Is she cheating; pregnant by another man?

[aliveagain]

Friend, you can't control other people and your best defence is to be proactive, right now your being reactive so you need to get a step ahead of them. You have rights as a father, she can't just pick up and move with your child, you can even get a restraining order on the other man to keep him away from your son. You need a good lawyer, the best you can afford. The Courts in Canada are no fault, their main interest is making sure the children are protected.

 

The O/M has it all wrong, you are in his life forever because he can't take your son away from you unless you abandon him. You may want to expose this POS to his superior's, the military may have rules that deal with situations like yours. If your common law wife has his baby, just don't sign the birth certificate until paternity is proven. I live in Alberta and I had a to deal with a spouse that had her affair partners baby, I didn't know until he was almost a year old. A very wise lawyer once told me the secret of law, anything that can be done to you can be undone. You have rights even with the unborn child, you and your girlfriend are in a common law relationship. You may want to use that information to negotiate yourself out of this relay bad situation.

[Bryanp]

I think the best revenge against the OM is having her marry him:)

[RRM321]

She was never over him. She never should have gotten into another relationship. And sure as hell shouldn't have had a baby.

 

This sounds like your real issue is that you couldn't force her to abort your own child the first time?

 

Unfortunately sir, you declined your best options to prevent pregnancy the first time by having unprotected sex, and then subsequently declined to make the kind of life changes and commitment that would have prevented the second?

 

I recommend being a better man instead of a vindictive sore loser.

Edited February 14, 2016 by RRM321

[Kinl]

"Ruin" is a goal at which you will fail miserably. Furthermore, in your present course you are also likely to lose any custody of your own child. You sound that dangerous.

 

It appears that both your past and present finally caught up with you. She is now finally doing the right thing for her children whether this second child is yours or not. I return to my original suspicion that you are a man she needs to get very far away from.

 

I wish her well, and I wish you sanity and a jail free future.

 

So because I think they should suffer I'm dangerous?

 

 

Friend, you can't control other people and your best defence is to be proactive, right now your being reactive so you need to get a step ahead of them. You have rights as a father, she can't just pick up and move with your child, you can even get a restraining order on the other man to keep him away from your son. You need a good lawyer, the best you can afford. The Courts in Canada are no fault, their main interest is making sure the children are protected.

 

The O/M has it all wrong, you are in his life forever because he can't take your son away from you unless you abandon him. You may want to expose this POS to his superior's, the military may have rules that deal with situations like yours. If your common law wife has his baby, just don't sign the birth certificate until paternity is proven. I live in Alberta and I had a to deal with a spouse that had her affair partners baby, I didn't know until he was almost a year old. A very wise lawyer once told me the secret of law, anything that can be done to you can be undone. You have rights even with the unborn child, you and your girlfriend are in a common law relationship. You may want to use that information to negotiate yourself out of this relay bad situation.

 

Good points. I have a lawyer appointment this coming week. I'm going to see about having a restraining order against him so he can't be near my son. Then arrange custody so she has my son on his days off.

 

And I'll figure out who to contact to get in touch with his superiors.

 

I think the best revenge against the OM is having her marry him:)

 

So marrying the "love of her life" is revenge? Sure sounds like it. He said he's not going to have a bastard child, which to me means he wants to marry her before the baby comes.

 

This sounds like your real issue is that you couldn't force her to abort your own child the first time?

 

Unfortunately sir, you declined your best options to prevent pregnancy the first time by having unprotected sex, and then subsequently declined to make the kind of life changes and commitment that would have prevented the second?

 

I recommend being a better man instead of a vindictive sore loser.

 

SHE wanted to try for a baby. Why would she want that while being with the OM? Its not something I wanted.

 

They are the losers. Pathetic losers.

[sandylee1]

After his "I'm not going to fight with you. If you want to sit down like men and talk, then fine. But I'm not stepping to your level. Get use to me, I'm not going anywhere. It's in your best interest to learn to co-parent. If not, you are the one that looks bad." reply. I said some things.

 

He texted back a couple hours later, "Unlike you, I know how to be the bigger man. Also unlike you, I can see when I have a good thing. I'm not going to wait 4 years to seal the deal. She'll be my wife before you know it. She was always meant to be. Thank you for looking after her before she found her way back to me."

