I am so so very angry,he is such a liar.. [UPDATE]

[Ms. Faust]

You can easily disassociate with these people. Her ignoring you is a blessing, and a great opportunity for you to move on.

 

Don't feed into her vague-booking, it's pretty childish.

[Louisesarah]

I've just blocked them on Facebook.

I just hope she doesn't try and cause some trouble for me.

Both of them were only out for what they could get.

[Louisesarah]

I knew he knew that I told his sister.

He said "why did you do that,I trusted you and you do that,can't believe I actually had feelings for you"

Feel upset :-(

[eye of the storm]

Many people like to make others feel bad when they are caught with their hand in the cookie jar.

 

He cheated on his GF, with you, you told his sister, you are the bad person.

 

Don't buy what he is selling. Just get yourself out of this environment.

[Louisesarah]

It's so stupid that I'm thinking he now hates me and if any feelings he had were real I've spoilt that even tho he treated me like total rubbish and even if anything was genuine he doesn't deserve me anyway.

[ladydesigner]

Many people like to make others feel bad when they are caught with their hand in the cookie jar.

 

He cheated on his GF, with you, you told his sister, you are the bad person.

 

Don't buy what he is selling. Just get yourself out of this environment.

 

I wish I could like this post a million times!

 

It's not you (((Louisesarah))) It's HIM efff him!!!

[ladydesigner]

It's so stupid that I'm thinking he now hates me and if any feelings he had were real I've spoilt that even tho he treated me like total rubbish and even if anything was genuine he doesn't deserve me anyway.

 

No he doesn't deserve you! Look at what kind of person he is. A coward.

[Louisesarah]

I didn't even reply I'm not getting dragged into it.

He blames everyone for the mistakes he makes.

Now his sister text me blaming me for him hating her.

She says he hates her because I am her friend and he can't even talk to me.

I'm done with the lot of them.

Total head f****

[Louisesarah]

He makes me so angry.

If he had liked me like he said he could of been with me.

He choose his life he choose to treat me like crap.

He wanted to cheat but doesn't want the reality of what it entailed.

Why should I of been his dirty little secret.

My eyes are open now.

He had plenty of opportunities before the baby to be with me like he said he wanted.

Wether or not he was talking crap or confused or scared who knows and seriously who cares.

[ladydesigner]

Move on with your held held high and leave this mess behind!

 

He created this mess! Let them figure it out

[Louisesarah]

I'm going to.

It amazes me how I got the blame for it then again it's no surprise.

You know the funny thing if he had cheated with anyone else my friend wouldn't of gave a damn it's literally just because it's me.

[Lois_Griffin]

It's so stupid that I'm thinking he now hates me and if any feelings he had were real I've spoilt that even tho he treated me like total rubbish and even if anything was genuine he doesn't deserve me anyway.

I would agree with you wholeheartedly - it IS stupid.

 

Let me ask you something.

 

In the end, were you ANY farther along with him than you were in the beginning?

 

What I mean is that most people meet, date, fall in love, then eventually begin to mesh their lives together and build a future. They may choose to live together or marry, and may invest in homes, cars, stocks and bonds, etc. They might have children together and embrace each other's family members, building familial ties. Over the years, they build memories and history together, plan for their future and retirement together, maybe they decide to open a business together - the sky is the limit. Eventually, they hope to travel when they retire, or re-live their youth through their grandchildren, etc. etc

 

That's how most average relationships progress over time.

 

So that's why I ask, were you ANY further along at the end than you were in the beginning? And no, him carving out a few extra hours a week for you or sending a Christmas text when you thought he couldn't don't count.

 

I have the feeling that your answer is no, that n the end, things were still much the way they were all along. I would imagine you hadn't progressed at all past being in a secret affair and having to play by his rules and his schedule.

 

Therefore, I ask in all sincerity what it is you think you're missing? At best, you barely had the very minimum a person could possibly give you, so how hard could it be to lose?

[Louisesarah]

It wasn't even that.

He spent years telling me he wanted to be with me but never had the balls to do anything about it.

We sleep together he either gets scared or got what he wanted then goes.

All this wasted time texting ,ringing.

Thinking finally he might realise he wanted me it was all wasted time when I could be meeting someone who only wanted me and wasn't ashamed

[Dancewithme]

Yay, you! It appears the fog is lifting. As I advised you a long time ago, ditch this whole family. Let them wallow in their own drama. Surround yourself with less toxic people. It's a new year, start it with your head held high, and a new attitude.

[Louisesarah]

Thankyou I'm going too :-)

[RySant]

Thankyou I'm going too :-)

 

Never thought I'm gonna say this but from a thousand miles away, I AM SO PROUD OF YOU!

[sandylee1]

How did they message you after you blocked them?

 

Keep ignoring the lot of them everywhere possible. You don't need any of them in your life ... total wastes of space they are.

 

He simply can't accept and own his sh** like a grown up adult and she is a lousy friend.

