Crab Mentality

[Tayla]

Thought this article worthy of read and if wishing to discuss, feel free.

 

https://www.intellihub.com/crab-mentality-in-human-beings/

 

( PLaced in self improvement...cause its an improvement on outlook/perception.)

[Buddhist]

Meh, It's a mentality I've witnessed in others and is why I'm basically a recluse. Conventional wisdom is that communities are wonderful blah, blah, blah. This article just highlights the dark side of community and why I don't see them as the be all and end all. You can personally be the most positive person in the world but if the others around you aren't, it won't be long before they target you until you're as miserable as they are. It's an inconvenient truth of society unfortunately.

[truthtripper]

In Australia we use the phrase 'tall poppy syndrome'(perhaps it's also used in other countries, not sure). I'm guessing it has primitive origins ie.competition between animals over territory and food, males fighting over females etc. but now, thanks to human consciousness, this behaviour is used maliciously, for deliberate, selfish reasons, rather than for functional evolutionary purposes as it(similar behaviours)is in other animals.

Edited February 13, 2016 by truthtripper

[Tayla]

Thanks for taking the time to read the article.

 

Guess I interpretted differently and not nearly to the point of modifying it.

 

Unsure where it speaks about communities. Particularly in a shadow way.

 

Perhaps I saw it from a social stance .

[jay1983]

[Timshel]

Tayla, what has always bothered me about psychology (lol) is that every explanation of human behavior is qualified/quantitative.

 

There is only what is more or less true or commonly experienced by our own flawed perception which auto skews any particular/supposed result.

 

In my day to day life I won't hesitate to say that sheeples (crabs) abound and that yes, it's fairly disturbing.

 

It's my opinion that we are evolving just as every other organism on earth.

 

Some have insight enough to let others be and climb out of the bucket....or even more so, to reach back and help another out. It's rare but it does happen.

[MuddyFootprints]

Lobster Bucket - The Aquabats

 

[truthtripper]

Some have insight enough to let others be and climb out of the bucket....or even more so, to reach back and help another out. It's rare but it does happen.

I was once stuck in the bucket with my dysfunctional family. After suffering a nervous breakdown fifteen years ago, I realised I had no choice but to confront them and speak the truth. But it came with a price. I am now ridiculed, belittled, bullied and scapegoated by my family. This is what keeps people in the bucket. No one wants to end up alone and lonely.

 

I have tried with blood, sweat and tears, to 'save' my mother, but the power of her family and their denial is too strong. We have to be careful when trying to pull others out, as their resistance can cause us further anxiety, isolation and feelings of powerlessness. Despite the hurt she has caused me, I don't want to lose contact with her, she is the only family I have left. So this means maintaining diplomacy and unfortunately, accepting the reality that she will take denial with her to the grave.

Edited February 15, 2016 by truthtripper

[Tayla]

I was once stuck in the bucket with my dysfunctional family. After suffering a nervous breakdown fifteen years ago, I realised I had no choice but to confront them and speak the truth. But it came with a price. I am now ridiculed, belittled, bullied and scapegoated by my family. This is what keeps people in the bucket. No one wants to end up alone and lonely.

 

I have tried with blood, sweat and tears, to 'save' my mother, but the power of her family and their denial is too strong. We have to be careful when trying to pull others out, as their resistance can cause us further anxiety, isolation and feelings of powerlessness. Despite the hurt she has caused me, I don't want to lose contact with her, she is the only family I have left. So this means maintaining diplomacy and unfortunately, accepting the reality that she will take denial with her to the grave.

 

TruthTripper, You helped me on a medical ailment a few months back. That too me shows a person willing to help another being. You have a good heart.

I had a relative that had been abusive, and I had forgiven her long before she came back into my life to ask forgiveness. I get where it seems that others can't or will not change, yet that door needs to remain opened, even if ever so slightly. Thank goodness we cannot know the future sometimes...Otherwise when those persons do come back to make amends, we are already in a place to accept it. My hope is that your family Turns this around, atones and smooths out the hurt.

 

I do not beleive in keeping down the masses, Yet it does prevail in this country, where Number 1 is everything.

[Aniela]

I have no interest in knocking people over so that I can "win" something. It doesn't sound like you win anything at all, that way.

[Timshel]

I was once stuck in the bucket with my dysfunctional family. After suffering a nervous breakdown fifteen years ago, I realised I had no choice but to confront them and speak the truth. But it came with a price. I am now ridiculed, belittled, bullied and scapegoated by my family. This is what keeps people in the bucket. No one wants to end up alone and lonely.

 

I have tried with blood, sweat and tears, to 'save' my mother, but the power of her family and their denial is too strong. We have to be careful when trying to pull others out, as their resistance can cause us further anxiety, isolation and feelings of powerlessness. Despite the hurt she has caused me, I don't want to lose contact with her, she is the only family I have left. So this means maintaining diplomacy and unfortunately, accepting the reality that she will take denial with her to the grave.

 

The dynamic of scapegoating is like quick sand, the more a scapegoat struggles against it....the deeper they sink.

 

Diplomacy is fine, unless as OP has pointed out, it serves to pull you back. A person must decide when to let go and when to reach back. It is best to do so only when you are able to determine which is best.....reach back if you are strong enough to do so TruthTripper. No one will benefit from your reaching back only to sink.

[truthtripper]

TruthTripper, You helped me on a medical ailment a few months back. That too me shows a person willing to help another being. You have a good heart.

I had a relative that had been abusive, and I had forgiven her long before she came back into my life to ask forgiveness. I get where it seems that others can't or will not change, yet that door needs to remain opened, even if ever so slightly. Thank goodness we cannot know the future sometimes...Otherwise when those persons do come back to make amends, we are already in a place to accept it. My hope is that your family Turns this around, atones and smooths out the hurt.

 

I do not beleive in keeping down the masses, Yet it does prevail in this country, where Number 1 is everything.

Thanks Tayla, I'm glad you're feeling better and hope you keep up the feldenkrais! It has benefitted me tremendously. Actually it's relevant to the topic of crab mentality-finding ourselves within our highly influential, often controlling, manipulative society.

 

Thanks for your encouragement to keep the door opened. It requires a lot of mental strength, but I know it's all about compassion.

Edited February 18, 2016 by truthtripper

[truthtripper]

The dynamic of scapegoating is like quick sand, the more a scapegoat struggles against it....the deeper they sink.

 

Diplomacy is fine, unless as OP has pointed out, it serves to pull you back. A person must decide when to let go and when to reach back. It is best to do so only when you are able to determine which is best.....reach back if you are strong enough to do so TruthTripper. No one will benefit from your reaching back only to sink.

Yes, true, only reach back if you are strong. It takes a lot of work on oneself first, before being able to do this.