 

He's just trying to look like a good guy but he's not. A guy that's okay with dating a cheater will have no problem cheating himself. I don't want to co-parent with that.

 

You're right, the sex was bad. With me. I'm assuming it's not with him. Is arrogance that much better in bed? Or did our sex life suck because her heart was with him? Too worn out from all her great baby making sex with him?

 

 

 

He claims he's going to marry her (soon) and live happily ever after and pop out babies left and right. Maybe he will, maybe he won't. I hope not though. I hope he ends up walking away and leaving her so she knows what it's like.

 

Have you shown her his messages and asked for an explanation?

 

His responses sound like he just wants to causes trouble..but what would be your grounds for a R.O? He's not been abusive or violent with anyone.

 

I also think that the infidelity thing in the military is for married people.

 

She went about it the wrong way if she wasn't happy with you...and some women view a lack of a proposal as you not being fully in it.

 

How stable was your relationship before the baby came along? Did you have any intention of being with her for life at all..ever?

 

I just find that people seem to have no problem bringing a child into the world..when they haven't committed to each other. A child ties you together forever ..... you need to think good and proper before creating a new life.

 

Don't be thinking about revenge.... it will just eat away at you and drain you. Think about your son ..... he needs to have you in his life and to be a good dad..you need be relaxed and happy. I know it's a difficult time right now.....but some things in life are out of our control. It's tough finding out your GF is pregnant for another guy.

 

Just take it easy.

[elaine567]

YOU didn't want her, didn't like spending time with her, you were cheating on her, you refused the sex she offered you, http://www.loveshack.org/forums/romantic/marriage-life-partnerships/569189-normal-do-i-not-love-her-anymore

"The sex absolutely sucks", and you even wanted her to abort her baby.

Yet, now that she may be giving you a great excuse to get rid of her, you are suddenly so full of jealousy?????

What is that all about?

 

Your ego is bruised here, nothing less, nothing more.

Grow up, and focus on being the best Dad you can be to your child, and forget all this idiotic, posturing nonsense.

[Kinl]

She sent me this BS. I call lies on all of it.

 

Hi,

 

I probably don't need to say this but for the formality I will. We both know that we're over.

 

I am not going to meet with you to discuss anything right now. Quite frankly, your temper scares me. I do not want to deal with your jealousy induced anger. Based on my memories you have been checked out of the relationship for about 16 months. I truly believe you would have ended it a long ago if you had another option to go to.

 

You need to stop. This isn't something that can be won or lost. You do not get to harass me or [OM] because you feel like you lost. I truly believe that you wouldn't be acting like this if you had someone else first.

 

What I did was wrong, I will admit that from the rooftops. I had reasons - whether they were good or not is objective. All those hypothetical conversations were not just purely hypothetical. I was feeling things out for my exit strategy. You said a lot of scary, mean things. Like that you would spend every dime to keep our son away from me, that you'd make my life a "living hell" and you'd leave bad reviews on all review pages so clients wouldn't come to me.

 

[OP]... You said you'd ruin my life, take away my child and ruin my career. That made it very hard to plan an exit. So I overcompensated to try and hide my plans.

 

Despite what you are telling yourself I wasn't seeing him our entire relationship. I didn't have any contact with him until after [our son] was born. I purposely denied contact with him because, yes I still had feelings and they would resurface. He messaged to say congratulations and we kept talking and catching up. Then you became distant and you - and you know this - were very little help with the baby. Everything fell on me while you went out with friends and played video games. You didn't want to be a father and it was the start of the end of the relationship. [OM] was there and he was emotionally supportive.

 

I started seeing him 10 months ago. It wasn't sexual at first. How our current relationship is going to play out is not your business. I have no intention of taking our son away from you and [OM] is going to be a great father.

 

Yes I had a miscarriage, and yes it was [OM] baby. But it was when we [her and OM] were in a relationship. And we both wanted that baby even though it was unplanned. Losing it was devastating, to both of us.

 

Our son is yours, there is no doubt. The new baby is probably not. There is about a 2% chance it's yours. I will have a prenatal DNA test done just to be sure. But this baby was planned to be mine and [OM] baby. I plan to have a future with him and marry him.

