Guest Posted June 9, 2005 Share Posted June 9, 2005 I am just wondering what the difference is or if they are the same thing. I think of a player as someone who is successful at getting women into bed without being in an exclusive relationship. I also think a player is someone who wines and dines a woman on the first date and seduces her into sleeping with him by the end of the night. I think of a cheater as someone who is already in committed relationship and cheats on that partner with another person by having sex with them. is that what a player is? What do you think? Link to post Share on other sites
miss fortune Posted June 9, 2005 Share Posted June 9, 2005 I'd say a player is someone who is playing the field, but leads the others in to thinking they are exclusive the whole time. Kind of cheating, but not quite. A guy whos goal is to sleep with a woman by the end of the date would be more like a dog or a sleazeball, lol...but the 'wines and dines' part doesnt necessarily apply. Cheating would be when both have determined exclusivity and one does something inappropriate with someone outside of the relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
ImaManDammit Posted June 9, 2005 Share Posted June 9, 2005 The problem is, that by your definition of player, what do you do with women who all they want is to be wined and dined and go to bed? He's isn't really a player then, just lucky?? Link to post Share on other sites
miss fortune Posted June 9, 2005 Share Posted June 9, 2005 The problem is, that by your definition of player, what do you do with women who all they want is to be wined and dined and go to bed? He's isn't really a player then, just lucky?? lol yeah, I'd say so!! As long as she is all for what hes up to, he can't be considered a player - at least not in my eyes. Link to post Share on other sites
joodee Posted June 9, 2005 Share Posted June 9, 2005 That's funny. I do know some women who just want exactly that, get wined and dined, get "lucky" and find the next guy. One gal I knew said one week she had a different date each night of the week, and she admitted what she was doing was wrong (cause a few of the guys really liked her and wanted a real relationship with her), and then she said "at least I'm being fed..." Yes, they do exist out there.... Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted June 10, 2005 Share Posted June 10, 2005 Originally posted by miss fortune I'd say a player is someone who is playing the field, but leads the others in to thinking they are exclusive the whole time. Kind of cheating, but not quite. A guy whos goal is to sleep with a woman by the end of the date would be more like a dog or a sleazeball, lol...but the 'wines and dines' part doesnt necessarily apply. Cheating would be when both have determined exclusivity and one does something inappropriate with someone outside of the relationship. Ok Would someone be a player if he tries to get sex without wining and dining....but instead just does coffee dates and tries to get the woman in the sack by the third date....while also playing the field and having a rotation to get laid by a different woman every week or every other week? is a player someone who plays the field (dates a lot of women) but sleeps with them too without giving any of them a commitment? ie letting the ladies know that they are not the only one he is seeing and keeping them informed of all the other women he is seeing and how it is going...in the hopes of inspiring jealousy and therefore getting each of them to sleep with him? do you consider this a player or what? Link to post Share on other sites
ImaManDammit Posted June 10, 2005 Share Posted June 10, 2005 Originally posted by Guest is a player someone who plays the field (dates a lot of women) but sleeps with them too without giving any of them a commitment? ie letting the ladies know that they are not the only one he is seeing and keeping them informed of all the other women he is seeing and how it is going...in the hopes of inspiring jealousy and therefore getting each of them to sleep with him? do you consider this a player or what? In a word no. Like I said before there are women who accept these terms as well. I think where the term player comes is how you want to be viewed by your "buddies". If you go back from your dates with a locker room type tone, regardless of how you ended up in bed with the woman, your "buddies" may think you are a player because you ASKED to be one. The only real players are people who need to define themselves and want themselves labelled as a player. Otherwise there is no resume you send in to apply. Link to post Share on other sites
miss fortune Posted June 10, 2005 Share Posted June 10, 2005 Otherwise there is no resume you send in to apply LOL It doesnt matter what or how a man goes about getting a female in the sack -- if all he is looking for is a55 from her, and he's also chasing tail from other girls at the same time, thats a player. The rest are just horny men. Theres a very thin line in between. Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted June 10, 2005 Share Posted June 10, 2005 so a player is just someone who sleeps around? or is it a person who wishes to be KNOWN as sleeping around with many women? ie, a reputation Which of these two senses is it? Thanks Link to post Share on other sites
Tony Posted June 10, 2005 Senior Moderators Share Posted June 10, 2005 A player usually sexually objectifies the opposite sex, is around for the absolute best and heart of an encounter, and quickly moves on. They generally don't do this with a mean spirit. The greater reason is that long term relationships aren't on their agenda, don't satisfy them and they haven't grown up enough to relate. Some people, both male and female, remain players until very late in life until they realize they don't want to die alone. Many make this decision when they find our they're dying of something. Players have always gotten a bum rap. Even though they do, indeed, end up hurting people they have good reason to be players. I think it's more of a psychological disorder than it is an overt decision to go around screwing up people's lives in the name of getting their rocks off. On the other hand, people ought to be quite aware of their existence and avoid them if possible or dissociate with them as soon as they reveal themselves...unless, of couse, both parties to an encounter are players. Link to post Share on other sites
