blame it on your inadequacies, rather than recognizing it is very normal.

 

When I was that age, it was hard for me to handle more than 3 things without ****ing something up. I had work, a girl, working out, a social life and a hobby. Something always suffered. Usually it was my girl, even if she didn't realize it.

 

Pick one or two things, and make them unlike each other. I like the education and muscle idea, but that's just me. Small goals at first. Make them achievable, because the big ones take discipline, which is not a trait of the soft.

 

Also, learn how to swim before you dive off a cliff. I've never done that, but I did dive off a 30 meter board once. The force of the water pushed my hands right into my face, and hitting the water hurt like hell. I'm an excellent swimmer and I can tell you that even in a pool, instinct took over. I can't imagine what it would be like in open water, not knowing how to swim.

[whichwayisup]

Sign up for swimming lessons! Take a chance! Learn how to rock climb and then build it up to cliff climbing.

 

You just need self confidence and to believe in yourself. You're a good person, you aren't 'soft', you're strong and just have more of a woman's influence on you than a man...nothing wrong with that. You probably will be able to bond well with women, have deep compassion and understanding because of your influences growing up.

 

Just try new things and don't let fear get in the way.