 

I am prepared to settle for 50/50 custody. We can agree on a schedule that works for both of us. I am also prepared to go to court if you try and take more time.

 

We all need to be adults and parents.

[Kinl]

Have you shown her his messages and asked for an explanation?

 

His responses sound like he just wants to causes trouble..but what would be your grounds for a R.O? He's not been abusive or violent with anyone.

 

I also think that the infidelity thing in the military is for married people.

 

She went about it the wrong way if she wasn't happy with you...and some women view a lack of a proposal as you not being fully in it.

 

How stable was your relationship before the baby came along? Did you have any intention of being with her for life at all..ever?

 

I just find that people seem to have no problem bringing a child into the world..when they haven't committed to each other. A child ties you together forever ..... you need to think good and proper before creating a new life.

 

Don't be thinking about revenge.... it will just eat away at you and drain you. Think about your son ..... he needs to have you in his life and to be a good dad..you need be relaxed and happy. I know it's a difficult time right now.....but some things in life are out of our control. It's tough finding out your GF is pregnant for another guy.

 

Just take it easy.

 

I screenshots the messages but she wouldn't respond. Of course she's going to stand by him even if he's been an arrogant jackass just trying to get under my skin.

 

People get restraining orders for all kinds of reasons. I can come up with something. He's unsafe to be around my son.

 

No harm in trying to contact his superiors. Worst case they do nothing best case they do.

 

I was with her for 4 years and didn't propose. I know that's not ideal for s woman. I originally held off because I wanted the proposal to be perfect. Then our son was born and everything changed (OM came into the picture).

 

Our relationship was perfect before the baby came. After he was born it went downhill fast.

[ChickiePops]

Yes, I cheated. But she was cheating for a lot longer. All our problems probably stemed from that. I never had sex with another woman. I thought about it but wouldn't ever do it. But she had no problem doing it, neither of them did.

 

So when I did put in effort it was totally useless because she was with him anyway, trying to make babies. Instead of feeling like an ass for cheating I could have been single. My son got more and more use to us being together.

 

She was never over him. She never should have gotten into another relationship. And sure as hell shouldn't have had a baby.

 

You ARE an ass for cheating (even more so for being a serial cheater). So is she. You've both behaved terribly and extremely immaturely but her bad behavior does NOT justify yours so stop acting like the innocent victim.

 

Your son needs to be your priority right now. He will be fine if you split up. He will not be fine if you act out your silly revenge fantasies.

 

What's pissing people off here is your self righteousness, your excuses for your own bad behavior, and your threats to exact revenge on the mother of your child. That and the fact that your first thread makes no mention of her cheating, only of your own desire to walk away from a pregnant girl. It makes the cheating thing seem less plausible. Sorry..but it's true.

 

Grow up and be a good parent instead of inciting this middle school drama. Yeah it sucks if she really is cheating. But it's selfish and stupid to take revenge considering your own actions and the fact that you have a child together. Pull it together kid.

[Kinl]

You ARE an ass for cheating (even more so for being a serial cheater). So is she. You've both behaved terribly and extremely immaturely but her bad behavior does NOT justify yours so stop acting like the innocent victim.

 

Your son needs to be your priority right now. He will be fine if you split up. He will not be fine if you act out your silly revenge fantasies.

 

What's pissing people off here is your self righteousness, your excuses for your own bad behavior, and your threats to exact revenge on the mother of your child. That and the fact that your first thread makes no mention of her cheating, only of your own desire to walk away from a pregnant girl. It makes the cheating thing seem less plausible. Sorry..but it's true.

 

Grow up and be a good parent instead of inciting this middle school drama. Yeah it sucks if she really is cheating. But it's selfish and stupid to take revenge considering your own actions and the fact that you have a child together. Pull it together kid.

 

If she wouldn't have cheated I wouldn't have done what I did. She wouldn't have changed, that's what started this.

 

Her being pregnant made me suspect the cheating. And writing it all out made me suspect it more. That thread made me look deeper. To add, she admitted that she cheated.

 

Why does she get to walk away, be happy, and start a family with another man (with my son)? I'm not walking away like a dog with his tail between his legs.

[lolablue17]

OP!

