UNBELIEVABLE!!!! DISILLUSIONED? Also, found tatic that works......

[liswil]

And you want this relationship BECAUSE............................????????

 

What about what YOU want???? What are you getting out of this relationship? What keeps you in it?

 

 

Originally posted by sparkle & fade

 

 

Another thing. Sometimes I feel like he ENJOYS feeding into my insecurities.

He could easily stop it.

He KNOWS where my insecurities are, what makes me feel jealous.

Sometimes I think he creates situations in which he knows I will react strongly to it and DELIBERATELY not explaining himself.

 

This is abusive----are you aware of that???

 

 

or when he finally does leave me, everyone can understand why.

 

What about YOU leaving HIM????? You have the power to do that.

[crazy_grl]

Originally posted by liswil

This is abusive----are you aware of that???

 

Yes it is. Now that you mention it, Sparkle, you should read this website http://www.womanabuseprevention.com/html/emotional_abuse.html and look for others about emotional abuse.

[KissiesKill]

i'll tell you what caught my attention...

 

the fact that as soon as you mentioned going to hang out with your friends, he suggested you stay home and "do laundry", etc.

 

did it ever occur to you that perhaps, just perhaps, he didnt want to risk you noticing that ONE of your friends wouldn't be availabe... or would be "missing" from the girls get together?

 

just something that popped into my mind... take it for what its worth to you, but i would be watching my friends closer.

 

 

good luck with whatever you decide...

[Iluvsiamese]

Just a couple of points here:

 

You were originally somewhat shy and nervous around men, whereas he was outgoing and confident. I think he chose you for this reason because he could totally control you and the relationship. Someone who was the same personality type as him would not accept his behaviour. You make it easy for him.

 

Your insecurity and jealousy (which I think is justified) entered the picture when it became clear that he is hiding things from you--details about his life etc. He is not protecting your innocence here, he is maintaining control of the relationship and you. He refuses to share with you--what kind of relationship is that?

 

As it stands, he tells you what to do, does what he wants and when you turn the heat up, he lies.

 

It's up to you what you want to do, but my advice is to only remain in this relationship if you want to remain under his thumb. Think about how this will feel after another 5 years. How about 10 years?? From what I am hearing, this is not what you want so why put yourself through this?

[MWC_LifeBeginsAt40]

Originally posted by KissiesKill

i'll tell you what caught my attention...

 

the fact that as soon as you mentioned going to hang out with your friends, he suggested you stay home and "do laundry", etc.

 

did it ever occur to you that perhaps, just perhaps, he didnt want to risk you noticing that ONE of your friends wouldn't be availabe... or would be "missing" from the girls get together?

 

just something that popped into my mind... take it for what its worth to you, but i would be watching my friends closer.

 

 

good luck with whatever you decide...

 

I just read this post today for the first time and skimmed thru to see if anyone else wondered why he would make you stay home to do the freakin laundry! I wouldn't have been waiting outside the officie, I would have gone to my friend's houses and betcha his car was there.

[deesgirl]

The running joke around here is that if your guy says he's going to play pool, he's going to a strip club. They have pool tables there, so the guys feel like they aren't lying. Riiight.

 

I agree that you picked out one of the few posts that said you were wrong and he is right.

 

Your insecurities aren't going to get any better with a guy that is controlling, lies to you, and even goes as far as to dress for work just to cover the lies. Did you smell his clothes to see if he smelled like a female?