Hendrix16 Posted February 9, 2016 Share Posted February 9, 2016 Okay so I'm not going to make any excuse for what I did. It was terrible. And every day it's been eating at me like a disease. Basically I've been in a relationship with a girl I would consider to be the love of my life. She is possibly the kindest, funniest and most generous person I've ever met. Now, we've had out ups and out downs and our distances and falling outs and making ins. But what I've done stands to ruin all of that, and my life with it, deservedly so. So basically I went to a house party and got blackout drunk and told another girl I wanted to be with her or something along those lines. I don't remember saying this, in fact I was told by a friend of mine I had a couple of months later. I completely dismissed that I could've said something like that, especially since my friend described this girl as a known bull****ter. But the fact is I can't remember ANYTHING. so I could've I have no idea, but knowing the colossal prick I am I probably did. But I really do love my girlfriend, more than anything. So it's hard to believe I would've said something like that when I could barely form a coherent sentence that night. Again, alcohol is not an excuse for anything, obviously, it just gets rid of inhibitions. I'm not asking for forgiveness or anything like that when I have done nothing to deserve that. But the thought of hurting such a precious person is making me sick to my stomach. I don't know why I'm writing this. I guess I just needed to say it. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
WomenWubber Posted February 9, 2016 Share Posted February 9, 2016 You're not a horrible person, you just have a horrible side that was unleashed with alcohol. I hope you have learned that alchohol can do horrible things to you and your loved ones. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Satu Posted February 9, 2016 Share Posted February 9, 2016 Be mindful of your drinking. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Hendrix16 Posted February 9, 2016 Author Share Posted February 9, 2016 I will. I haven't really touched the stuff since and don't plan to soon. I just can't moderate when I'm out with friends and I always end up behaving the worst of being the most drunk and always end up remembering nothing and saying something I shouldn't. I shudder to think that I could really end up crossing a line with my girlfriend if I don't stop. But surely if I'm a terrible person drunk it means I'm a terrible person sober, it's just coming out drunk, and I'm simply more controlled when sober. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Space Ritual Posted February 9, 2016 Share Posted February 9, 2016 Did you act on it Hendrix? Did you hookup with this other girl? If not then you are being a bit hard in yourself. Of course you might want to tell your GF what you said in case it gets back to her and we both know when stuff gets back to people there usually is a bit of literary license that goes along with it. So strike while the Iron is hot if you can. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Hendrix16 Posted February 9, 2016 Author Share Posted February 9, 2016 No I never acted on it. But I just don't know what would drive me to even say something like that. Granted we've had problems, but I've never wanted to be in a relationship with anyone else. Ever. Especially someone who I don't even know. Like my behaviour is so unpredictable I don't know where it'll end up. Clearly I need to avoid drinking. And I might tell her though. I know it would be right but I'm spineless as ****. But I know I should. She's away for a while just now but I'm worried I won't be able to love her properly unless I absolve myself somehow. I think it'll all come out when she asks what's wrong. She can read me like a book 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Michelle ma Belle Posted February 9, 2016 Share Posted February 9, 2016 The fact that you didn't act on it already puts you in better standings than most men and women on here who talk about their experiences and bad judgements whilst drinking. If you feel better, come clean to your girlfriend and vow to never get blackout drunk again, or at least not without her being present with you. Don't beat yourself up over it. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Hendrix16 Posted February 9, 2016 Author Share Posted February 9, 2016 I won't get that drunk again. Ever. I mean it's just too scary not knowing what you've done or who you've hurt. It's not worth it. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
jgt56 Posted February 9, 2016 Share Posted February 9, 2016 Read your post, have a couple of questions, how long have you know your girlfriend? do you two have any plans to get married? we all make mistakes and if she really cares for you she will forgive you. that will be a real test of where your relationship stands. not rocket science here when you get drunk your never in the right state of mind and may do things you regret. let me know how this works out and if I can help Link to post Share on other sites
