Is this normal or do I not love her anymore?

[stillafool]

Honestly OP, you sound as if you are jealous of your child. I don't know how you could think your sleep deprived wife, constantly breastfeeding, trying to have sex with your selfish self, has a low sex drive, and all the other wifely and motherly duties, has time to have AN AFFAIR!!!! How ridiculous you sound!!!!!

[Kinl]

Probably because he's almost TWO and he doesn't need that or the boob anymore!

 

 

 

Sources, please.

 

He wouldn't take a bottle from the day he was born. Why do Americans think that everyone lives in the USA? I am in Canada. The Canadian Paediatric Society recommends until 2 and as long after as the mother and baby wish. The World Health Organization recommends the same. If you spend 10 minutes on Google you would find all the reasons to breastfeed beyond 6 months. Natural weaning usually happens between 2-4 years.

[Kinl]

Honestly OP, you sound as if you are jealous of your child. I don't know how you could think your sleep deprived wife, constantly breastfeeding, trying to have sex with your selfish self, has a low sex drive, and all the other wifely and motherly duties, has time to have AN AFFAIR!!!! How ridiculous you sound!!!!!

 

That sounds ridiculous to me. I'm not jealous of my child.

[sandylee1]

You and her would be happier apart.

Just coparent.

Don't get married to her or anyone else for years to come.

 

Your GF can find a man to be happy with. Your constant rejection is going to push her away. Then who will you blame when she doesn't want you to even touch her.

[Ms. Faust]

He wouldn't take a bottle from the day he was born. Why do Americans think that everyone lives in the USA? I am in Canada. The Canadian Paediatric Society recommends until 2 and as long after as the mother and baby wish. The World Health Organization recommends the same. If you spend 10 minutes on Google you would find all the reasons to breastfeed beyond 6 months. Natural weaning usually happens between 2-4 years.

 

 

If you spend 10 minutes on Google you will also find the recent data and statistics on breastfeeding is controversial, and some would argue very SKEWED. Not saying breast isn't best, but it is not the be all end all. That is a whole different topic.

 

So instead of looking for reasons to not have sex with your wife and continue jacking off to a computer screen maybe you should take her up on her offer and have sex with her. I agree with others, you sound full of it and looking for reasons and justifications for your own online cheating.

[Mr. Lucky]

I love her. I'm not in love with her. Especially not if she's ****ing someone else.

Well, this is kind of out of the blue.

 

Makes perfect sense. If the OP can convince himself she's cheating on him, then (in his mind) he's justified to continue cheating himself and planning his exit strategy...

 

Mr. Lucky

[MJJean]

He wouldn't take a bottle from the day he was born. Why do Americans think that everyone lives in the USA? I am in Canada. The Canadian Paediatric Society recommends until 2 and as long after as the mother and baby wish. The World Health Organization recommends the same. If you spend 10 minutes on Google you would find all the reasons to breastfeed beyond 6 months. Natural weaning usually happens between 2-4 years.

 

If you spent 20 minutes on Google, you'd see that there are very few studies on breastfeeding past age 2 and that the majority of breastfeeding benefits studies data comes from countries where healthcare and nutrition are difficult for the common resident, therefore inflating the benefit to breastfeeding post age 1-2 in comparison to the nutritious meals available in more prosperous nations.

 

How did this pregnancy occur? Were you trying to conceive or did your birth control fail?

[Kinl]

If you spent 20 minutes on Google, you'd see that there are very few studies on breastfeeding past age 2 and that the majority of breastfeeding benefits studies data comes from countries where healthcare and nutrition are difficult for the common resident, therefore inflating the benefit to breastfeeding post age 1-2 in comparison to the nutritious meals available in more prosperous nations.

 

How did this pregnancy occur? Were you trying to conceive or did your birth control fail?

 

All I know is that my girlfriend is a extended breastfeeding advocate. She works for a breastfeeding support group and as a lactation consultant. I have tons of pamphlets sitting around my house saying the opposite to you.

 

I can tell you that my son has never been sick even though we have both been size a dozen times.

 

We were not trying to conceive. I was using condoms every time, properly. She was not on anything because of breastfeeding and being unable to use certain kinds because of an allergy.

[MJJean]

All I know is that my girlfriend is a extended breastfeeding advocate. She works for a breastfeeding support group and as a lactation consultant. I have tons of pamphlets sitting around my house saying the opposite to you.

 

I can tell you that my son has never been sick even though we have both been size a dozen times.

 

We were not trying to conceive. I was using condoms every time, properly. She was not on anything because of breastfeeding and being unable to use certain kinds because of an allergy.

 

You know what's interesting about pamphlets? You can print them out and say what you want in them with absolutely no accountability.

 

Look, if you're happy with a woman who spends her nights up and down feeding a critter that is capable of eating on it's own, have at it.

 

If you're happy with a woman who doesn't have interest in sex because she's "touched out" and sleep deprived, have at it.

 

Just don't complain if you aren't willing to do something.

