I am so so very angry,he is such a liar.. [UPDATE]

[Louisesarah]

You might of read my previous thread about my best friends brother.

 

Me and him slept together he had a baby and gf etc.

Basically I'm thinking of ending my friendship with my friend because it's bringing me down.

 

Constant reminders which I don't need.

Last night my best friend(like a sis) had a New Year's Eve party and I wasn't invited(her brother and baby and gf were there) so obviously she wouldn't invite me.

Just like she never invited me to Halloween party either.

 

I'm just putting him behind me now,I know whatever that was is done but I don't need to feel like a outcast with my friend it's bringing me down.

Knowing they were all having fun last night and here's me sat home alone feeling worthless and a outcast.

It's not worth it.

I think it's best to say that our friendship can't be a friendship anymore.

I don't want no arguments no drama I just want to say it's best for us to get ties.

Even last year she never invited me( before anything happened) because she knew he liked me.

The other day me and her went for food and she told me I had to wait on the corner as he was at her house.

It's soul destroying.

Do I make a clean break?

I feel like a lepper.

The fact she didn't invite me or wish me happy new year.

Edited January 1, 2016 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
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[Louisesarah]

I really want a clean break.

We have been friends for 15 years but I don't want us to be friends at the expense of my own sanity.

He was not worth all the Agro.

This year I want a nice fresh start meet someone decent and have a nice life.

I don't think whilst I have ties to him I can do it.

I'm happier when me and her don't speak

[anika99]

I think it would be very wise of you to cut ties with that friend. It's sad that a long friendship has to end but the friendship is keeping you stuck in this unhappy state. It sounds like your friend is kind of ready to end the friendship too. She is stuck between you and her family and her divided loyalty is probably weighing on her too. Probably easier for everyone all around to cut ties and move on.

[privategal]

Do you have any family in another state that possibly you could move and start fresh? You live so close.

Either way I think this is why she kept insisting last year that you dont do this with her brother because I think she knew a broken friendship would be inevitable.

I think the family really loves his girlfriend and this is awkward for every one.

If it were me, Id simply stop calling or reaching out..after some time it will likely fade naturally, but if you need an official talk to sever ties go ahead.

Im sorry this was the outcome and Im glad your making a fresh start this year.

Wish you the best!

[Louisesarah]

Too be honest even when he was single and I was single and we used to flirt she hated that too and avoided having us both together.

I don't even think they do even like the gf as they always slagging her off etc.

I've been a good friend to her,lent her money and never got it back she actually stole money from me a few years ago and I forgave her.

In all honestly I believe she has used me for years for money etc

I even paid for a holiday to Egypt for us both and paid her spending money 4 years ago.

 

She tried to hit on my boyfriend 7 years ago yet she forgets these little things whilst trying to make me feel guilty.

In a way maybe this has been a blessing in disguise to get me out of the toxic friendship.

[GoldenAxe]

Yes cut it please for your own sanity

[privategal]

Too be honest even when he was single and I was single and we used to flirt she hated that too and avoided having us both together.

I don't even think they do even like the gf as they always slagging her off etc.

I've been a good friend to her,lent her money and never got it back she actually stole money from me a few years ago and I forgave her.

In all honestly I believe she has used me for years for money etc

I even paid for a holiday to Egypt for us both and paid her spending money 4 years ago.

 

She tried to hit on my boyfriend 7 years ago yet she forgets these little things whilst trying to make me feel guilty.

In a way maybe this has been a blessing in disguise to get me out of the toxic friendship.

 

To have to ask whether this friend should stay in your life is just unfathomable.

So you let her AND her brother take advantage and you can't let go of either after abusive behaviour?

You should invest in counseling as something inside you is missing. I feel its love, and that you will get that love from unhealthy sources because you need it. This doesn't make you a bad person. You just need some understanding, to keep taking your meds and make a fresh start your first and only priority.

Dont let this chance to truly change yourself and get better pass you by.

Id really look into moving far away or across town. But having no more associations with this whole family is not even a question.

[whichwayisup]

End it. For your own peace of mind and sanity. The friendship isn't the same and you'll always feel 'bad' on some level if you continue with her so it's best to let go.

 

Question? Why didn't you make plans for NYE with other friends? You sat home alone and let her dictate your mood to start off the year. That's on you, not her or her bro. You chose to wallow in it instead of saying F-IT, I'm gonna have fun somewhere else with my other friends!

 

Focus on letting go and grieving the losses and look forward to the future with friends who love you and treat you with love, respect and kindness.

[Louisesarah]

I wasn't feeling great anyway with a cold so just had a few glasses of wine and ordered food.

In a way I'm scared if I end friendship what she will do.

Last time we fell out something strange happened.

The police knocked on my door and said they had a anon tip off that I had witnessed a assault on a woman.

I didn't have a clue what they were on about and still think she was behind it.

Then another time she tried to hit on my boyfriend( he told me ) then sent his sister messages pretending to be me saying I hated her.

 

She can be dangerous and I get worried.

In a way( this sounds awful) I enjoyed sneaking around with her brother as I knew she hated me and him talking and it was like pay back.

I know bad idea.

[whichwayisup]

You owe her NOTHING. She's not a friend, so just go on like she isn't there. If she calls, brush her off, say you're busy. It's not like you have to have a sit down conversation and tell her why you're ending things with her. There's no loyalty, trust or even 'like' left in the friendship anymore. Let it go, it will have a natural death on it's own as time goes on.

[sandylee1]

I suggest you cut ties with her. She's clearly used you over the years and a true friend would never hit on your BF.

