We broke up, but we still hang out? [update 2016-07-13]

[jen1447]

Are you unlisted? If not it's easy enough.

 

Most likely sth's up w them - either they broke it off too or she suspects he's got another, and possibly back to you. Wouldn't be the first time an OW thought her AP was 'cheating' on them w their spouse/partner.

 

Cheaters gonna cheat so that's what she signed on for.

[SincereOnlineGuy]

It sounds like absolutely nothing.

 

 

IF she was checking-up on HIM... (making sure he wasn't THERE)... then that doesn't concern you directly.

 

 

And she could have garnered your address through voter registration records or other internet sources.

 

 

Wait until you have a scenario where she has directly and intentionally encountered "YOU" before giving it a second thought.

[Kkristine]

It sounds like absolutely nothing.

 

 

IF she was checking-up on HIM... (making sure he wasn't THERE)... then that doesn't concern you directly.

 

 

And she could have garnered your address through voter registration records or other internet sources.

 

 

Wait until you have a scenario where she has directly and intentionally encountered "YOU" before giving it a second thought.

 

Yes, I'm thinking it's more about her stalking him than stalking me. So, that makes me feel a little bit better. I didn't do anything to her anyways.

[Zahara]

Seems like she's checking up on him. Just ignore it. Thank your lucky stars you're not the one driving around checking on him wondering if he's cheating.

[NTV]

Seems like she's checking up on him. Just ignore it. Thank your lucky stars you're not the one driving around checking on him wondering if he's cheating.

 

Same thing I thought.

[Sunkissedpatio]

Ooooh I do love me a good "karma doing its thing" kind'a story!

 

Affair lovers riding off into the sunset tend to miss the patch of ominous grey clouds that hover beyond the blinding sun. The thunder is definitely coming, sounds like you are lucky enough to witness it.

[Giggles666]

LOL the drama, you lucked out in hindsight. Good for you.

[mizunomead]

I was married 12yrs, my wife cheated repeated then ,eat me for another man. It took about 9 months till I truly started to feel normal again. When I basically got to indifference so to speak. It took till about a yr out before I started dating again.

[underpants]

If only he would’ve broken up with me a long time ago when he wasn’t feeling it, maybe he would’ve saved me some grief. But, he had to wait until someone else was lined up. That’s what hurts the most.

 

This is bargaining. The truth is that it sucks to get dumped. It just does and it doesn't matter. It hurts when you are on the receiving end of it. People bargain with themselves that if only ...insert the lens of their pain. No one should try to qualify for the pain Olympics. It sucks to be hurt by someone you thought cared for you. If you remove yourself from the source it will heal. It takes time, but it will heal.

 

A. Some who have just been dumped because they want to be alone (don't want the relationship with that person any longer), wish there was someone else to blame it on, because now they must self reflect alone. They want an external reason. See B.

 

B. Some who have been left 'for someone else' wish their former partner would have broken up the 'honorable' way. What would that really, really look like for someone on the receiving end of a dump? A?

 

I'm older and have been dumped in all kinds of glorious fashions. I give as good as I get. Personally I think ghosting is sort of the worst, but that is my opinion.

 

One day at a time Kristine, and while we are waiting...lets think of creative and fun ways to reject this person when he breaks no contact.

 

I'm a big fan of rubber snakes.

 

Brainstorm.

[underpants]

I do blame myself in a lot of ways because I went through depression when we lived together, and I really pushed him away. I don’t blame him for what he did, and I hate feeling like that. I try to put myself in his shoes, and I wouldn’t want to be with someone who can’t even kiss me either. “If only, if only, if only, I was good to him. We would still be together. ” (I keep repeating to myself.)

 

I also try to tell myself that if I was truly happy with him, I wouldn't have let myself go with him like I did. I had no strive in life and was very selfish, so not me. I never dressed up, never cared to impress him. I absolutely leaned on him as a parent for like the last year of our relationship, and miss the co-dependency more than anything. To be honest, I just miss having that "best friend."

 

 

Just curious, were you like this before this relationship? Sometimes being with the wrong person (a toxic dynamic, even if you don't realize it) can throw a person into a depression or a mania of 'fixing' someone else.

 

As unfortunate as it is to get hurt, far better to be away. Even more better to eventually be kind lesson of 'NO' in their life should they want another go, and he will.

[William]

Folks, let's refrain from promoting or discussing business concerns on this, or any, LoveShack.org forum. Our owner wishes to not help other people sell their wares. Instead, let's get back to recovering from the effects of infidelity and specifically the issues raised by the thread starter. Thanks!

[Kkristine]

We broke up exactly one month ago. We went through a rough patch, and he became distant for weeks before he finally broke up with me. I found out two days later he had been cheating on me, has no feelings for me anymore, and is currently seeing this woman.

 

I'm 26. We were together for a very long time, and this is my first break-up.

 

I am so emotional all the time. I've been keeping busy with friends, seeing a therapist, and exercising, but it hasn't been helping much.

 

My self-esteem is at an all-time low. I can't stop comparing myself to this woman.

 

I wake up every morning with an intense crying session. I normally feel better by the end of the day, but the process always starts over the next day.

 

I think what hurts me the most is not necessarily the cheating, but being told that I am no longer loved. He always worshipped the ground I walked on, and I never in a million years thought he would do this to me. I trusted him more than my own family. He was my best friend.

 

I keep getting false hope that he will come back to me one day, but I can't picture myself ever being intimate with him again after what he did.

 

I've read threads about people not being able to move on years after their breakup, and this terrifies me!

 

What can I do?

[Msann]

:-( I'm sorry. I know how much it hurts. I also know how breakups can control our choices and actions sometime. Coming from experience, it sounds like you miss the relationship and not entirely "him" because he is no longer the person you knew. I know it doesn't feel like it right now, but there WILL be a time that you meet someone and it will start to slowly feel better. It's all with time which feels like the biggest enemy. You're only here once, so make the most of it and don't give him anything more than what he's already taken from you.

[Kkristine]

Just curious, were you like this before this relationship? Sometimes being with the wrong person (a toxic dynamic, even if you don't realize it) can throw a person into a depression or a mania of 'fixing' someone else.

 

As unfortunate as it is to get hurt, far better to be away. Even more better to eventually be kind lesson of 'NO' in their life should they want another go, and he will.

 

I've had bouts of this, yes. Right before we started dating though, I was at an all-time high in my life. I lost a bunch of weight, was almost finished with college, and was very independent.