[privategal]

How did they message you after you blocked them?

 

Keep ignoring the lot of them everywhere possible. You don't need any of them in your life ... total wastes of space they are.

 

He simply can't accept and own his sh** like a grown up adult and she is a lousy friend.

 

You trusted him to not to #!%& you then disappear without a word like you were trash.

[Louisesarah]

I blocked on Facebook and whatsapp but they messaged through my normal text message.

I didn't reply to either of them.

Exactly I didn't expect to be treated like garbage so unlucky.

[georgia girl]

Louisesarah,

 

Because you sound so young and hurt, may I offer some advice? First, I am pleased to see that you are finally starting to take this guy off of a pedestal and see him for who he is. Now, it's time to start establishing yourself for who you really are.

 

I would genuinely like you to see this moment in time as a true opportunity to grow and become the woman who will someday be forever grateful for this experience. You still have very strong romantic feelings for this guy and you also have a strong desire to be close to his family (sister and mother), despite the steps you've recently taken. My first advice is this: deny those feelings and don't ever un-block them. In fact, never speak to either of them again. If you have to, simply state (very calmly) that you have no desire to speak to them nor hear what they have to say.

 

This is actually the tough part. Because I do think that you still care for him. But, you need to tell your heart and mind that it's over and that he is literally dead to you. That no matter what happens on this earth or what he does to make this up to you, it cannot and will not matter.

 

The next steps on your journey will be to do some inner soul-searching. If you have to, write a list of how you want the people in your life to treat you. If you write down respect, add a definition of what that means for you. If you write down kindness, add another definition. On another sheet of paper, copy down all of those character traits that you think you can offer someone. Again, add definitions. Then, on a final sheet of paper, draw a house. Consider those your boundaries. Put all of the things of how you said you wanted to be treated on the inside of the house and the opposite of those things on the outside.

 

You have just set up your standards... or as I call them, your terms of endearment. You have established for yourself the boundaries under which you will treat others and how you will expect them to treat you. What you have done is powerful stuff.

 

Now, the challenge becomes living them. If I can share with you, I was an "unlucky at love" kind of girl. While I am fairly attractive, I just always seemed to find the wrong guy, get in a push-pull relationship and generally get my heart broken. I did the little exercise I described above. What I realized was that I was always "bending the boundaries" for guys I was infatuated with. Invariably, because I bent, they pushed more and I got myself into relationships where I wasn't treated well.

 

The next guy I met after I did that little scenario is now my husband and he's by far the love of my life. And you know what? He never pushed my boundaries. But on the flipside, I could tell something had changed within me. If he had pushed them - no matter how much I liked him - I would have walked away in a heartbeat. In fact, having those boundaries and being so careful with them made me very cautious with my heart. In the end, I think that was part of the "secret sauce" that made us successful. We both had had our boundaries pushed in the past and having met each other, we were careful and cautious. Therefore, we fell in love painfully slow - or at least slow until he had a terrible training accident.

 

You are young and you want the rush of falling in love. That's tremendous and you should enjoy that. But there is a way to date and fall in love successfully that will respect your person, regardless of whether or not the relationship works out. Please consider doing the above. You seem kind and gentle and lonely. I hope this helps you find you and how you want to be treated.

 

Hugs, GG

[whichwayisup]

I blocked on Facebook and whatsapp but they messaged through my normal text message.

I didn't reply to either of them.

Exactly I didn't expect to be treated like garbage so unlucky.

 

Block their numbers from your cell too. IF need be, call your cell company and get them to do the blocking for you.

[Louisesarah]

Louisesarah,

 

Because you sound so young and hurt, may I offer some advice? First, I am pleased to see that you are finally starting to take this guy off of a pedestal and see him for who he is. Now, it's time to start establishing yourself for who you really are.

 

I would genuinely like you to see this moment in time as a true opportunity to grow and become the woman who will someday be forever grateful for this experience. You still have very strong romantic feelings for this guy and you also have a strong desire to be close to his family (sister and mother), despite the steps you've recently taken. My first advice is this: deny those feelings and don't ever un-block them. In fact, never speak to either of them again. If you have to, simply state (very calmly) that you have no desire to speak to them nor hear what they have to say.

 

This is actually the tough part. Because I do think that you still care for him. But, you need to tell your heart and mind that it's over and that he is literally dead to you. That no matter what happens on this earth or what he does to make this up to you, it cannot and will not matter.

 

The next steps on your journey will be to do some inner soul-searching. If you have to, write a list of how you want the people in your life to treat you. If you write down respect, add a definition of what that means for you. If you write down kindness, add another definition. On another sheet of paper, copy down all of those character traits that you think you can offer someone. Again, add definitions. Then, on a final sheet of paper, draw a house. Consider those your boundaries. Put all of the things of how you said you wanted to be treated on the inside of the house and the opposite of those things on the outside.