 

If you don't like drama ........ just tell her you've got a lot of personal stuff going on and you need time out alone to work through it all right now ..... Don't go into any details.... . You can do it by text......and then simply block her number.

 

Tell her not to contact you while you're figuring things and if and when you're in a better place ........ you will give her a shout. That's all you need to say.

 

Then try and focus on your healing and do stuff for yourself. Meet new people and put those lot in your past.

 

She's not a friend at all...The sooner you realise that the better. Give me a shout via PM if you want and take care of yourself sweetie.

[privategal]

You having sex and sneaking around with her brother as revenge is every bit as toxic as her behavior and you need to acknowledge that to yourself.

It doesn't matter if you fear what she will do to you if you end the friendship, its what shes done while you are in the friendship that I would be fearful of.

You commented here that the family didnt like the girlfriend but in another thread you mentioned your friend bringing her up in a favorable light over and over and how that hurt you. I now believe that was intentional to hurt you more.

It's just an incredibly toxic bond you have with this entire family which is why I brought up relocating a couple times to begin a safe and healthy distance.

I agree with the no drama way of ending things. The most mature way I believe is a ditect nice conversation, or if possible, just you quietly walking away..the latter may cause issues if she starts to get angry from being ignored without explanation.

Confide in family, get some support, acknowledge some of your own actions greatly contributed so that you dont play victim but rather take the hard lessons and the hard steps to walk away and start new.

I wouldn't date until you've taken time to properly heal and fix somethings.

A new relationship isnt meant to fill voids and wont fix you.

You've gotta go it alone right now and regain your self esteem, get your strength and hope and belief in yourself back so you can be a healthy partner at some point.

Right now you need family, and a new situation all around.

[Louisesarah]

I have confided in other friends and they've said pretty much the same thing.

It's not a coincidence the days I don't talk to her and her mentioning him are the days I feel good about myself.

I do need a lot of work on myself why I allowed myself to act this way..that is totally on my shoulders.

Today and yesterday were good days.

I don't have Him constantly in my head now.

Il be honest I don't know if it's him that I actually wanted or just the attention and fake love I felt.

I think I just want to be loved rather than him love me.

I know eventually I will be ok again.

[Louisesarah]

In a ideal world I would love to move but then I think I have a nice apartment which is finally decorated how I like,it's 5 minutes walk to the city,shops,pubs,train station Etc.

Plus the rent is so reasonable

[anika99]

Too be honest even when he was single and I was single and we used to flirt she hated that too and avoided having us both together.

I don't even think they do even like the gf as they always slagging her off etc.

I've been a good friend to her,lent her money and never got it back she actually stole money from me a few years ago and I forgave her.

In all honestly I believe she has used me for years for money etc

I even paid for a holiday to Egypt for us both and paid her spending money 4 years ago.

 

She tried to hit on my boyfriend 7 years ago yet she forgets these little things whilst trying to make me feel guilty.

In a way maybe this has been a blessing in disguise to get me out of the toxic friendship.

 

Based on this and her brother's actions regarding his drinking and cheating can you not see that this whole family is toxic and dysfunctional? All the more reason to cut ties and get them out of your life.

[Louisesarah]

Yes I think it's starting to hit home that I'm best out of it.

Everything happens for a reason so they say.

[still_an_Angel]

In this case yes, best to let go of the friendship as well. Blood is thicker and her loyalties are clearly defined. Most unfortunate but you need to save yourself.

[Louisesarah]

Well it's been two weeks now since she spoke to me.

I text her last Tuesday saying if you don't think it's a good idea to stay friends just say and she didn't reply.

I find this very strange and unsettling.

She has knew about me and him since July so she wouldn't just not speak because of that now.

I'm worried something has been said either he has been drunk and made his mouth go and she has brought if up.

I really think something has happened for her to do this

I haven't slept and I'm worried sick.

What could of happened?

[MJJean]

Who cares?!?!?!?! Really, I say it with kindness, whatever happened doesn't matter. These people seem pretty freakin toxic. Let them go!

[Louisesarah]

I know ..I guess we couldn't go on like we were.

It was to a point where if me and my "friend" were out somewhere and I tagged her on Facebook she wouldn't let it show on her wall as she didn't want her brother to see anything about me anymore.

[Louisesarah]

Logged on to Facebook and she has posted a status saying

"Truth out,so good to get the truth out"

I'm panicking.

If she has told him will he think I betrayed him?

He told me not to say anything and I told her but I only did that after he treated me like he did and I was so upset and felt so used.

I didn't do it to hurt him or drop him in it.

I did it because I was so upset ..I loved him and he didn't treat me good.

I feel like he must hate me so much now.

[sandylee1]

I say block her ON FB and move on with your life.

 

Stop worrying about what he's said... why would he reveal all when he would equally look bad.

 

The whole family are not the best ...... just put them behind you and seek happiness elsewhere.....they just treat you like crap.

 

If you can't bring yourself to block her..then hide her notifications.

 

Think positive and you'll begin to feel better... don't wallow in self pity.

[Louisesarah]

He gets drunk and starts turning abusive to his mum and sister.

I think this has happened and my friend has retaliated buy saying I know what you did etc.

If he hates me he hates me..he's done wrong too.

[Lurkeraspect]

Please just unfriend and block all of these people. They are not your friends and it seems pretty evident they don't have your best interests at heart. Just let it go and stop trying to figure out what's going on with these toxic people.

[Poppy47]

what kind of people are you hanging out with??

 

They sound like a pair of con artists.

 

Find yourself some decent people to have for friends... not people who are abusive cheating drunks.

 

Good people would not treat you like this.

 

Poppy.