 

Frankly, it's moot now anyway. She's pregnant again. You're pretty much stuck.

[Winterina]

OP, I cannot believe the crappy advice and judgmental attitude you got here.

 

If you do not desire her anymore and you have tried everything, you cannot squeeze it out of yourself. It is just not there. Does not make you a bad person or irresponsible person. Should you suffer all your life? Or should you do the hard but decent thing and leave, stop pretending, stop having sex with a woman who apparently hates every your touch. Give both of you a chance for happiness.

 

In another thread people here raised hell at a husband of OP who did not have sex drive and would not satisfy his wife but would not let her have sex with others. Advice here can be very random, do not pay attention. Sometimes people gang up on someone, they all have their virtual lives and reputations, it is really a fun phenomenon to observe.

 

If you leave your partner, it does not mean you are escaping obligations with children. You can be there for them in every way, that does not have to mean you have to live with their mother. It would be ideal but life is not ideal and you have to make the best out of it.

 

It would not be less damaging to children to live with parents who do not have normal relationship, than with parents who are apart but who were given a chance at happiness with someone else.

 

Be there for your children and for your partner but do leave when the baby is big enough to sleep through the night and you can share custody 50-50. It would all have to happen sooner or later anyway, and best is to do it while kids are very young.

 

Not to mention the fact that the pregnancy is most likely the result of her cheating which nobody even blinked about. Jesus!

If paternity test shows you are not the father, leave right away.

Good luck!

[Kinl]

You know what's interesting about pamphlets? You can print them out and say what you want in them with absolutely no accountability.

 

Look, if you're happy with a woman who spends her nights up and down feeding a critter that is capable of eating on it's own, have at it.

 

If you're happy with a woman who doesn't have interest in sex because she's "touched out" and sleep deprived, have at it.

 

Just don't complain if you aren't willing to do something.

 

Frankly, it's moot now anyway. She's pregnant again. You're pretty much stuck.

 

I trust her to use her knowledge to make the right decisions for our child.

 

You're right, it's moot now. She's pregnant by another guy, looks like her ex. No longer my problem.

[AMJ]

 

In order for her to be happy I need to spend pretty much all my free time with her. That doesn't work for me. I need to do my own thing. I can't make her happy unless I spend all my time with her.

 

 

Yes, this is what people in serious relationships- or people who have a baby together, typically do. They spend all of their time together.

[AMJ]

Do you have any love for your son at all? You mention him like he's a burden on your life. I get the impression that you hardly help with any of the parenting responsibilities. We know you can't breastfeed. You just sound so disconnected from your own child, it sounds like she's a single parent. How are you helping her raise him? Just by going to work every day?

 

OP you have pretty strong narcissistic qualities. And your GF has some serious self esteem issues. She is a size 2 after giving birth and she thinks she's fat, she's being rejected sexually by you and still wants to keep you around. You are so dismissive of the fact that she was raped daily for so long by her ex boyfriend, and it's so saddening to hear you comment resentfully that she should have moved on from that trauma by now.

 

People can move past sexual trauma, with lots of therapy. But it doesn't sound like she's healed at all. I just feel so, so bad for her. I read all of this and want to give her a huge hug, tell her to find a man who deserves her, who will love her for who she is.

 

How can you not step outside of your own head for a minute and see this situation from her perspective? Have you considered that she may be suffering from postpartum depression, or have other hormonal imbalances that should be treated medically?

 

A good friend of mine is still battling some severe postpartum depression- with two toddler boys. Her doctor refused to give her medication for the first year, telling her that she was fine, but she was not fine. She's in bad shape, and we all know it. Your wife just needs so much help right now, and you're cheating on her because she's not horny.

 

She's trying to give you sex even though her sex drive is gone, to keep you happy. Wow, I just feel so, so terribly bad for her.

[Hopeful714]

My sex needs, my sex needs, my sex needs. How many times do I gotta read this?

 

My gf has my baby, is breastfeeding all day and night, offers me sex.... but I don't want it from HER because she's not making ME feel special and wanted enough. I'M not getting enough attention! Heck, I don't wanna spend all my free time with her and the baby! That's her responsibility. Why can't she put down the dang baby (who does his own thing anyway) and act more sexy with ME and wanting of ME ...you know, like my Skype pal does? I don't give a flying crap that she's exhausted from the baby, a possible new pregnancy and all of the life stressors and issues that accompany those things, nor do I care about her beliefs or life interests in helping other women. I want good sex dammit! I wanna be happy! And by the way, since I'm cheating, she MUST be too! Naw, I'm not responsible for ANY of this mess.

 

Buddy, do your whole "family" (and I say that loosely) a favor and just go. Go knock your socks off getting laid. It's so obvious you are oblivious to anyone else's needs here aside from your own. And after all,,,,,YOUR sex needs are THE absolute MOST important need that exists in this whole entire situation. Suck it up pal. There's much more to life then YOUR sexual gratification and the need for someone to continually pat your as*.

 

I swear if I read one more post like this (and they are soooo common) I'm gonna puke. Uhhhh.