 

You are very upset now, extremely upset. You are very hurt and I think that although you feel the need to do things, I strongly advice you: If you can't relax, at least don't do anything. Go to a lawyer, and do everything he tells you.

 

I almost sure that some of his advice will go against your ego. It will be very hard for you to fulfill his advices, but you must. Don't do anything. Use the time you have to check out mentally from your toxic marriage.

 

I know it's easy to say it from the side, but use other people's logic and listen to them. Don't look for revenge now. Your mission is to be the most passive, cold, logical person you can be. If you must think about revenge, remember that the best revenge is when it is served cold. Later you will have as much time as you want to revenge. Not now.

 

Don't talk to her, only domestic stuff about your son, or your up coming divorce. Don't blame her, don't talk about her cheating, don't confront her, just don't. I'm telling you - don't trust your own judgement right now, because you're so upset.

 

If you continue with your way as i read you, you're gonna be very sorry, because you are damaging yourself.

Edited February 14, 2016 by lolablue17

[Chi townD]

I agree with Lolablue. You are in no position or mindset to make decisions. Therefore, you need to get a lawyer to help make those decisions for you.

 

 

I strongly recommend that you get a DNA done on your son just to be sure and when it's confirmed and it is your son, then you need to have an order served to her that does not allow her to take him out of the providence.

 

 

And stop contacting the OM. Why? He didn't give a sh*t about your relationship, what makes you think that he gives a sh*t about what you have to say. Oh, and get ready to have accusations thrown your way that your are extremely mentally abusive, that you're physically abusive and that she's scared of you. Don't agree to that crap at all! Unless there's police reports for a domestic to your house, then you're not. See, she might try to use that in court so she can get full custody of your son and then she can take him wherever the hell she wants and you have no say in the matter. And believe me, she wants to move up there to the OM. So, you HAVE to get that injunction in place that she can't take him away from you. Have your lawyer do all of the talking from this point on. This is about you and your son. DO NOT RESPOND TO ANYTHING SHE THROWS AT YOU!

 

 

And if people ask you, just be honest, you're not together because she cheated on me and is having another mans baby. But, get ready to be demonized by her. She's going to paint you in a very poor light. Don't respond. Because actions speak louder than words. Meaning, that it's her belly that's getting bigger, not yours. So, who are people going to believe?

[TX-SC]

Okay, so it's over. You already new that. Now man-up, be a good parent and leave the ex to her new (old!) fling. You need to get to a place where you really don't care what she does. Go out with some women and find a new mate. But use this relationship experience to learn how to treat your gf or wife in the future.

[R.Gant]

Why does she get to walk away, be happy, and start a family with another man (with my son)? I'm not walking away like a dog with his tail between his legs.

 

Hold your horses brother, I suggest you get some counseling done.

 

Dont do anything, separate yourself! Dont seek Revenge clear your mind.

 

Does your states have infidelity laws? (But going through that it will cause alot more problems.)

I Suggest an amicable divorce and 50/50 custody.

 

Take 50/50 custody its the best what the court can offer a "Man/Husband".

 

~

I say play the game,

since she was the one willing to separate.

-convince her to offer you more property.

-convince her to a 60/40 custody your way if possible.

 

Your bargaining chip would be:

Divorce due to Infidelity "since she is pregnant with the OM child." you can easily prove it through DNA testing.

you can possibly conceive another mans child without infidelity.

 

You need to Strategic and Calculating continue to talk with your attorney's

[R.Gant]

YOU didn't want her, didn't like spending time with her, you were cheating on her, you refused the sex she offered you, http://www.loveshack.org/forums/romantic/marriage-life-partnerships/569189-normal-do-i-not-love-her-anymore

"The sex absolutely sucks", and you even wanted her to abort her baby.

Yet, now that she may be giving you a great excuse to get rid of her, you are suddenly so full of jealousy?????

What is that all about?

 

Your ego is bruised here, nothing less, nothing more.

Grow up, and focus on being the best Dad you can be to your child, and forget all this idiotic, posturing nonsense.

 

At the beginning with all the information provided you could have started off with the clear fact that the WW was "distancing herself".

 

"distancing herself" caused problems in the relationship. this clearly led to failure in communication.

 

since this is Not a "New Guy" but and "Old Fling" WW was clearly still in touch with this Former Lover and had not gotten over OM.

