"whats your opinion is this right"? Is this wrong?

[lilmoma1973]

Hey all,

i have a ? my h is in a band and practices two nights a week.. The ? i have he goes at 7:30 or 8 and comes rolling up in the house at 12 1 and if i say anything he gets pissed off.. i think he should come home at a decent time a couple of hrs should be all he needs.. I tell him all the time i wish he would give half the effort in this relationship like he does with the band things would be better.. I FEEL HE CARES MORE FOR THE BAND THEN HIS WIFE AND DAUGHTER!! WHAT DO YOU THINK? He says he not doing anything wrong but it is so hard to trust he has cheated before not in 7 yrs.. PLEASE GIVE ME SOME INPUT ON WHAT YOU THINK!!

[seagirl]

Personally, I think that staying out that late for band practice is not unreasonable at all. If this is a dream of his then you should help him pursue it even it is only by being supportive. Have you ever asked him if you can go by and watch him for a little while? Maybe that would make you feel more comfortable about the situation.

[lilmoma1973]

hey seagirl,

thanks for your reply .. you think that is ok to stay out that late and has to go to work the next day.. how would it look if i stayed out that late.. i think if you are out too late you end up getting into trouble.. he has asked me to come but i will not support him in this band he doesn't want me at his shows .. he don't mind practice but gigs no!! i will not support him if he will not have me at his shows why should i!!

[seagirl]

Has he ever given you a reason for not wanting you at the gigs? That does seem a little odd to me too. If he IS having trouble getting up in the morning then it could be a problem, is there a reason he can't start practice earlier so he can get home sooner? Or maybe you are more concerned with why he doesn't want you at the performances, I would have a real problem with that myself.

[lilmoma1973]

hey seagirl,

thanks for the reply.. my h says im negative and closedminded and that i will be complaining.. that isn't so i never complained except wheni was preggo and needed to eat lol .. haven't been since our daughter has been born and she is 5 now.. i think that he is afraid i might get too much attention .. not ugly lady.. not being consedaded..