Author Kinl Posted February 10, 2016 Author Share Posted February 10, 2016 Do not get married I want to marry her. I can't see myself with someone else. But at the same time I don't want to marry her because I don't want to be in a relationship like this forever. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Kinl Posted February 10, 2016 Author Share Posted February 10, 2016 Then why don't you have her pump her breast milk and you get up with him "every 30 minutes to 2 hours at night" ? I'd be very interested in how much sexual energy you had the next day... Mr. Lucky Because he wont take a bottle and never would, she'd still have to wake up every 2 hours to pump or she would lose her supply. We talked about this when he was a newborn. Counterproductive, especially since he sleeps with us so she puts the boob in and goes back to sleep. I also don't wake up to him, even if he's screaming right beside me. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Terrible situation Posted February 11, 2016 Share Posted February 11, 2016 You are the kind of guy that every woman should avoid. Irresponsible with zero accountability for thoughts and actions. Everything is happy go lucky merry when "you" are happy and satisfied. Find a convenient option when things get a little rocky. You have no idea how sex life can affect after giving birth.. All the things that women go through mentally and hormonally after having a child. Instead of supporting your partner, so that she feels better about her body, her sexual image and her hormonal concerns - you went out and cheated on her. Great! Good job! 3 Link to post Share on other sites
ShatteredLady Posted February 11, 2016 Share Posted February 11, 2016 I pumped & no you don't have to do it every couple of hours to keep the supply. I had enough to donate & only pumped 2-3 times a day. You guys need some professional advise. She shouldn't be up every 30mins - 2 hours at this age. The sleep deprivation alone must be ravaging her mind. She's trying to initiate sex several times a day because she desperately needs 'something', some connection, affection, anything!! You get to masterbate with your mistress, what does she have? Your constant rejection of her must be emotionally crippling her. Motherhood is bloody hard but she's living a nightmare! Poor woman. She must be so overwhelmed. Is her mother or sister close? OMG she needs help & support...you're not getting the kind of confident sex you want. THAT's the biggest issue you see??!! I'm feeling desperately sorry for her. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Kinl Posted February 11, 2016 Author Share Posted February 11, 2016 I pumped & no you don't have to do it every couple of hours to keep the supply. I had enough to donate & only pumped 2-3 times a day. You guys need some professional advise. She shouldn't be up every 30mins - 2 hours at this age. The sleep deprivation alone must be ravaging her mind. She's trying to initiate sex several times a day because she desperately needs 'something', some connection, affection, anything!! You get to masterbate with your mistress, what does she have? Your constant rejection of her must be emotionally crippling her. Motherhood is bloody hard but she's living a nightmare! Poor woman. She must be so overwhelmed. Is her mother or sister close? OMG she needs help & support...you're not getting the kind of confident sex you want. THAT's the biggest issue you see??!! I'm feeling desperately sorry for her. That may be true for you but that is not accurate for most women. I went to many lactation appointments and partner groups with her when breastfeeding wasn't going well. Our child went through a week were he slept through the night and her supply completely stopped. Either way, its irrelevant because he won't take a bottle. She doesn't have family here, they are 3 hours away. She doesn't have friends either. So she's always home and quite clingy. She should want to have sex with me because she wants me, not for attention. We just ****ed a couple hours ago and I stayed in bed and watched a movie. When I got up to leave she kept bugging me to stay. Like she does every single time. Another reason I don't want to have sex that often. I'm tired of being made to feel like the bad guy because I don't want to go to bed at 7PM. I'm starting to think that she is cheating. She's most likely pregnant and we hardly had sex and I used a condom every time, properly. She only ovulates every 3rd month because of a health thing. Yes there is a chance of everything lining up but it's rare. Much more likely that she's ****ing a dude on the side. So I checked her Facebook and she's been messaging an ex. Nothing suspicious and he's initiating all chats but things could have been deleted. I couldn't check her phone because its unlocked with her fingerprints. I checked her email and she had one for a online dating account. Of course I logged into it. She has no info or pictures on the profile but filled out the what you are looking for questions. No outgoing messages. But tons of profiles in the "previously viewed" section. So she's clearly ****ing someone else or trying to. She always insists we use a condom, probably because she might get an std from who she's banging. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