 

And from the message above this situation seems to be true.

 

And now she seeing a different point of view of her BH.

finding every tiny mistake their is to find.

This is symptomatic of every WW for "defense mechanism and to justify their actions and sate their sanity."

[Kinl]

And believe me, she wants to move up there to the OM. So, you HAVE to get that injunction in place that she can't take him away from you. Have your lawyer do all of the talking from this point on. This is about you and your son. DO NOT RESPOND TO ANYTHING SHE THROWS AT YOU!

 

And if people ask you, just be honest, you're not together because she cheated on me and is having another mans baby. But, get ready to be demonized by her. She's going to paint you in a very poor light. Don't respond. Because actions speak louder than words. Meaning, that it's her belly that's getting bigger, not yours. So, who are people going to believe?

 

You're right. She said she "has no intention of taking my son away" but also said she's going to marry him. She's going to marry him but live 4.5 hours away? Sure. And I don't think its that easy for him to just leave the military. We have a base 30 minutes from here but it's not for armoured soldiers.

 

I've told my family and they all think very poorly of her now, even though they use to love her. She doesn't have family so mine was like her family. If I remember correctly the OM's parents hated her because she wasn't Portuguese.

 

It's going to look bad for her, being pregnant. She can't marry OM right away or that will look bad too.

 

But use this relationship experience to learn how to treat your gf or wife in the future.

 

So I drove her to cheat?

[Kinl]

Hold your horses brother, I suggest you get some counseling done.

 

Dont do anything, separate yourself! Dont seek Revenge clear your mind.

 

Does your states have infidelity laws? (But going through that it will cause alot more problems.)

I Suggest an amicable divorce and 50/50 custody.

 

Take 50/50 custody its the best what the court can offer a "Man/Husband".

 

~

I say play the game,

since she was the one willing to separate.

-convince her to offer you more property.

-convince her to a 60/40 custody your way if possible.

 

Your bargaining chip would be:

Divorce due to Infidelity "since she is pregnant with the OM child." you can easily prove it through DNA testing.

you can possibly conceive another mans child without infidelity.

 

You need to Strategic and Calculating continue to talk with your attorney's

 

I'm in Canada. We're common-law but not married. The only thing that can be claimed is spousal support. It can only be ordered if one person makes more money and the other needs more money to live comfortably. I make more than her but I doubt I'd have to pay anything.

[ShatteredLady]

I know that this is a hit to your ego but...

 

You already have another woman that you're having an affair with. That can come into the open!

 

You desperately wanted her to abort the baby. It's probably not yours. That's good isn't it?

 

You've been rejecting her sexually (sometimes 3 times a day!) & emotionally. You won't have the hassle & awkwardness of that anymore.

 

She's terrible in bed. You can't stand being physical with her. You don't have to throw her scraps anymore.

 

Is this REALLY such a bad thing? It seems like you're getting what you want without looking like the bad guy.

 

If you seek revenge & destroy her career YOU will have to pay more!!

 

If you seek to destroy his career & delay their marriage you will probably have to pay more!!

 

Isn't it best to let them go & live their life. You don't want her!! You came here because you didn't want her & you wanted her to kill what you thought was your baby. It hurts because she was also planning her escape. You don't want her but you don't want anyone else to have her.

 

Complete strangers have told you that they're afraid of your temper. It's no surprise that she feels the same way!

 

This looks like 2 people who made a huge mistake getting together & having a child. You BOTH behaved appallingly. If you had BOTH been honest & admitted that you don't even like eachother, let alone want to be a family & just got divorced it would of been better.

 

This is a horrible way of going about it but you're BOTH getting what you want! You're getting rid of the baby (statistically) & you're getting rid of a woman who repulsed you. Other than ego what's the problem?

[Kinl]

I know that this is a hit to your ego but...

 

You already have another woman that you're having an affair with. That can come into the open!

 

You desperately wanted her to abort the baby. It's probably not yours. That's good isn't it?

 

You've been rejecting her sexually (sometimes 3 times a day!) & emotionally. You won't have the hassle & awkwardness of that anymore.

 

She's terrible in bed. You can't stand being physical with her. You don't have to throw her scraps anymore.

