le_20 Posted February 13, 2016 Share Posted February 13, 2016 I once started this thread about he started pulling away since he arrived in Guam with his mum. http://www.loveshack.org/forums/romantic/long-distance-relationships/564620-he-starts-pulling-away-should-i-ask-him-about-our-trip-plan he has been acting weird more than a month,no message,only reply or chat when i initiate the contact. Our last conversation is 2 weeks ago,after that only few messages. I did ask him whats happening in Jan but he replied like usual,funny and light. Now he is still having his vacation with his mum, and i told him my spring holiday as i wasnt sure back then. After 3 days i told him my schedule,he asked me when do I want to fly to his country and how long i prefer to stay. He will offer me air ticket and I'll stay at his place,just like last time i visited him.He will also fly back to his country as soon as he bought me air ticket. I still love him,but am not sure if i should go,as he online many times a day yet send me no message. There would be lots of possibilities,such as he is trying to figure out,new girl,he just want to take a break ...etc. If he isnt interested anymore,i wont waste my time,fly 14 hours to his country. He used to tell me his thought/decision and reasons,but this time,he is kinda like HIDING !!! Link to post Share on other sites
Sunny85 Posted February 13, 2016 Share Posted February 13, 2016 I think he just wants to see you, instead of online contact. It depends on how much effort you have to do to see him and how much you want this relationship. The point is you never know for sure if he is seeing someone else or not. You can either wait and let him talk to you online to do more effort to speak to you and maintain contact or go see him and see how he behaves around you. He can't hide when you ar with him. Do you skype? maybe this is an option before you go. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted February 13, 2016 Share Posted February 13, 2016 Access to computers & good cell signal can be hard to come by on vacation / holiday. That probably is part of why you aren't getting as much contact. If he's offering to buy you an expensive plane ticket I suspect he's still interested. What part of that gesture gives you pause? Link to post Share on other sites
coolheadal Posted February 13, 2016 Share Posted February 13, 2016 Why not just live with him you both love each other he has the money to buy you tickets so why not act upon his offers? Unless his mom is in his life too much and you can't cope with her being around? These situations get so complex you have to figure out if you want to continue like you are with him or just drop him and move on? He wants you but you are the one that is confused!. I say your not ready for a full-time commitment with him he sounds like he is but still fishing online to see who bits or doesn't? He also got you as a backup in case he doesn't reeling in any new catches for day online. Link to post Share on other sites
Author le_20 Posted February 15, 2016 Author Share Posted February 15, 2016 (edited) I think he just wants to see you, instead of online contact. It depends on how much effort you have to do to see him and how much you want this relationship. The point is you never know for sure if he is seeing someone else or not. You can either wait and let him talk to you online to do more effort to speak to you and maintain contact or go see him and see how he behaves around you. He can't hide when you ar with him. Do you skype? maybe this is an option before you go. Access to computers & good cell signal can be hard to come by on vacation / holiday. That probably is part of why you aren't getting as much contact. If he's offering to buy you an expensive plane ticket I suspect he's still interested. What part of that gesture gives you pause? Why not just live with him you both love each other he has the money to buy you tickets so why not act upon his offers? Unless his mom is in his life too much and you can't cope with her being around? These situations get so complex you have to figure out if you want to continue like you are with him or just drop him and move on? He wants you but you are the one that is confused!. I say your not ready for a full-time commitment with him he sounds like he is but still fishing online to see who bits or doesn't? He also got you as a backup in case he doesn't reeling in any new catches for day online. we broke up yesterday. can you imagine that? 3 days ago he asked me when i prefer to go,after replied to him,2 days later he sent me a simple breakup sugar-coated message said he prefer to be alone and look forward to my career,asked me to focus on my stuff. after 1 day,I said that i trusted him very much(in fact,i did invest a lot of my feelings and time) ,i felt he is playing with my emotion and i hope he can be honest with me. He then replied that he just lost interest,that was why he didnt contact me since he arrived in Guam with his mum 1.5 months ago and was hot and cold. He even said whole life waiting ahead of me. I wished him live a happier life there and bye bye. He replied keep in touch. I had been through a lot to be together with him(before dating,he even chose his ex over me and they broke up after 2 months),I never changed my mind/my feelings,but so far,it seems he just didnt invest that much to keep the long distance strong,sometimes he was so sure but sometimes he just thought its impossible. Im dissapointed and im done. Edited February 15, 2016 by le_20 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted February 15, 2016 Share Posted February 15, 2016 I'm sorry that happened. The silver lining in all of this is that your instincts are on target. You knew something was wrong. Lick your wounds & then find somebody more local to date. The hassles of an LDR are a bear. Link to post Share on other sites
justwhoiam Posted February 20, 2016 Share Posted February 20, 2016 he even chose his ex over me and they broke up after 2 months You had a clear red flag there. Link to post Share on other sites
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