damndd Posted June 10, 2005 Share Posted June 10, 2005 Have you ever been in love with someone so much that every time you think about that person who is no longer part of your life you cry? Do you ever picture what that day will be like when you see them again? How you will look, what you will say, or even better yet, act like your life is better now than ever before? Then when you have everything set in your mind, you tend to dwell on it longer than you need too… It becomes almost an obsession. Everyday you wake up and you make sure you look your best, you put on that fake smile and hope that the people you talk too who know the person, will inform them that they saw you. But, you know what happens, no one tells the other person anything, you wait months seeing if he’ll ever contact you, but there is never a phone call. So, you go drinking with your girlfriend and you start thinking about that person, you start feeling the hurt again, and guess what comes next….the drunken x-girlfriend phone call. The worst thing you could ever do. But, it gets better!!! You demand to see them, you put them on the spot, and within minutes you are driving across town to make a complete ass out of your self. Now, remember you have been waiting for this minute to be perfect. You wanted to look your best, and act like your life is wonderful. You’ve only been planning in your mind for the last three months….well now your plans are shot out the window. You don’t look your best, your drunk, and you are highly emotional. Way to go!!! So, now everything is not the way you planned, and you don’t even think about the consequences of what you are doing. All that matters is that you are going to see him. You don’t even know what you’re going to say. Well, the time is now here and you see him. He looks great. Your heart is thumping so loud, you know the eighty year old man in the corner having coffee can hear it. Then, it hits you like a ton of bricks….. He looks at you like you’re a mess. The look he had for you is now gone. You can feel that he doesn’t want to be there with you. You start casual conversation, but know that there is nothing casual about this. And then in one split moment everything you never wanted to hear comes out of his mouth…. I DON’T LOVE YOU, DON’T THINK I EVER DID. NO, I DON’T THINK ABOUT YOU, AND NO, I DON’T MISS YOU. You would think by now being told this, I would have just left….nope, I dug myself a bigger whole. I said…. I STILL LOVE YOU, AND I NOT A DAY GOES BY THAT I DON’T THIK ABOUT YOU. YOU WERE MY BEST FRIEND, AND I MISS YOU. I WAS DAMND WHEN YOU WERE A PART OF MY LIFE, AND I’M DAMND NOW THAT YOUR NOT….. What happens next, you ask? Simple he gets up and leaves you and all you are stuck with is your heart broken in two, and your self worth crushed to the ground…. Isn’t love grand? Link to post Share on other sites
NTB Posted June 10, 2005 Share Posted June 10, 2005 went a little over board there didn't we..........well all you can do now is learn from this and except that the relationship is over. pick yourself up clean those shoulders off and start the healing process........... a break up sucks big time but what can you do it is a part of life.........just start doing stuff for you and not for the next time you will run into him or the friends Link to post Share on other sites
LucreziaBorgia Posted June 10, 2005 Share Posted June 10, 2005 Love is grand. Its the things we mistake for love that suck. Whatever love you shared becomes something monstrous and unwelcome when it is no longer shared - a parasitic persistent pain and the 'heat of love' turns to the 'heat of infection'. It feels like being sick. I've been there. I live by a simple rule these days: if it is mutual, it is love. If it stops being mutual, it stops being love and I let it go. How would I ever find love again, if all I have inside is the sickness formed by unrequited love for someone else? Its a long road to recovery. You'll get there eventually though. Sorry to hear about your situation. Link to post Share on other sites
ImaManDammit Posted June 10, 2005 Share Posted June 10, 2005 All for the fear of being alone. I mean, to want someone who does not want you, and to agonize over it. It must be because we have a fear that we will never find someone, otherwise why would be put ourselves through this? As cold hearted as it may be, the moment a woman tells me she needs a break or doesn't love me anymore. I pack up things, say its been grand and wish her well. That's over simplifying of course, but its still the gist of it. My life does not revolve around love or seeking love. Its only a component. When your throw your all into love you can only get hurt. Don't get me wrong, love is a good thing, as long as its both ways. Otherwise cya. Link to post Share on other sites
lindya Posted June 10, 2005 Share Posted June 10, 2005 As cold hearted as it may be, the moment a woman tells me she needs a break or doesn't love me anymore. I pack up things, say its been grand and wish her well. That's over simplifying of course, but its still the gist of it. Behaviourally, that's the correct thing to do. If, on an emotional level, you can switch off as easily as that, then it's unlikely that you were ever really switched on in the first place. Link to post Share on other sites