Author Hendrix16 Posted February 10, 2016 Author Share Posted February 10, 2016 We've known each other nearly a year now . And no we 're pretty much taking each day as it comes. We've talked about the future etc but we're still young so I don't think marriage or anything like that is on the cards. And in the coming year our lives are taking quite different directions so I'm not sure what will happen. But we'll make it work. I hope. Link to post Share on other sites
todreaminblue Posted February 10, 2016 Share Posted February 10, 2016 (edited) I will. I haven't really touched the stuff since and don't plan to soon. I just can't moderate when I'm out with friends and I always end up behaving the worst of being the most drunk and always end up remembering nothing and saying something I shouldn't. I shudder to think that I could really end up crossing a line with my girlfriend if I don't stop. But surely if I'm a terrible person drunk it means I'm a terrible person sober, it's just coming out drunk, and I'm simply more controlled when sober. its not about whether you are a terrible person drunk or that you are the same person when you are sober...because you are actually different people..you have different goals thoughts and desires when drunk none of them any really good.....alcohol is a major down fall in many relationships.....because people are retarded when they drink heavily.......retarded in every sense.....physically emotionally and intellectually....you cant physically drive when you are drunk for a reason....that should include...rationalize ........make love.....hold a conversation and actually get that you need to run.....judge whether you are about to be beaten up for being a smart ass or even go home with some guy who turns around and rapes you who you think is an angel(actually a degenerate drunk criminal ) sent to help you.........and also...most importantly you cant judge or understand how your actions are going to hurt another you truly care for...simple answer for your situation...dont drink again..its a demon in liquid form.........I am glad to hear you havent........deb....... Edited February 10, 2016 by todreaminblue Link to post Share on other sites
IronZ Posted February 10, 2016 Share Posted February 10, 2016 So wait.. you got blackout drunk and may or may not have said something flirty to another girl while probably not even meaning it? I don't get the part where you cheated.. walk it off mate. Link to post Share on other sites
Capris Posted February 10, 2016 Share Posted February 10, 2016 (edited) Hello! No you are not a horrible person and yes, you can blame it on the alcohol. Im fed up with people saying "don't blame it on the alcohol". YOU CAN. Not all can, that's true, but people who have black outs can not be understood by people who don't and they compare heavy drinking with blacking out, which are two VERY different things. So stop all the "did you have sex with her?", "it's my dark side" and stuff. NO such thing. There is no "Dark side" that only comes out when drunk. Specially when you are blacked out. I black out. I know how it is. A lot of people black out. Do you think we want to do the things we do? Or worse, do you think, "deep down inside" we do? NO WAY. Alcohol erases your JUDGEMENT and causes you forget. Most likely you didn't even know you had a girlfriend at the time. Some people "borrow" cars while blacked out thinking it as a lovely way to get home. They cant even process the fact that its someone elses car at the time. They see a way to get home, they take it. Do not tell your girlfriend yet, specially if she can not understand what drinking does to you. Your problem is not your "hidden dark side", it's alcohol. Try to moderate it, but if you want a solid advice, quit. For a while at least. Than, forgive yourself for drinking and understand that what happened was not your fault. The only thing that is , is that you drank. Hitting on a girl or even cheating is the least that can happen while you are blacked out. edit: you do not even have to tell your girlfriend. I never believed it at first, but seriously, telling her is to get the guilt off your back. Why ruin her trust for something you had no intention to do and darn, can't even recall the whole thing? Trust me, i've tried both ways. Not telling is way much better for the relationship, maybe bad on your guilt, but hey... Take care, everything is gonna be fine! Edited February 10, 2016 by Capris Link to post Share on other sites
GR4 Posted February 10, 2016 Share Posted February 10, 2016 So wait.. you got blackout drunk and may or may not have said something flirty to another girl while probably not even meaning it? I don't get the part where you cheated.. walk it off mate. Exactly. From the thread title I assumed you had done something terrible. In reality you had a few too many and told a girl you want to be with her. So what? You never acted on it so stop beating yourself over it. Christ! Link to post Share on other sites
IronZ Posted February 11, 2016 Share Posted February 11, 2016 Exactly. From the thread title I assumed you had done something terrible. In reality you had a few too many and told a girl you want to be with her. So what? You never acted on it so stop beating yourself over it. Christ! So young, so innocent lol. Reminds me of the first time I got handed a beer by one of my older cousins and I thought it was so dangerous and cool and like I was such a badass. We tend to exaggerate things when we're total noobs at them. Link to post Share on other sites
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