mental_traveller Posted June 11, 2005 Share Posted June 11, 2005 Cheater = someone who cheats i.e. tells their partner they're exclusive, and then fools around with someone else. Player = someone who "plays" other people i.e. leads the other person to believe he's interested in a relationship, whereas in reality he just wants sex. So the guy will make the woman think he really wants to see her again, sound really romantic, say he loves kids and is looking for a responsible woman etc, then nail her and stop returning her calls soon afterwards. He never has any interest in developing a serious relationship, he just uses that as a cover to charm & life his way into a woman's into bed. If someone is upfront about just wanting sex with no strings, then by definition they aren't a player. Who are they "playing"? No one is being misled, so there's no "playing" going on, just lots of bonking. You could call that a ladies man, Casanova etc, but not a player. Link to post Share on other sites
liswil Posted June 11, 2005 Share Posted June 11, 2005 You know, everytime I try to imagine having sex with a person and not having feelings for them, I just can't picture it. I think people who can (both men and women) have to have some psychological problems that enables them to do that. Link to post Share on other sites
moimeme Posted June 11, 2005 Share Posted June 11, 2005 everytime I try to imagine having sex with a person and not having feelings for them, I just can't picture it. I'm the same. No feelings = turnoff. Link to post Share on other sites
HoneyWheat Posted June 14, 2005 Share Posted June 14, 2005 Define Player: person who is in the relationship just for the sex, commonly referred to as a player how does this definition work? Does everyone agree or disagree? Link to post Share on other sites
Humbledog Posted June 14, 2005 Share Posted June 14, 2005 Originally posted by liswil You know, everytime I try to imagine having sex with a person and not having feelings for them, I just can't picture it. Just imagine yourself having feelings for them and have sex!!!! You will get laid more often!!! Link to post Share on other sites
liswil Posted June 14, 2005 Share Posted June 14, 2005 I could 10x a day if I wanted so getting laid is not a problem. That answer sure shows your maturity btw. How old? 15? Link to post Share on other sites
crazy_grl Posted June 14, 2005 Share Posted June 14, 2005 Originally posted by HoneyWheat Define Player: person who is in the relationship just for the sex, commonly referred to as a player how does this definition work? Does everyone agree or disagree? Disagree. For someone to be a player, there has to be games involved (and all games include lying and deception). If they're telling the other person they're not in it for sex, then they're a player. If the other person is aware of the fact that they just want sex, then they're not playing anyone. Link to post Share on other sites
Humbledog Posted June 14, 2005 Share Posted June 14, 2005 Originally posted by liswil I could 10x a day if I wanted so getting laid is not a problem. That answer sure shows your maturity btw. How old? 15? That was meant as a generic, or, "Not specific to you", hopefully humorous to some people statement, as I truly did not mean to offend you personally. I'M 16 Link to post Share on other sites
HoneyWheat Posted June 14, 2005 Share Posted June 14, 2005 Originally posted by crazy_grl Disagree. For someone to be a player, there has to be games involved (and all games include lying and deception). If they're telling the other person they're not in it for sex, then they're a player. If the other person is aware of the fact that they just want sex, then they're not playing anyone. ok do you think if a person calls you up for a booty call...that they are a player? Link to post Share on other sites
crazy_grl Posted June 15, 2005 Share Posted June 15, 2005 Originally posted by HoneyWheat ok do you think if a person calls you up for a booty call...that they are a player? They're not one if they don't claim or make me believe that it's anything other than a booty call. Link to post Share on other sites
HoneyWheat Posted June 15, 2005 Share Posted June 15, 2005 Originally posted by crazy_grl They're not one if they don't claim or make me believe that it's anything other than a booty call. wrong they are a player because they are using you for sex only it doesn't matter whether its spoken or unspoken Link to post Share on other sites
mental_traveller Posted June 15, 2005 Share Posted June 15, 2005 Originally posted by HoneyWheat Define Player: person who is in the relationship just for the sex, commonly referred to as a player how does this definition work? Does everyone agree or disagree? I disagree. There are situations like f*ck buddies or friends with benefits, where both people are in it just for sex, but with full knowledge. Nobody is getting tricked or played, both parties are being honest, no one is cheating. To be a player you have to be dishonest as well as noncommittal. Link to post Share on other sites
HoneyWheat Posted June 15, 2005 Share Posted June 15, 2005 Originally posted by mental_traveller I disagree. There are situations like f*ck buddies or friends with benefits, where both people are in it just for sex, but with full knowledge. Nobody is getting tricked or played, both parties are being honest, no one is cheating. To be a player you have to be dishonest as well as noncommittal. i kinda think a player is a user...whether you know about his desire to use you JUST for sex or not is irrelevent....sometimes being honest is a game doesn't change the fact its still temptation even if its so totally obvious that you are being used.... Link to post Share on other sites
mental_traveller Posted June 17, 2005 Share Posted June 17, 2005 Originally posted by HoneyWheat i kinda think a player is a user...whether you know about his desire to use you JUST for sex or not is irrelevent....sometimes being honest is a game doesn't change the fact its still temptation even if its so totally obvious that you are being used.... Sure, but is there anything wrong with being a "user" when the other person wants to be "used", and they are "using" you back and you both want it, like it, and know exactly what's going on? Obviously we're not pretending it's something sacred here, it's just two people having meangingless sex for fun. I agree though that if it's not an equal relationship, then you could be "playing" the other person. E.g. you meet a woman who wants a relationship, but will accept sex only in the hope of something more coming out later. If you still go ahead and have no strings sex with no intention of a relationship, you're kind of stringing her along. Link to post Share on other sites
ImaManDammit Posted June 17, 2005 Share Posted June 17, 2005 Originally posted by mental_traveller I agree though that if it's not an equal relationship, then you could be "playing" the other person. E.g. you meet a woman who wants a relationship, but will accept sex only in the hope of something more coming out later. If you still go ahead and have no strings sex with no intention of a relationship, you're kind of stringing her along. I don't call that a player, I call that a user. And for a woman to sleep with someone in hopes for something more is just naive. Link to post Share on other sites
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