Feeling jealous of other girls in the gym my boyfriend goes to?

[CrystalMinds]

Hi, me again!

 

I haven't been feeling too confident and secure lately but my boyfriend understands this and we talked about this. He's very into gym and working out and introduced me into this world so since half a year I'm kind of addicted to the gym. We now go to the same gym too. Apparently there's this girl there whom he thinks is hot. How do I know this? He recently showed me a text his friend sent but a few texts above was this: "I just saw X again today, mmmmmmh xD...seems like she has a bit more of a belly now though" (I think he wasn't aware of this text showing when he showed his phone to me).

His friend is single and kind of a womanizer. I don't know if I should feel bad about my boyfriend talking about a hot girl like this or if I should just see this as "guy talk"? Because now I kinda feel jealous already if he goes to the gym.

Edited February 8, 2016 by CrystalMinds

[ExpatInItaly]

Hi, me again!

 

I haven't been feeling too confident and secure lately but my boyfriend understands this and we talked about this. He's very into gym and working out and introduced me into this world so since half a year I'm kind of addicted to the gym. We now go to the same gym too. Apparently there's this girl there whom he thinks is hot. How do I know this? He recently showed me a text his friend sent but a few texts above was this: "I just saw X again today, mmmmmmh xD...seems like she has a bit more of a belly now though" (I think he wasn't aware of this text showing when he showed his phone to me).

His friend is single and kind of a womanizer. I don't know if I should feel bad about my boyfriend talking about a hot girl like this or if I should just see this as "guy talk"? Because now I kinda feel jealous already if he goes to the gym.

 

OP, can you clarify who wrote that specific text? I'm not sure if it was the friend or your boyfriend. I'm guessing it was your boyfriend?

[CrystalMinds]

OP, can you clarify who wrote that specific text? I'm not sure if it was the friend or your boyfriend. I'm guessing it was your boyfriend?

 

Yes, that text is written by my boyfriend.

[PegNosePete]

From your past posts, there don't seem to be any other issues with him or the relationship. It's not the first time he has said this kind of thing, though? It seems to be simply how he is when talking to his mates, or this mate in particular. He doesn't seem to be hiding it from you, in fact he seems fairly open with showing you his messages etc. So no, I don't believe there's anything for you to be insecure or worried about.

 

However, that kind of talk is a bit disrespectful for someone who's in a relationship. And even for someone who's not! You could bring that up with him, however you run the risk of him taking it underground/deleting messages so as not to offend you, or getting upset that you're trying to censor him...

Edited February 8, 2016 by PegNosePete

[CrystalMinds]

From your past posts, there don't seem to be any other issues with him or the relationship. It's not the first time he has said this kind of thing, though? It seems to be simply how he is when talking to his mates, or this mate in particular. He doesn't seem to be hiding it from you, in fact he seems fairly open with showing you his messages etc. So no, I don't believe there's anything for you to be insecure or worried about.

 

However, that kind of talk is a bit disrespectful for someone who's in a relationship. And even for someone who's not! You could bring that up with him, however you run the risk of him taking it underground/deleting messages so as not to offend you, or getting upset that you're trying to censor him...

 

I do think it's how he talks to that friend... it's his only single friend and that friend isn't very respectful about women. I told him it makes me insecure when he talks about a girl like that and he reassured me about it. I told him before that I don't really like how he talks about it all with that friend but I also told him I understand he needs guy talk so he can talk how he wants to that friend. I just wanted to know if I should be worried that he still talks about a girl he thinks is hot when he's together with me.

[d0nnivain]

I don't necessarily think you should be worried that he will cheat. Noticing that some one is attractive & even commenting on it, is not the same thing as having no ethics.

 

 

I'd be hurt that your BF said something to his buddy but he wasn't wrong per se for expressing an opinion

 

 

Try not to compare yourself to her. Assume your BF dates you because you are hot, a good person & interesting to be around. Do keep your eyes & ears open just in case but if that is the only problem, I think you will be OK

[CrystalMinds]

I don't necessarily think you should be worried that he will cheat. Noticing that some one is attractive & even commenting on it, is not the same thing as having no ethics.

 

 

I'd be hurt that your BF said something to his buddy but he wasn't wrong per se for expressing an opinion

 

 

Try not to compare yourself to her. Assume your BF dates you because you are hot, a good person & interesting to be around. Do keep your eyes & ears open just in case but if that is the only problem, I think you will be OK

 

Thank you for your opinion.

I am hurt he said that but we had a long talk about cheating, working on a relationship and how our relationship is, how we love eachother and all that. I'm quite sure he wouldn't cheat on me to be honest. It just hurts me he talks about other women like that and I wanna be the only one he thinks those things of. Though I know that may be quite selfish.

[road]

Men always talk to each other about how hot a bee-itch looks to them. Does not mean that their GF/wife is not hot to them or that they are going to cheat or want to cheat with the aforementioned bee-itch.

[CrystalMinds]

Men always talk to each other about how hot a bee-itch looks to them. Does not mean that their GF/wife is not hot to them or that they are going to cheat or want to cheat with the aforementioned bee-itch.

 

Thanks for your opinion!

[CrystalMinds]

Small update: the girl he was talking about to his friend is someone they both know for a few years now and they saw eachother at the gym almost daily a few years back. She used to be a bit bigger but now she's training to keep up her good figure.

[smackie9]

Men always talk to each other about how hot a bee-itch looks to them. Does not mean that their GF/wife is not hot to them or that they are going to cheat or want to cheat with the aforementioned bee-itch.

Yup boys will be boys....it's all about t its a nd a ss. Talking about how hot a girl is or how big her t its are is how they bond. Welcome to the world of men.

 

**Please don't start pokin around on his phone looking for stuff.

[MrMeh]

I go to the gym a lot! Though it's a different crowd ( YMCA), you still get quite a few attractive girls going there and yes, guys will comment on their figure, especially the hornier guys.

 

Does it mean anything? Well that depends on your boyfriend. My advice is to keep doing what your doing and improve on yourself to make yourself the best you can possibly be (chessy, I know..). Anything he does is completely out of your hands.