blind_otter Posted June 10, 2005 Share Posted June 10, 2005 Originally posted by ImaManDammit All for the fear of being alone. I mean, to want someone who does not want you, and to agonize over it. It must be because we have a fear that we will never find someone, otherwise why would be put ourselves through this? As cold hearted as it may be, the moment a woman tells me she needs a break or doesn't love me anymore. I pack up things, say its been grand and wish her well. That's over simplifying of course, but its still the gist of it. My life does not revolve around love or seeking love. Its only a component. When your throw your all into love you can only get hurt. Don't get me wrong, love is a good thing, as long as its both ways. Otherwise cya. Codependency is a bitch, ain't it? I agree with all of the above. If someone tells me they don't love me any more (being too proud) I would not be able to admit anything other than a reciprocity of the same apathy. I didn't always think like this, though. Only last year I was a big f***ing mess. I'm still "recovering" as they say. Link to post Share on other sites
Treasa Posted June 10, 2005 Share Posted June 10, 2005 This is why I don't get drunk and try not to demean myself. No love is worth that. Link to post Share on other sites
miss-gonewest Posted June 13, 2005 Share Posted June 13, 2005 Damndd, thank you so much for sharing your wonderful story with us.... I know the experience was far from wonderful for you, but its so comforting to know that I am not the only one who has done the exact same thing... and hey, I was plotting something real similar last night, but didn't go through with it!!! And while I chuckled reading the sorry tale, it also bought tears to my eyes... its just so very sad to me, that someone can make us behave in such a manner! The power that we give to those we love equates to the fact that they can so easily destroy us! But thank you for sharing your experience - may it be a lesson to all of us! And hey, drink away if you wish, I am having a great time on a diet of cigarettes and red wine (no grocery shopping, no washing up, weight loss...) just make sure you hide your phone... or send me a PM instead! You'll be distracting me too! Link to post Share on other sites
ImaManDammit Posted June 13, 2005 Share Posted June 13, 2005 Originally posted by lindya Behaviourally, that's the correct thing to do. If, on an emotional level, you can switch off as easily as that, then it's unlikely that you were ever really switched on in the first place. It all depends on what has happened in ones life. Enough has happened in my life to give me the ability to say, well if you aren't the one, then I need to keep searching cause I don't have alot of time on this earth. No relationship is ever a mistake, only a growing experience. So I take what I can from it and move on. Its only a mistake if affects you negatively before, during and especially after it. This approach doesn't necessarily mean I'm cold or not into the relationship while I'm in it. Link to post Share on other sites
SexKitten Posted June 13, 2005 Share Posted June 13, 2005 Originally posted by miss-gonewest And hey, drink away if you wish, I am having a great time on a diet of cigarettes and red wine (no grocery shopping, no washing up, weight loss...) just make sure you hide your phone... or send me a PM instead! You'll be distracting me too! this sounds a bit too much like depression, not joy...i don't recommend it. Link to post Share on other sites
LeeLoo_Lovecraft Posted June 13, 2005 Share Posted June 13, 2005 Love is wonderful. I've always cherished the opportunities to love someone. Link to post Share on other sites
blind_otter Posted June 13, 2005 Share Posted June 13, 2005 Originally posted by LeeLoo_Lovecraft Love is wonderful. I've always cherished the opportunities to love someone. I'm going to alter this statement --- REAL love is wonderful; I've always cherished the opportunities to TRUELY love someone. TOo many people mistake obsession or lust for love. Link to post Share on other sites
smile95 Posted June 13, 2005 Share Posted June 13, 2005 I cried reading your post. I know how you feel and all I can hope for is time to heal us Link to post Share on other sites
miss-gonewest Posted June 14, 2005 Share Posted June 14, 2005 Originally posted by SexKitten this sounds a bit too much like depression, not joy...i don't recommend it. Ever heard that quote "if you don't laugh, you cry"? Well my coping mechanism for keeping myself from getting depressed is called HUMOUR... And hey, thanks for the motherly advice, but its all a personal healing process for each of us. If having a glass of wine when I get home calms me down, then so be it... I am clever enough to know what is recommended in the face of depression... I've already been there. Link to post Share on other sites
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