 

Is this REALLY such a bad thing? It seems like you're getting what you want without looking like the bad guy.

 

If you seek revenge & destroy her career YOU will have to pay more!!

 

If you seek to destroy his career & delay their marriage you will probably have to pay more!!

 

Isn't it best to let them go & live their life. You don't want her!! You came here because you didn't want her & you wanted her to kill what you thought was your baby. It hurts because she was also planning her escape. You don't want her but you don't want anyone else to have her.

 

Complete strangers have told you that they're afraid of your temper. It's no surprise that she feels the same way!

 

This looks like 2 people who made a huge mistake getting together & having a child. You BOTH behaved appallingly. If you had BOTH been honest & admitted that you don't even like eachother, let alone want to be a family & just got divorced it would of been better.

 

This is a horrible way of going about it but you're BOTH getting what you want! You're getting rid of the baby (statistically) & you're getting rid of a woman who repulsed you. Other than ego what's the problem?

 

You know what, you're right.

 

She's pregnant by another man but at least it's not mine. I don't have to deal with her puking every 15 minutes or being on bed rest or all the other problems and complication she had last time - and is already starting to have this time. It's not me holding back her hair in my puke smelling house and bringing her crackers. It won't be anybody, she'll be suffering alone.

 

Me and that woman agreed we wouldn't go farther but A) that was before all this and B) there are other women out there. I've never had a problem getting a hookup.

 

She is absolutely terrible in bed. She was fine before the baby but just fine. Still wasn't great and I've had much better lays. It's not my problem anymore. Her new stbh can deal with it. Either he loves banging statues or will be miserable. I can go back to having good sex.

 

To friends and family, I don't look like the bad guy. No ones knows about my cheating. All they know is that she's pregnant by another man. She looks horrible and friends and family have said some pretty bad things about her.

 

We aren't married, thankfully. So I don't have to pay anything. But they could sue if I wrote wrongful info about her. She could end up getting alimony if she proved financial need. And if I ruined his career he'd be able to move here to be with her. As long as he's a armoured soldier he'd can't move any closer. With any luck he'll be sent somewhere out deployed - which can cause a whole slew of things.

 

You don't want her but you don't want anyone else to have her. This is true. I don't know why but it is.

 

I have never laid a hand on her. Her fears are BS.

[ChickiePops]

If she wouldn't have cheated I wouldn't have done what I did. She wouldn't have changed, that's what started this.

 

Her being pregnant made me suspect the cheating. And writing it all out made me suspect it more. That thread made me look deeper. To add, she admitted that she cheated.

 

Why does she get to walk away, be happy, and start a family with another man (with my son)? I'm not walking away like a dog with his tail between his legs.

 

So you're willing to risk ruining your sons life to get some petty, selfish, extremely childish revenge on your ex instead of being an adult and walking away with your head held high? You realize that you're also jeopardizing your own relationship with him correct? Clearly none of that matters to you. You obviously could not care less about your poor, innocent little boy.

 

Also, you are still a cheater and a liar too. You are just as bad as she is.

 

I do agree with you on one thing..neither of you was ready to have children when you had your son and she certainly is not ready for number two.

[elaine567]

If she wouldn't have cheated I wouldn't have done what I did. She wouldn't have changed, that's what started this.

 

Her being pregnant made me suspect the cheating. And writing it all out made me suspect it more. That thread made me look deeper. To add, she admitted that she cheated.

 

Why does she get to walk away, be happy, and start a family with another man (with my son)? I'm not walking away like a dog with his tail between his legs.

 

OK, but you were cheating on her long before she was pregnant and thus long before you suspected she was cheating... So stop the victim act.

This didn't work, you cheated and she cheated, the best thing to come of this is for you to be sensible and work out something between you, so that your son has a nice life.

Being thrown about between warring parents will be no fun for him and will affect him for life, do you really want that for him?

[Chi townD]

Okay dude, you need to ignore the hater's that are painting you as a monster. Did you do some bad things? Yeah, you did and I don't have a lot of respect for that. But, at least you were man enough to confess it to us to give us the full picture. And you owned up to the fact that you know what you did was wrong.