MJJean Posted February 11, 2016 Share Posted February 11, 2016 Umm, the child is two. He lives in a first world country where toddler nutrition is a billion dollar a year industry. He, presumably, has teeth. Wean the kid already. Get him using a sippy cup, eating balanced meals with healthy snacks, and sleeping throughout the night. Once that is accomplished, your wife will actually be getting enough sleep to maintain energy and mental health. Without a toddler latching onto her at all hours of day and night, she might actually want sex again. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
Mr. Lucky Posted February 11, 2016 Share Posted February 11, 2016 She's most likely pregnant and we hardly had sex and I used a condom every time, properly. Once a week or two I say yes and we have sex now. Which is it - once a week or hardly ever? I think self-pity has clouded your judgement. Too bad, this time when your kids are young and absorbing the world around them like little sponges is one of the best periods of your life. I wish you and your young family well... Mr. Lucky 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Kinl Posted February 11, 2016 Author Share Posted February 11, 2016 Umm, the child is two. He lives in a first world country where toddler nutrition is a billion dollar a year industry. He, presumably, has teeth. Wean the kid already. Get him using a sippy cup, eating balanced meals with healthy snacks, and sleeping throughout the night. Once that is accomplished, your wife will actually be getting enough sleep to maintain energy and mental health. Without a toddler latching onto her at all hours of day and night, she might actually want sex again. She is adamant that she will breastfeed until he self weans. 2 is the minimum recommended age to breastfeed until. He does eat full meals. Breastfeeding at his age still has benefits. She's a breastfeeding advocate and even had a photography session done breastfeeding for public posters and cut outs. Not my cup of tea. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Kinl Posted February 11, 2016 Author Share Posted February 11, 2016 Which is it - once a week or hardly ever? I think self-pity has clouded your judgement. Too bad, this time when your kids are young and absorbing the world around them like little sponges is one of the best periods of your life. I wish you and your young family well... Mr. Lucky I said once a week or two. That's not very often. Some months only once in the whole month. Last month maybe twice. Not very likely to get pregnant when using a condom properly and not having a lot of sex and her not ovulating monthly. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
MJJean Posted February 11, 2016 Share Posted February 11, 2016 (edited) She is adamant that she will breastfeed until he self weans. 2 is the minimum recommended age to breastfeed until. He does eat full meals. Breastfeeding at his age still has benefits. She's a breastfeeding advocate and even had a photography session done breastfeeding for public posters and cut outs. Not my cup of tea. Well, then, this is how it's going to be for you until she starts weaning him or he decides to self wean. Although, I have to wonder if she would be so keen to keep herself on tap 24/7 if she knew a side effect of her choice is that her husband thinks sex with her sucks and is jerking it to another woman on Skype.... Edited February 11, 2016 by MJJean 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Rejected Rosebud Posted February 11, 2016 Share Posted February 11, 2016 I know that it doesn't help anything. But it makes me feel good and wanted. Something my girlfriend doesn't. Doesn't it make you feel wanted that she asks you to have sex with her multiple times per day!!?!? 5 Link to post Share on other sites
Mr. Lucky Posted February 11, 2016 Share Posted February 11, 2016 I said once a week or two. That's not very often. Some months only once in the whole month. Last month maybe twice. Not very likely to get pregnant when using a condom properly and not having a lot of sex and her not ovulating monthly. Kinl, if you're looking for folks to agree with your potential decision to either cheat or bail on your family, you'll find this forum to be a tough audience. What do you propose to do to make things better in your marriage ??? Mr. Lucky 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Ladyjane14 Posted February 11, 2016 Share Posted February 11, 2016 Well, then, this is how it's going to be for you until she starts weaning him or he decides to self wean. Although, I have to wonder if she would be so keen to keep herself on tap 24/7 if she knew a side effect of her choice is that her husband thinks sex with her sucks and is jerking it to another woman on Skype.... Exactly. Tell your mate what's really going on, OP. If you don't, you're just going to continue building resentment and anxiety until the relationship blows up. It'll be a hard conversation... but the "I'm leaving you" one will be harder. Sometimes, you have to look at conflict as an opportunity to solve problems. Conflict-avoidance is like building your own pressure-cooker. You feed your daily resentments into it until the lid finally blows off. You're not being unreasonable to want your partner back a year and a half after the birth. It's not the dark ages anymore where nursing for two years provided a modicum of protection against high infant mortality rates. It's 2016 out there in the real world. Tell her EVERYTHING. Then read a copy of The Seven Principle for Making Marriage Work by John Gottman. You don't have to actually be married to utilize those suggestions, the chief one being.. turn toward your partner in times of stress and trouble, not away. