JuneJulySeptember Posted February 10, 2016 Share Posted February 10, 2016 (edited) Fellas, What do you think of women who are quite attractive and really nice, and who actually kind of like you, BUT ... you just don't have a common denominator. You think "Wow, she's hot, and she's nice, AND she's actually calling me to set up dates, but she's just different or maybe not that exciting." Of course, there's lots of women who are attractive and nice, but usually they never like us! That's the usual and the end right there. And there might be women who click with us and are nice, but maybe aren't that attractive. Different guys will approach that differently. And women who you feel you click with and are fairly attractive, but they have a 'meh' attitude and could care less if you got hit by a bus right in front of them. That one is the most common. You might have even married one of those. But a quite attractive woman who is kind and reciprocates, but you're not quite cut from the same cloth, that one is a tough call. Edited February 10, 2016 by JuneJulySeptember 1 Link to post Share on other sites
hasaquestion Posted February 10, 2016 Share Posted February 10, 2016 One reason why is that you aren't looking for the same commitment. You might be only open to FWB or at most a play-it-by-ear relationship, and she might be a serious kind of girl. She might want a relationship that she knows is going somewhere. You know you can't provide that, and find her too nice to mess around with. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
SwordofFlame Posted February 10, 2016 Share Posted February 10, 2016 What do you mean? Like no common interests? Different values? Can you be more specific? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author JuneJulySeptember Posted February 10, 2016 Author Share Posted February 10, 2016 One reason why is that you aren't looking for the same commitment. You might be only open to FWB or at most a play-it-by-ear relationship, and she might be a serious kind of girl. She might want a relationship that she knows is going somewhere. You know you can't provide that, and find her too nice to mess around with. Yea, if I didn't care at all, I'd have already made the decision to drive to the goal full speed ahead, because she is hot. I assume it will take care of itself and SHE will probably reject me or it will naturally fall apart. What do you mean? Like no common interests? Different values? Can you be more specific? A little weird, a little socially awkward. From another culture. But kind of a refreshing change from the self confident, arrogant "Is this person worth 30 minutes of my time on a Friday night? Where have you traveled? How passionate are you about your job?" kind of attitude that is prevalent in America. I think she actually partially likes me because I'm a nice guy. How strange is that? Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted February 10, 2016 Share Posted February 10, 2016 Fellas, What do you think of women who are quite attractive and really nice, and who actually kind of like you, BUT ... you just don't have a common denominator. Never met one buts that's unsurprising. You think "Wow, she's hot, and she's nice, AND she's actually calling me to set up dates, but she's just different or maybe not that exciting." Set up dates? Calling? Still my beating heart! Of course, there's lots of women who are attractive and nice, but usually they never like us! That's the usual and the end right there. And there might be women who click with us and are nice, but maybe aren't that attractive. If you're talking about a lifetime of interaction with women, sure. However the main thing which kinda squelched any attraction was, well, they were married. Different guys will approach that differentlyHa, yeah, you got that right. And women who you feel you click with and are fairly attractive, but they have a 'meh' attitude and could care less if you got hit by a bus right in front of them. That one is the most common. You might have even married one of those. Ha, yeah in retrospect I did. She did a wonderful job of letting me love her. She was very accommodating and it didn't feel unhealthy at all. I recall, in the depths of despair while caregiving, venting some of that despair and the response was 'well, what do you want me to do about it?' Heh, bus meet face But a quite attractive woman who is kind and reciprocates, but you're not quite cut from the same cloth, that one is a tough call. Ha, ha, I've run into a couple of those since getting divorced. Unfortunately the first one turned out, yet again, to be married! So, I donned my skeptical suit and retired from the milieu. Gone fishin' and thanks for the memories. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
SwordofFlame Posted February 10, 2016 Share Posted February 10, 2016 A little weird, a little socially awkward. From another culture. But kind of a refreshing change from the self confident, arrogant "Is this person worth 30 minutes of my time on a Friday night? Where have you traveled? How passionate are you about your job?" kind of attitude that is prevalent in America. I think she actually partially likes me because I'm a nice guy. How strange is that? I would be totally into her. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Imajerk17 Posted February 11, 2016 Share Posted February 11, 2016 (edited) Real talk: It sounds to me that you are experiencing precisely what many guys in here say is experienced only by women (and Top-Tier Men). Let me get this straight here. You are seeing someone who is attractive, nice, and seems really into you, but you are still wondering whether you should continue because you don't feel this elusive "Connection". Is that right? I just found that really interesting. But I digress. Anyway I actually think your doubts are well-founded. I am a guy and if a girl and I aren't clicking it won't work for me. She and I can be friends though.... I also believe in giving something that looks like it could be good a chance. Edited February 11, 2016 by Imajerk17 9 Link to post Share on other sites
