Surprise split (update/version two)

[Saf17]

So, for those who have read my first thread about my seperation, I wanted to update and make sure those who wanted to know could find out how it is coming along.

 

So, been in conversation with my wife from time to time since we split over a week ago. I have information from people I trust that she did not cheat so we are not going down the adultery route. We have no kids, no joint bills, no house, literally nothing to share apart from the marriage.

 

The divorce papers are being filled and we will be filing them by the end of February at the latest. She is admitting and we're going the route of - the marriage has broken down irretrievably and that she has behaved in such a way that I cannot be expected to live with her. Just awaiting finalisation of the reasons then will re-update. Thanks for all the responses, support and help so far all.

 

So basically the reasons : that she admitted she doesn't love me anymore and stated repeatedly, her behaviour has been nasty and she gets verbally aggressive, that she broke trust to check my texts and calls and also checked my whereabouts, that she refused to socialise with friends or family and worked long hours to not spend time with me. Not sure if that's enough but I can only hope.

Edited February 10, 2016 by Saf17

[testmeasure]

Sounds like you've got it planned out, and it's going pretty smoothly.

 

Does she have an attorney and you have one or are you using just one attorney to draw up the papers? You are having an attorney write this up, or at least review it right? (I may have missed some stuff out of the last thread.)

 

Was there going to be any spousal support? I'm not sure if I remember the specifics of who was working. But be careful to read everything.

 

So all property is already divided up without any disagreement? There was some wording in mine that she keeps property in her possession, I keep property in my possession. That might have been boiler plate and we removed it because it wasn't exactly true. We still had a bunch of stuff she hadn't let me get for months. In your case, if you're happy with the current division it might be nice to see some wording like that.

 

It would be good to have specified how 2015 taxes are going to be filed. Or at least know for sure that you will have them done before it all finalizes. You don't want there to be some kind of joint liability or asset that shows that's not covered by the papers. Maybe there's an obvious way you guys do this stuff, but get it in writing or have the taxes done before the divorce finalizes.

 

If you guys separated after 2016 started, you might need something about 2016 taxes in there too. I don't know. Because of the timing of mine I only had to deal with 1 tax year that had to be worked out how we were going to do it.

 

It sounds like this is going amicably. I'm just thinking of small things now. It's actually pretty cool to finally be reminding someone of something as simple as not forgetting to think about how the taxes are going to be done.

 

When you get the papers, do the same. Try and think of small stuff. Think if there's anything left out. Anything she still has of yours, any credit card with a balance that's not listed or specified how to handle. You get the idea. Having a well specified complete set of papers will keep things amicable.

 

 

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[Saf17]

It's all planned and going smoothly so far. We are actually doing the divorce ourself then running it by an attorney when it's all written up but befor either of us sign. We have already split everything we had (which wasn't much). I have all of my stuff at my parents (where I live now) and she has all her stuff at her mums. I've gone back to my seperate bank account and we've signed off on taking me off the joint account. I signed that paperwork today.

 

We literally have nothing left to share or together other than the divorce and legally she is taking all fault for the breakup which is mostly her fault (a relationship is a two way thing so some of it must be my fault).

 

However, you have given me things to think about and make sure I have everything tied up so nothing can come back to bite me. We only had one credit card and I'm taking that and its debt as its in my name but I can handle that easily. Thanks for the advice

[PegNosePete]

Make sure you remember to get a consent order. There might not be any assets right now but if one of you gets a large inheritance or wins the lottery, you don't want the other taking half. Tie up the loose ends now and dismiss all future claims as part of the divorce process. It's pretty cheap when things are very simple, but it could cost you dearly if you don't!

[Charm22]

I am so sorry to hear that you are going through with the divorce. Doyou think there is any chance at reconciliation? The reason I ask is becausesometimes people grow apart but it does not mean that they do not love eachother. Sometimes it helps to have aneutral party listen to both sides of an argument in order to bring perspectiveto the situation. It sounds like things are moving fast toward divorce, but doyou think counseling might be worth a try?