 

 

So, I'm not going to focus on what you did wrong and completely gloss over the fact that she's had two pregnancies from this other guy. One failed pregnancy and one successful. That's she's been cheating on you for a hell of a LONG TIME. Even longer than your indiscretions.

 

 

But, I will agree and say that you two are terrible for each other. So, I will just say that you just need to focus on you and your son. I would still get a DNA on him just to make sure that he is yours. She can tell you that he's yours until the cows come home. But, after everything that's happened, do you really think that you should be trusting a word that she says? She's told you that she would never take him away from you. But, once she discovers this asshat can't transfer down, she'll do everything she can to get up to him (especially when people discover she's carrying another man's kid, she'll want to get out of Dodge for a while and let the dust settle). So, can you trust her to keep her word about not taking him away from you?

 

 

Dude, talk to a lawyer. You have rights as a father. Don't let her dictate what those rights are. And also talk to a lawyer about this "common law" crap. If she's been cheating on you for some time and you can prove that she's been cheating. Then, you may not qualify as "common law" if this has been going on for months and months. Common law may have stopped the moment she started getting involved with this other dude. So, I think the only thing you're going to be responsible for is child support. But, talk to a lawyer

Edited February 15, 2016 by Chi townD

[Ladyjane14]

Dude, you dodged a bullet. You're still a young guy. Get with your attorney, make sure you have at least 50/50 and that she can't move your child out of your town/province without a court order. Get a gym subscription and work off some of that emotional energy. And be THANKFUL that someone else is taking that cheater off your hands. Right now, you feel like the OM is "winning". But look at what he's "won"... a woman who would sneak around behind your back for 16 months. He'll always know in his heart of hearts that she's capable of that.

 

Be a great dad... meet some women in REAL LIFE and not on the internet. At some point, you'll meet an honest woman and find yourself feeling a little sorry for the poor bastard, smug as he might sound today.

 

Living well is THE BEST revenge. Stop worrying about what they're doing and start planning a brighter future for you and your son.

[AaronG]

I was in a similar boat 4 years ago when my wife cheated with her ex. And I was in a similar boat 5 months ago in loveshack.org when people here made me out to be a villain because I had fallen out of love with my then wife and with someone else.

 

Double standards run rampant when it comes to men.

 

But I have to agree with most people here who says that you need to let go of her. No amount of trying to hurt her will not bring her back (if thats what you want). She has made up her mind. Let her go. Revenge is now a fool's errand. The best thing now you can do is make sure that she can't take away your son. This is crucial. Why?

 

Let me get back to what the POSOG said to you "Get used to me. I'm not going anywhere". Turn this around. Show him that you are not going anywhere when it comes to your son. Fight tooth and nail for custody. Direct every resource you have towards that fight. Be in their face. Always be there for your son. Let him know that you are not dead and as long as you are there, you are your son's father. Not that bastard.

 

Think about it. This guy wanted your life. He contacted your gf when you had a baby with her. What should have been the most joyous time of your life, he poisoned it. Sadly, he may have been able to take you GF but don't let him take your son. If you let him do that then his victory will be complete. Your son will never know who his real father is. YOUR OWN SON.

 

Please! Please! Don't let him take him away from you.

 

And when you have your son be the best father you can be. Make it his most enjoyable days with you that he will always early await the next time he comes to you. Pamper him. Spoil him. Afterall he is your own flesh and blood.

 

INFACT START THIS NOW.

 

Best of luck.

[Mrs. John Adams]

There is no double standard.

 

A cheater is a cheater...male or female

 

When the op started his other thread...the focus was on him...his cheating. As more details have been revealed about his girlfriend...most members have shifted more sympathy toward him...however...there is plenty of blame in this relationship to go around.

 

Many bad choices have been made by both involved. You cannot point a finger at just one....

 

This relationship is toxic....and the big losers are the babies. I understand revenge....I understand anger...

 

But I would like to see op focus on the babies...if they are indeed his (and i totally understand questioning paternity at this point)....I would like to see the op think more about his future instead of concentrating on the past...which he cannot change.

 

Concentrate on being the best you can be...plan your exit...one that will be the least painful for your kids and is best for you emotionally and financially. Get help...lawyer, therapists, family, friends. Don't be afraid to ask for help and support.

 

Hatred, negativity, revenge, anger.....only causes more pain.