Author JuneJulySeptember Posted February 11, 2016 Author Share Posted February 11, 2016 (edited) Ha, yeah, you got that right. Ha, yeah in retrospect I did. She did a wonderful job of letting me love her. She was very accommodating and it didn't feel unhealthy at all. I recall, in the depths of despair while caregiving, venting some of that despair and the response was 'well, what do you want me to do about it?' Heh, bus meet face That was me too. My most serious relationship just didn't give a **** about me and looked as proud to have me around as a Merlot stain on her blouse. Of course, others were better. But just a woman being into me and paying attention and being a nice person means so much. Edited February 11, 2016 by JuneJulySeptember Link to post Share on other sites
Author JuneJulySeptember Posted February 11, 2016 Author Share Posted February 11, 2016 (edited) Real talk: It sounds to me that you are experiencing precisely what many guys in here say is experienced only by women (and Top-Tier Men). Let me get this straight here. You are seeing someone who is attractive, nice, and seems really into you, but you are still wondering whether you should continue because you don't feel this elusive "Connection". Is that right? I just found that really interesting. But I digress. Anyway I actually think your doubts are well-founded. I am a guy and if a girl and I aren't clicking it won't work for me. She and I can be friends though.... I also believe in giving something that looks like it could be good a chance. BTW. I liked your post. I liked everybody's post, because the 'like' function on this forum is divisive and serves little purpose except ... that. I might get banned (again) for saying that. Oh well. Edited February 11, 2016 by JuneJulySeptember Link to post Share on other sites
The Poster Posted February 11, 2016 Share Posted February 11, 2016 Sometimes that connection and chemistry takes some time to grow. She seems like she is very down to earth, and kindness is always at the top of my preference list. Don't just give in so easily. Give it a little time and see if your feelings start to change. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
hasaquestion Posted February 11, 2016 Share Posted February 11, 2016 Yea, if I didn't care at all, I'd have already made the decision to drive to the goal full speed ahead, because she is hot. I assume it will take care of itself and SHE will probably reject me or it will naturally fall apart. A little weird, a little socially awkward. From another culture. But kind of a refreshing change from the self confident, arrogant "Is this person worth 30 minutes of my time on a Friday night? Where have you traveled? How passionate are you about your job?" kind of attitude that is prevalent in America. I think she actually partially likes me because I'm a nice guy. How strange is that? Thought this was truly a hypothetical. Congrats. It doesn't sound like there's any reason for you not to keep seeing this person. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Revolver Posted February 11, 2016 Share Posted February 11, 2016 Immediate skepticism. That doesn't happen to guys like me 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Eternal Sunshine Posted February 11, 2016 Share Posted February 11, 2016 Real talk: It sounds to me that you are experiencing precisely what many guys in here say is experienced only by women (and Top-Tier Men). Let me get this straight here. You are seeing someone who is attractive, nice, and seems really into you, but you are still wondering whether you should continue because you don't feel this elusive "Connection". Is that right? I just found that really interesting. But I digress. Anyway I actually think your doubts are well-founded. I am a guy and if a girl and I aren't clicking it won't work for me. She and I can be friends though.... I also believe in giving something that looks like it could be good a chance. Exactly. I was going to say that. And then OP goes on to say that this woman lacks confidence and is a bit socially awkward I have seen so many threads of men complaining how women won't give them a chance because they are shy and lack confidence And every time I go to say that it really the same for both sexes and it's hard to find a connection. Guys go on to say that there is no such thing as "connection" and women have "unrealistic standards". Speechless. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Rejected Rosebud Posted February 11, 2016 Share Posted February 11, 2016 I think it's a good thing that you're experiencing this. Now you'll never again question women who think you're a "nice guy" but are just not into you. You'll always understand and accept it from now on! 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author JuneJulySeptember Posted February 11, 2016 Author Share Posted February 11, 2016 Thought this was truly a hypothetical. Congrats. It doesn't sound like there's any reason for you not to keep seeing this person. Thanks man. Nothing has materialized yet, but she actually did call me for a date. Link to post Share on other sites
Author JuneJulySeptember Posted February 11, 2016 Author Share Posted February 11, 2016 Exactly. I was going to say that. And then OP goes on to say that this woman lacks confidence and is a bit socially awkward I have seen so many threads of men complaining how women won't give them a chance because they are shy and lack confidence And every time I go to say that it really the same for both sexes and it's hard to find a connection. Guys go on to say that there is no such thing as "connection" and women have "unrealistic standards". Speechless. Why not post ... happy thoughts? :lmao: Link to post Share on other sites
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