Toodaloo Posted February 9, 2016 Share Posted February 9, 2016 (edited) I have said it before, I will say it again. Leave her alone. She needs to get over you. Edited February 9, 2016 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Off-topic content redacted. ~6 1 Link to post Share on other sites
dreamingoftigers Posted February 9, 2016 Share Posted February 9, 2016 (edited) We're both 35. But she's just as immature. She hasn't got her life in order. When I met her she was working in some call center with no savings, not even a decent wardrobe. When I saw her, her apartment was a mess, she was clumsy and kept losing her housekeys. She knows nothing about life, and all she talks about are her past relationships. She doesn't even know how to drive. Because of her, I lost my best friends because they all supported her. I had to leave her because she was self-destructing. She even picked a really expensive hospital and I heard she's now in so much debt because of the baby. I gave her options and she assured me she would be okay and would deal with it herself. And when she found out she couldn't, I get to be collateral damage because of her recklessness. I would've supported her through and through, if she had shown she could do it herself. That she wouldn't be angry at the kid for ruining her life. But she would often call me, crying and whining about how she was afraid she couldn't do it, which is disgusting because she was supposed to be this strong, smart, driven, ambitious, athletic woman. Her lack of confidence and conviction solidified my belief that she wasn't right for me. At least I had integrity enough to admit and follow through with my desire not to have babies. Look, I'm not the only one who thinks of her that way. Even friends are tired of talking to her and hearing her act like a victim. Some of them have come to me asking about what went wrong. I told them the truth. Her best friend even decided to just leave her to her devices and for her to deal with things on her own since she never listens to good advice, she didn't listen when her best friends advised her to abort because she isn't financially capable of raising a baby, and that she's never grown out of the mindset she had when she was in highschool -- his words were: you dodged a bullet. And she can't get herself out of a rut. It's always her parents' fault, her boyfriend's fault.. anyone's fault but hers. Oh and as for her letter, it reeks. [link to private letter removed by moderation] Jeez. You just keep saying "its her fault its her fault its her fault" It's YOUR FAULT TOO. You got someone pregnant and I doubt anyone on this thread gives two craps about her "financial situation." You abandoned your kid. Entirely on you. Entirely. I am surprised that you are 35. To be that old and know the basic mechanics of how basic responsibility and sexual responsibility works..... You have NO EXCUSE no matter what she did. She sounds less psycho in comparison. You should be paying child support and are responsible for half of the birth expenses. Edited February 9, 2016 by a LoveShack.org Moderator 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Simon Phoenix Posted February 9, 2016 Share Posted February 9, 2016 You're more of a jackass then she is a "psycho" to be honest. You didn't want the kid? Well, use protection genius! There are a lot of things that aren't planned in life, but when they happen, you adjust, you deal with it, you take care of your responsibilities. That's what a man does. You aren't a man -- you're an immature boy. The fact that you think it's OK to abandon your child makes my skin crawl. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
VeveCakes Posted February 9, 2016 Share Posted February 9, 2016 We're both 35. But she's just as immature. She hasn't got her life in order. When I met her she was working in some call center with no savings, not even a decent wardrobe. When I saw her, her apartment was a mess, she was clumsy and kept losing her housekeys. She knows nothing about life, and all she talks about are her past relationships. She doesn't even know how to drive. Because of her, I lost my best friends because they all supported her. I had to leave her because she was self-destructing. She even picked a really expensive hospital and I heard she's now in so much debt because of the baby. I gave her options and she assured me she would be okay and would deal with it herself. And when she found out she couldn't, I get to be collateral damage because of her recklessness. I would've supported her through and through, if she had shown she could do it herself. That she wouldn't be angry at the kid for ruining her life. But she would often call me, crying and whining about how she was afraid she couldn't do it, which is disgusting because she was supposed to be this strong, smart, driven, ambitious, athletic woman. Her lack of confidence and conviction solidified my belief that she wasn't right for me. At least I had integrity enough to admit and follow through with my desire not to have babies. For someone who thinks so lowly of this girl you sure spend a lot of time talking and thinking about her. At 35 you should be a lot more in touch with reality. I suggest you seek counselling adapt. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
bluefeather Posted February 9, 2016 Share Posted February 9, 2016 We're both 35. WOW! that is unfortunate as your brain seems very underdeveloped At least I had integrity enough to admit and follow through with my desire not to have babies. But you did not. See, expressing a desire not to have babies would have been not getting her pregnant. And what you did at this point was run away from responsibility. That represents zero integrity. It is sad that you are so old, but cannot see this. Both of you sound very damaged and I cannot help with anymore input. Maybe a therapist can help you. Good luck... 2 Link to post Share on other sites
BlueIris Posted February 9, 2016 Share Posted February 9, 2016 OP, get snipped now. You don’t want children. Your ex isn’t devious or psycho. You’re upset that people are seeing who you are. Your new GF shouldn’t be at all upset about any of this unless you hadn’t told her about it. You are intent upon insulting her, blaming and taking no responsibility for your own actions. That is only increasing people’s disgust, here and in your social circles. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
RocketQueen Posted February 9, 2016 Share Posted February 9, 2016 What I don't get is why she had to pretend the baby died. Even went so far as going on a leave at work telling our boss and co-workers that she was handling the baby's funeral. I also heard from friends that she had been fired, but was able to find another job. She's doing better, but she's lost a lot of weight and it on anxiety meds. You said yourself that you had said to her you would be there for her but not for 'baby events', I think she was desperately clutching at any way to stay in contact. If find it sad that you can't understand why she would put the baby up for adoption when she was capable of caring for it- you were just as capable too but decided it was not your responsibility. Psycho or not, giving the baby up for adoption is a hard decision and a very selfless thing to do, I hope the little one has a lovely, contented life. It's clear as a couple you should not be together, I think no contact is the right call here. You have both (hopefully) learnt some very hard lessons from this mess. Women can often play some dirty games when it comes to babies and pregnancy etc and I don't condone it but in this case, I truly find myself hoping more than anything that your 'psycho ex' finds happiness, peace and true love. Link to post Share on other sites
Author rockstar_fly Posted February 12, 2016 Author Share Posted February 12, 2016 Really bad news. Just received news that my ex has passed away. Her family has posted some updates on her facebook. Seems she OD'd on some sleeping pills. I haven't confirmed if it was by accident or if it was intentional. A couple of days ago, I told my gf about the letter my ex sent me and she read it. She took it upon herself to reply to my ex on my behalf. I'm not sure what exactly she said but she told me she told her to stay away from us and leave us alone. That she should just accept the fact that I don't love her. This confirms she really wasn't right in the head. Glad I dodged that bullet. Link to post Share on other sites
Hls923 Posted February 12, 2016 Share Posted February 12, 2016 UN.FREAKING.BELIEVABLE...............YOU HAVE GOT TO BE THE WORST POSSIBLE HUMAN BEING I HAVE EVER ENCOUNTERED....... I have one final word for you.....KARMA. Link to post Share on other sites
Author rockstar_fly Posted February 15, 2016 Author Share Posted February 15, 2016 Ok now I feel guilty. I don't know what to do. She's gone. She's really gone. Link to post Share on other sites
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