 

You have just set up your standards... or as I call them, your terms of endearment. You have established for yourself the boundaries under which you will treat others and how you will expect them to treat you. What you have done is powerful stuff.

 

Now, the challenge becomes living them. If I can share with you, I was an "unlucky at love" kind of girl. While I am fairly attractive, I just always seemed to find the wrong guy, get in a push-pull relationship and generally get my heart broken. I did the little exercise I described above. What I realized was that I was always "bending the boundaries" for guys I was infatuated with. Invariably, because I bent, they pushed more and I got myself into relationships where I wasn't treated well.

 

The next guy I met after I did that little scenario is now my husband and he's by far the love of my life. And you know what? He never pushed my boundaries. But on the flipside, I could tell something had changed within me. If he had pushed them - no matter how much I liked him - I would have walked away in a heartbeat. In fact, having those boundaries and being so careful with them made me very cautious with my heart. In the end, I think that was part of the "secret sauce" that made us successful. We both had had our boundaries pushed in the past and having met each other, we were careful and cautious. Therefore, we fell in love painfully slow - or at least slow until he had a terrible training accident.

 

You are young and you want the rush of falling in love. That's tremendous and you should enjoy that. But there is a way to date and fall in love successfully that will respect your person, regardless of whether or not the relationship works out. Please consider doing the above. You seem kind and gentle and lonely. I hope this helps you find you and how you want to be treated.

 

Hugs, GG

 

It is true I won't lie I do still have some feeling there but not more than the respect I have for myself.

There is no way after what has happened I would ever have anything to do with him.

I know I deserve better and I'm proud of myself for not replying.

 

I am disappointed in my friend I know she has done some bad things to me but I was always there for her.

Lending her money,going to apointments with her,listening to her,doing shopping for her mum,lending her mum money,driving her mum to hospital apts.

 

I don't think they appreciated anything.

I'm thinking of myself now.

Tbh the 3 of them have hurt me one way or another and in a way it is a weight of my shoulders to not have to deal with all the drama.

[Louisesarah]

Haven't posted here for a while but things have been stired up again.

Most of you probably remember my post I slept with friends brother and we had spoken text/phone for years.

Anyway me and friend hasn't spoke since new year and yesterday I bumped into her.

She explained.

New Year's Eve he came to his mums where she was and started commenting about me,saying she's pretty.

His mum took him to one side and said I know what's went on between you.

I know when your drunk you don't know what your saying or doing and make mistakes.

He's eventually admitted about me and him but it's been made to look like I'm the stupid woman helpless in love with him and he is this poor guy who's been too drunk and not known what he was doing blah blah.

It wasn't the case he was the one who chased me.

He was the one (sober ) talking about if we were a couple.

Yet he is sitting there playing the oops I didn't know what I was doing card..it's a joke.

Then later in the night my friend said she was walking out the room and turned round and said "can't believe Louise hasn't even bothered wishing me happy new year" then she said he got up so angry and grabbed her pined her up by her throat and screamed "don't you mention her name"

 

My friend said I wasn't being nasty about you I was just saying you hadn't text (whether or not she was who knows)

Why did he react like that?

Why is he such a coward?

So many questions

But I'm just so confused as to why he got so angry and pined her up saying don't mention her name.

[basil67]

Haven't posted here for a while but things have been stired up again.

Most of you probably remember my post I slept with friends brother and we had spoken text/phone for years.

Anyway me and friend hasn't spoke since new year and yesterday I bumped into her.

She explained.

New Year's Eve he came to his mums where she was and started commenting about me,saying she's pretty.

His mum took him to one side and said I know what's went on between you.

I know when your drunk you don't know what your saying or doing and make mistakes.

He's eventually admitted about me and him but it's been made to look like I'm the stupid woman helpless in love with him and he is this poor guy who's been too drunk and not known what he was doing blah blah.

It wasn't the case he was the one who chased me.

He was the one (sober ) talking about if we were a couple.

Yet he is sitting there playing the oops I didn't know what I was doing card..it's a joke.

Then later in the night my friend said she was walking out the room and turned round and said "can't believe Louise hasn't even bothered wishing me happy new year" then she said he got up so angry and grabbed her pined her up by her throat and screamed "don't you mention her name"

 

My friend said I wasn't being nasty about you I was just saying you hadn't text (whether or not she was who knows)

Why did he react like that?

Why is he such a coward?

So many questions

But I'm just so confused as to why he got so angry and pined her up saying don't mention her name.

 

Why is he playing the victim and being a coward? Because he has a girlfriend and a baby to keep. Sorry, but it's not rocket science.

[Cloudcuckoo]

I would say this might tell you that none of it really matters, and you've evidently had quite a lucky escape. Violence never solved anything.

 

Perhaps you might ask your friend not to mention him to you, or you to him? This way you won't be upset by his obviously deranged behaviour because you won't know about it, saving yourself unnecessary anguish.