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Satu Posted February 11, 2016 Share Posted February 11, 2016 You aren't getting anything out of the relationship because you're not putting anything in. Love is a two way street. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Kinl Posted February 11, 2016 Author Share Posted February 11, 2016 Yes she offers sex many times a day but it's not genuine. She doesn't actually REALLY want to. She only wants to because she thinks that is what will make me happy. That's the issue. It means nothing if its fake. In order for her to be happy I need to spend pretty much all my free time with her. That doesn't work for me. I need to do my own thing. I can't make her happy unless I spend all my time with her. She's well aware that the sex sucks. I guarantee if I told her to stop breastfeeding it would not go well. There are still reasons to breastfeed and I support that. If she stays pregnant and it is mine then I'll be dealing with it all over again. She took a test this morning and is pregnant. I didn't have time to confront her. When I get home I'm going to ask her if its mine. She's a masters student and I know there is a guy in all of her classes that she likes because she brings him up in pointless ways. Probably his. Or some dude she met online. If she admits to it or I can prove it I'm done. I'll take our son and go. Link to post Share on other sites
Satu Posted February 11, 2016 Share Posted February 11, 2016 There's definitely no love here, and without that the relationship has nowhere to go. It's a pity that you stopped loving each other. Things could have been very different if you hadn't. (The above is stated under the assumption that you did at some point love each other.) Link to post Share on other sites
Author Kinl Posted February 11, 2016 Author Share Posted February 11, 2016 There's definitely no love here, and without that the relationship has nowhere to go. It's a pity that you stopped loving each other. Things could have been very different if you hadn't. (The above is stated under the assumption that you did at some point love each other.) I love her. I'm not in love with her. Especially not if she's ****ing someone else. Link to post Share on other sites
Satu Posted February 11, 2016 Share Posted February 11, 2016 I love her. I'm not in love with her. Especially not if she's ****ing someone else. Being 'in love' seems much, but is little. The long slow discipline of love seems little, but is much. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
CarrieT Posted February 11, 2016 Share Posted February 11, 2016 She's a masters student and I know there is a guy in all of her classes that she likes because she brings him up in pointless ways. Probably his. Or some dude she met online. If she admits to it or I can prove it I'm done. I'll take our son and go. And if you determine that this is the case, are you going to confess to her all your cheating? 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Rejected Rosebud Posted February 11, 2016 Share Posted February 11, 2016 Yes she offers sex many times a day but it's not genuine. She doesn't actually REALLY want to. She only wants to because she thinks that is what will make me happy. That's the issue. It means nothing if its fake. Offering to have sex with your partner because you want them to be happy IS NOT FAKE. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Rejected Rosebud Posted February 11, 2016 Share Posted February 11, 2016 I love her. I'm not in love with her. Especially not if she's ****ing someone else. Well, this is kind of out of the blue. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Satu Posted February 11, 2016 Share Posted February 11, 2016 Offering to have sex with your partner because you want them to be happy IS NOT FAKE. Justification, justification, justification. So obvious. Link to post Share on other sites
Ms. Faust Posted February 11, 2016 Share Posted February 11, 2016 T Either way, its irrelevant because he won't take a bottle. Probably because he's almost TWO and he doesn't need that or the boob anymore! 2 is the minimum recommended age to breastfeed until. Sources, please. Link to post Share on other sites
CarrieT Posted February 11, 2016 Share Posted February 11, 2016 She is adamant that she will breastfeed until he self weans. 2 is the minimum recommended age to breastfeed Wrong. "The American Academy of Pediatrics reaffirms its recommendation of exclusive breastfeeding for about 6 months, followed by continued breastfeeding as complementary foods are introduced, with continuation of breastfeeding for 1 year or longer as mutually desired by mother and infant." 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Ms. Faust Posted February 11, 2016 Share Posted February 11, 2016 Wrong. "The American Academy of Pediatrics reaffirms its recommendation of exclusive breastfeeding for about 6 months, followed by continued breastfeeding as complementary foods are introduced, with continuation of breastfeeding for 1 year or longer as mutually desired by mother and infant." Exactly. AAP recommends exclusive breastfeeding for six months. One may continue to breastfeed for one year. If you want to purse natural weaning, then natural weaning can take place between 2.5-SEVEN years old. Please cite your sources, OP. Link to post Share on other sites
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